Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Lucky You!

Hello.  My name is Tiffany O’Brien.  And I bought jeans at Costco.  I did not try them on.  They are boy jeans--thus the sizes were all irrelevant to me.  $36. Lucky Jeans.  They are so comfortable they feel like sweat pants… so what if the fly doesn’t stay up, minor.  Could even be sold as a feature b/c then you can see that awesome “Lucky You!” I guess you get what you paid for. 
Jordan keeps telling me I need friends.  He throws it into every conversation he gets the chance.  I was getting stressed out about all the TV that I need to watch on Thursday and trying to figure out how I was going to get it all in using the technology I have available and instead of understanding my television crisis
he just said “Ya know this wouldn’t be a problem if you got some new friends.”  Indignant, I reviewed how often I used my car last week.  I am two steps from turning into the freakin’ Yes Woman over here.  I think part of the issue is Jordan doesn’t consider family outings as social.  So last weeks Sounders game and fair activities are completely discounted.  Not sure where Diana and Matty fall on the “social” or “Family” scale.  See, I label them as “Friends,” granted very close ones, but still friends.  Plus,  I think just getting out of the house is an accomplishment, but since Diana and Matty are related to people who are related to me…   maybe he doesn’t count that either?  I sure hope I don’t actually have to get new friends b/c that is sooooooooooooooooooo hard.  I have to go back to being NICE and INTERESTING and I soooooooo prefer acting like myself.
Speaking of being social… b/c I didn’t go to see Pearl Jam, I went shopping with Diana and got a bunch of cool clothes from her store.  It was totally after hours (wait, that’s not social, that’s more like the markings of agoraphobia, however, the dinner with friends after was social) so I felt like I had my own personal shopper, but BETTER b/c it’s Diana, the queen of cool.  I was telling Rollie how I totally spent lots in the last week… and when he asked on what, I was like oh, I don’t know… clothes, presents, and I went to bet on the ponies on Friday.  I don’t know why all race tracks feel like they are from the 70’s, kinda like bowling alleys remind me of the 80’s, and shorts over pants remind me of the 90’s.  We bet on all the races—I won the first two races and then nothing for the rest of the time so I lost BIG—SIX whole dollars. 
Saturday Rach, Janette and I went to see some Flamenco dancers.  My new quest is to learn synchronized clapping.  Apparently the woman gives lessons which I must take b/c it might just be the only sport that I can excel in. 
I also spent 48 hours, going to around 25 stores, looking for the perfect way to be a hungry hungry hippo, and then when I was feeling less and less satisfied, and I’ll admit, it got too hard… I did what anyone would do in my position:  I quit.  On to plan B.
An imperative matter arose this morning that needed to be addressed immediately.  I emphatically explained to Rollie that it is totally logical for donut shops to close at 2pm b/c the majority of donut sales happen in the morning.  You might eat donuts later in the day, but you buy them in the morning when they are fresh.  Other breakfast foods, like waffles, are eaten (in restaurants) all day long b/c you generally eat them right off the griddle and sit down to eat rather than taking them to go.  As I said, this discussion lasted for quite some time, with “intense” opposition.   5 hours later, Shana sees me begin to argue and says “You are very argumentative today-- first the’ what is better Donuts or Waffles’….” T O’B: “Ugh! That isn’t at ALL what the argument was about!” Shana: “Whatever, all I heard was Donuts! Waffles!”  I don’t understand.  I thought what mattered to me mattered to everyone.  Isn’t that what these emails are about?
I will never understand the need to lock bathrooms.  I don’t mean from within, I mean, where’s the damn key for the bathroom, Ich Muss Mal! I had to baby-sit the web developers last week (as in I had to sit across from them saying “Did you fix this?  Why does this look like this?  This isn’t fixed yet.”  Yea they loved me.  Actually, sarcasm aside I think from the cookies they gave me, they did enjoy having someone who wasn’t dead quiet—or they thought that would butter me up-- definitely one of those. )  POINT of the story: I needed 4 different keys and 6 doors in order to get to the bathroom.  If I ever needed a reason to hold it, now I have it. 
And in honor of the many runs to Starbucks I benefited from b/c Dawne said she would fast as long as Latte’s were acceptable…

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sounds Almost Like I Do Stuff

This week’s news (in the loosest sense of the word of course):
The new neighbor, from Australia, enjoys wearing speedo’s and swims without a thought to the fact that he’s swimming where boats often speed by without care and are generally focused on whatever person they are towing and not what is in front of them.  I saw him swim to exhaustion the other day and cling to the buoy until someone came with a raft to help him to shore.  Did I mention that Tina and I are working outside today… oh hells ya!  First day of autumn and it is supposed to get up to 86 today! 
My obsessive personality is at large once again.  After seeing P!NK in concert on Tuesday, I cannot stop listening to her music… where prior to this moment I didn’t even know what she sang, never mind owning anything, now  I heart her.  I just wish I could dance and work at the same time.  Though I suppose this (500) days of Summer from Shana may just be what I need to distract me from the loop of all P!NK, all the time, kick.   (On a side note, every time this one song comes up on Shana’s playlist, I stop and say oh! I love this song! And ironically, I have no idea what it’s called or who sings it.)
Marisa sent me a book when I first got to Seattle, and I finally found time to start on Friday.  The Time Travelers Wife.  It was the awesome, and when I finally finished it on Sunday night, I was up for hours thinking about how much better their lives could have been if I had written the ending.  I know what you’re thinking…
Instead of going to Germany for the real Oktoberfest, I went to the one in Fremont—which is totally the same thing.  I, at one point, was caught doing push-ups..heh… okay it was just the one push up until I was so rudely interrupted.  I was trying to control my pectoral muscles, and when I couldn’t find them at all, never mind control them, I got down and did a push up… which is one of those weird things that I can usually get away with without anyone blinking, but someone decided to come up to us, and then I had to explain the situation…. And when I was laughing about the whole thing I realized that I also use those same muscles to laugh… but I still can’t control them separately which is ultimately why Shana would make a better pop-o-matic bubble than I would.  Ten Points if you followed that. 
Speaking of points, Luke and I were tallying red neck points at the Puyallup Fair yesterday—Items on the list to find were mullets, hunting camo, inappropriate bra showage, no teeth and of course if we saw and actual burnt neck you win the game.  It took 2 ½ hours to get there (I thought Jordan was going to turn around at one point in frustration with the traffic).  ½ way through the fair I started getting my H1N1 paranoia.  So when we were going to go on the Giant slide… the best and only must ride event at the entire fair, I wouldn’t go… b/c I knew it was the must ride event which meant everyone was going on that ride… and germs overwhelmed me and I took a lap.  (Mocking ensued… all the way until Luke sneezed last night in the pool and I gave him the third degree “Was that allergies? You KNOW if they are allergies! Say it! Say they are allergies!”) 
I was so good about not eating any unhealthy foods the whole time… until we were walking out and Jordan said he HAD to have a deep fried Twinkie, and I said if it were me, I would go for the deep fried cookie dough, and one thing lead to another… and you know what… it was HEAVEN… a gooey, warm, delicious piece of heaven that even though they had to roll me back to the car… I did not feel guilty about.  Really.

Stepping back to Saturday-when I went to my first professional soccer game.  No, let’s step back until Thursday when Jordan asked me if I wanted to go with him to a “Sounders Experience” and I thought he was talking about some musical performance… and he had to say, you know where they kick a lil black and white ball around?   When gave him an emphatic “Yes!” he then told me we were going to meet Drew Carey (the owner of the Sounders) and to get some games together b/c Drew likes to play Risk.   The whole event was pretty awesome, Valet parking, walking on the field to a special VIP lounge where, among other luxuries were lattes being made especially for Dawne and I, watching the players practice, meeting Drew, and then being taken up to a the VIP lounge with even more decadence and an awesome view of all the action including like 4 yellow cards and a red card for when a Chivas player high kicked a Sounders in the face.  As I was standing on the field I told Jordan that I always thought my first game would be at The World Cup, but this was cool too.  Top that off with a trip to Office Depot and Tuesday Mornings and a series of Gilmore Girls episodes, and you’ve got a perfect day. 
I did not go to see Pearl Jam last night, and I’m not going tonight.  I thought going to see Pearl Jam in Seattle would be the ultimate Pearl Jam experience, but apparently I’m the only one who thought that… so I’m going shopping with Diana instead… which will be much more productive.  J

Monday, September 14, 2009

Walkin the West Coast Way

Great.  I just pressed too many buttons on my fancy schmancy coffee maker, then walked away to ask a rules question, and came back to find that I had been f*ckin up. 
I have so much to rant about this week!  Sit back, grab a biscotti and tell me about that how delicious that biscotti was… b/c I could go for a delicious…wait, where was I?
First off—I got defriended on facebook.  Not sure if it’s the first time, but it is the first time I noticed.   And no Jen, unlike you, I am not watching the number of friends I have.  The thing is, when I go to contact someone on my blackberry I have to go to “everybody” to search and its alphabetical… so if your name starts with an A, don’t friend me unless you plan on sticking to it.  To make it worse, this particular individual asked to be MY friend.  Wanna know what this means? This means, my former friend wanted to look at all my pictures (understandable), and then read my status updates, and then no longer wanted to be able to read them… which is just insulting.  I do not like it sam I am, I do not like your rude defriending ways.
Next, I wanted to go for a drive this weekend with a lil hike when we got to our destination.  15 minutes before the hike I decided I wanted a 32 ounce latte.  15 minutes into the hike I wanted to vomit.  There were no mile markers, but at one point I wanted to really whine, and then I saw a 3 year old on his way down.  When I thought we had gone as far as I wanted to go, someone came down with a baby strapped to her chest, followed by a woman who said “you’re probably more than ½ way.”   And when I was getting really crabby, an old couple came down and said we were 15 minutes from the end.  But then we saw a spider web suspended in the air (attached to nothing!) floating across the lake … and it totally made it all worth it. 
Ooooh and we listened to some Billy Joel… and I recalled the majority of the side one greatest hits dance moves that Eva and I made up at age 8—I’m tellin ya--classic moves… maybe we can perform at the Christmas party… hey now Uptown Girl! 
Things I watched that you should as well:  A Very Potter Musical (A Zach Special):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmwM_AKeMCk   …I want to talk about all the funny parts… but I don’t want to ruin it for you (quadruple exclamation points)
(500) Days of Summer…  (and then proceeded to have two in depth conversations about… so it MUST be good) and My One and Only… (which made me wish I could have even blonder hair, redder lips and a cool baby blue Cadillac convertible from 1953—is that too much to ask?)
This morning we were discussing Aunt Pat’s bible study homework… to answer the question “What are the most difficult things about being a woman.”  We were pretty stumped by this question.  Even after 20 minutes of chatting… we didn’t come up with anything brilliant… either we are awfully positive individuals… or it’s just awesome to be a lady. 
High School Reunion.  Of the people invited to my high school reunion (on facebook) I am POSITIVE that at least ½ of them did not go to school with me.  No way.  I know I’m bad at names and faces and all… but not that bad.  I wanted to post “Who are these people and why do you want to go to my reunion?” Did someone just invite the people they hung out with in High School? b/c that’s not a high school reunion, that’s your wedding Joyce White. 
My roommate from college called on Saturday—
Erika: I got tricked into running a 5K.   
T O’B: What?! Did you ask if they give you food at the end?
Erika: Yes! And the MOCKED me!
T O’B: Man, if I was going to run a 5K there had better be a cure for cancer at the end of it. 
And then we both laughed because both Erika and I think I’m hilarious.