Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Jammy Dodger

I'm not sure where to start or even where to end given that we're already mid-week at this point.  I guess I'll just entertain you until I get distracted. :)  For anyone who sees someone today that looks a little down (and it isn't a part of their costume) feel free to send them one of these:

Lucas is still going and getting strong with Crew.  Last week, when we walked to my car he announced, " Agony personified is my left butt cheek."  I guess he was working on glutes on Tuesday.  On our way back from Crossroads, we saw a Lotus drive by and he informed me, "If you see someone driving a Lotus, that means all of their friends have cool cars, but they chose last, so that had to get a Lotus."  The more you know! Then we drove behind a Toyota Odyssey and I learned even more about cars.  Lucas: Typical Odyssey bumper sticker, "Peace, Love and Children's books."  Arda taught me the difference between the new and old Odyssey.  If the front looks like a Dolphin, it's the old one.  The new one looks like an angry rabbit - but either way I think they only come in silver."

On Wednesday, we had our internal ship party.  My boss mocked me for my enthusiasm, but I powered through that.  Over all it was super fun - which might have been why Thursday was MISERABLE.  I was incredibly hung over.  In fact, in order for me to get to work I had to get sick a couple of times, drink two sips of Gatorade with aspirin, and keep down an Eggo waffle before grabbing Tupperware (Just in case - like Julie taught me in college when we used to play soccer on Sunday mornings.) I really didn't think I was going to make it - but I also didn't want to admit defeat.  Meanwhile, half the company stayed home and 25% of us were feeling like this:

And as an added bonus, Kelly captured a coworker singing and then shared it with the world. :)

Christy, who was bright-eyed and bushy tailed because she didn't go to the party, took mercy on me and took me to the Original Pancake house.  You would think that would have made it all better - but I still ended up going home at 4:30 and heading directly to bed.  I was, however, very proud of myself when the only facebook post I made was:

Ship party + driver = brilliant idea. Lack of pics = double good idea. Things said by me = undisclosed for the win.

Until Robogabo posted: Had a great time chatting at the party & I remember everything you said :-)

And now I'm terrified.

I had breakfast with Becky on Friday.  She told me that while watching Dr. Who she sometimes doesn't understand the slang terms.  She called her friend for clarification.
Becky: What's a Jammy Dodger?
Friend: It's like a Lucky Duck.
Becky: Once again but this time speak 'MERICAN!
Friend: It's like a jam filled cookie.

When we were leaving the restaurant, Jordan was pulling in - just in time to see both of us wearing princess crowns - though Becky took it a step further and was wearing her wedding dress.
Jordan: Did I miss a Princess meeting?
Becky: Pretty much.
Jordan (to me): Nice to see you up right.  Does that mean you got the toxins out of your body finally?

On Friday during work, I got an email from Dawne telling me that Percy finally opened his eyes!

During the day I headed over to Microsoft Studios and baby sat the Master Chief made of 255,000 Mega Bloks

Followed by a brief baby-sitting job of the brand spanking new Warthog:

I finished up the evening with the second meeting of the "Try New Things Club" at the Polish Cultural Club.  I tried to try blueberry perogies - but they were all out.  Maybe I'll try something new during the next club meeting.  :P  Just kidding!  Everyone tried a bit of every one's meals and it was all very chummy.  At one point, someone was trying to take panoramic photos of the event - but when they looked at the picture of themselves they said, genuinely surprised, "I'm losing hair. Damnit!" Just like Cher in Clueless, I guess he doesn't trust mirrors. 

Then I got to see Elan for a bit when I got home, which was lovely.  On Saturday, we went to the Corn Maze in Kent.  Becky arrived to the house holding a big umbrella and I immediately said, "What are you doing? Don't you know this is a race?" Apparently, I hadn't told her (though why she didn't resume is beyond me.)  Don't worry; Rach and I were the reigning champions.  We were waiting patiently for people to finish the first maze when Becky and Zach walked out second. 

Zach (or Becky?): I should have brought my mace - that would have slowed you down!
Rach: Oh yeah? What happens when you mace our backside?

We got a little lost in the second maze - but luckily other people gave up all together and we at least came out first of the people who completed the race.  Feeling pretty good about that.  Then I skipped a Werewolf and Halloween/Birthday party to do... absolutely nothing.  It was amazing. 

We took Nala to the park on Sunday.  It was her first time away from Percy.  She got in the car excitedly.  Then ten minutes later she started to bark as if to say, "Whoa.  We forgot Percy.  Did you remember to bring him?  I don't think we were supposed to do that."  Luckily, she forgot all about him once we got to the park and actually enjoyed the quick outing. :)

Also on Sunday, I only skipped one Halloween party and a Steam Punk convention.  I did however show up to the Nightmare haunted path.  My fam was pretty scared to go but I encouragingly shouted, "Stop being weenies!  We are going to the FAMILY version!"  Ha ha.  I was totally scared several times - and won't ever being going to the scary version.  I should have known - Jumanji was terrifying to me.  At the beginning there were all of these book scenes in which I wanted to actively speak and participate with the actors.  So when a 9 year old girl asked if I knew where someone was from The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe, and I said I didn't, I did NOT expect her to yell, "LIAR!!!! LIAR!!!!"  I also didn't expect another little girl to tell me that she was going to hang me from a tree (is that a part of How the Grinch Stole Christmas that I forgot/repressed?)  I also felt terrible about actors asking for help and me going sorry! I think I saw Piggy's glasses over in that direction though! Or the Hunger Games kids - No, thanks! I don't want to try any of your berries!  The worst was my traipsing through the graveyard, seeing the black hooded figures coming at me, thinking, oh yeah. I see you.  You're not going to freak me out.  Only to have other cloaked figures jump out at me through the forest on the other side.  Terrifying. 

A brief Hurricane update, despite the fact that it happened this week instead of last week. 

My sister-in-law and nieces were doing their part on Monday evening by eating 12 gallons of Ice Cream before the power went out.  My mother declared that she and her bff Mary Jo had drink in hand, so clearly they were fully prepared for the coming storm.  Then, despite the fact that the power was still out, my parents managed to get steamed lobster for dinner last night.  Not too shabby.  I hope everyone weathered the storm as well as they did.  

Me: Are you holding up?
Briana: Just barely.  We don't have cable or internet.
Me: That's rough.  We didn't have internet once.  We sat there debilitated and complaining, "How did people survive before the internet!!" Seriously, it was the worst ten minutes of my life.

Happy Halloween! 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

This Thug Life of Mine

Actual thing that was said to me just now: “What up Gangsta? You are so thug life right now; I don’t know what to do with you.” I guess Seattle really has changed me?

On Monday, Dawne and Pam met me for lunch near the office which was a lovely surprise.  And on Wednesday, I had Indian Pizza at a Canadian American restaurant.  It was surprisingly good and next thing I knew, Kelly was starting the “Try new things club” which is hella awkward since I don’t try new things. 

We were playing Halo last week so that people could grab some good screen shots.  During the game, my coworker, who is like one of the best players ever, sent out an email to the group that said, “Tiffany assassinated me. I’m done with this game.”  To which another co-worker found went into the footage to find the image of my new assassin status – and now I can update my resume with my new skills!

Corrinne: I was running around and I saw you lying down flat on your back with your hands to your side.  How did you do that?  I’ve never seen someone dead and not in a heap.
Me: I got run over by a Warthog when I wasn’t paying attention. 

Let’s see now, I picked up Luke from Crew and met up with Dawne, Zach and Zach’s friend Alexander for dinner last week.  On our walk in, we passed a poster store and Luke says to me, “This guy was in a band called Wings; I don't know any of the others.”  That’s right; it was a poster of the Beatles.  At dinner, Lucas tried to convince me that the Mercer Island mascot was the “snail” which was really unfortunate during track meets. 

Alexander stayed over that night.  Inexplicably, Casper the Australian Shepard, is terrified of Alexander.  He cowers away and growls softly at Alexander any time he is near. 
Lucas: You might look like a dog from the park that he doesn't like.
Zach: You should have been a mailman.

Frita overheard this fun conversation when he was driving my nephews and their friend’s home last week.
Donovan: The only things you can get if you don’t have any money are friendship, love and family.
Kyle: Well, sometimes if you’re a guy, you gotta have the money.   

When I was dropping Luke off at school he told me: I can’t wait to drive my kids to school in a Porsche.  I’m not saying I’ll be rich.  We’ll just live in a shack so I can have a Porsche.

Momela: What are you doing this weekend?
Me: Seeing Pitch Perfect with Becky at iPic, maybe preparing for a Thriller Flash dance, then Kelly and I are helping BDug shop for a wedding outfit, then I have to make sure Luke is ready for homecoming – then drive him to homecoming…
Momela: Wow.  You really don’t care about those puppies anymore. 

This was the moment that my mother jinxed me of course.  I say this because Friday night Nala woke me up at 2, 3, 4, 5:30 to 7 we were just up, then again at 8:30.  When I called Mo at 6 she said I should call Momela because she had puppies and she would know what to do.  I told her I already talked about Nala with our mother and she said, and I quote, “You did this to her – you can deal with it.”  You can just imagine the type of cheerful girl that was for the rest of the day. I feel really bad about Zach and Luke who probably got the worst of it.  As Zach decided to go to sleep at like 8 because he was bored, and I still had to wait for Luke to call to pick him up from homecoming, I very passive aggressively said, “Great! Have a good night.”  Zach, “Only because I don’t have anything else to do – I might as well.” Me, “Good for you.” 

Friday night, Becky and I tried to give Kelly dating advice via text – all of which she could not take seriously.  Then I experienced the luxury of the iPic in Redmond complete with adult beverages and Jr. Mints served to me in recliners during the film.  It was Aca-awesome.  Now my friends can be prepared to start an a cappella group post haste, and anyone not involved in the singing can be prepared Christmas gifts of our beautiful voices, recorded and performed at Jen’s house (so she doesn’t have any  baby excuses not to come.)

And on Sunday I had a quick photo shoot of Percy – tripling his size in two weeks, he’s up to 15 oz now! I was telling my mom that I felt bad about not weighing Percy every day, but I did measure him after a week and sent her the pictures.  She told me that not only had she not measured her puppies, she didn’t even measure her children.  Thanks for making me feel better, Momela?  I showed Luke a picture of Percy.

Lucas: So cute! It's like Johnny Depp!
Me: He's doubled his weight.
Lucas: And he took it out of Nala (his mama.)

From the Facebook Files:

Between Mark and his 12 year old daughter
Bailey: "Daddy?"
Mark: "Yes, honey?"
Bailey: "I am Iron Man."
Mark: "How do you figure?"
Bailey: "I'm female, right?"
Mark: "Yes."
Bailey: "And the first two letters of 'female' are 'Fe', which is the element for iron on the Periodic Table. That leaves 'male' which is another word for 'man'. So if you put them together, 'I am Iron Man'."
Mark: "...."

Lily: " Now there's even more Crispix in the street!"
Jen: "Needles. They're called pine needles”

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Percy Jackson

We had a very puppy-centric week.  Dawne was sending Pam and I hourly updates of Nala while we were at work on Monday.  Zach and I went to pick up Lucas so that Dawne could continue the Nala watch.  As Lucas got into the car:

Luke: Have you ever gotten a Tetris? 
Zach: Yeah, we’ve all gotten a Tetris before.
Luke: I’m about get my first Tetris of all time so that I can be a part of the “we’ve” club you speak of. 

Then, Dawne and Jordan woke me up at 6 am because Nala’s contractions were 10 minutes apart.  Pam showed up shortly after that and we sat on the floor around the whelping box encouraging Nala and obsessively timing her contractions.  About an hour and ½ later we brought her to the vet where get gave her a shot and sent us back in the car to deliver the puppy in a space that Nala would be more comfortable. 

Dawne to me: And you were worried about delivering puppies in the car.

Nala in between puppies

Long story short, the day just didn’t go the way we expected it – and delivery was definitely in the car.  Nala had two puppies and both were breach.  Sadly, the first did not make it but the second, against all odds managed to survive.  He has been named Percy Jackson in honor of his perseverance and he’s doing really well!   The puppies were supposed to be around 2 oz and Percy was 5 oz - so Nala, a normally 4 lb puppy had been carrying around at least 10 oz of puppy.  Nala was perfect, as always. Day one was kind of exhausting because Nala hadn’t gotten the hang of mothering yet (I said, “Uh, you forgot your baby again, Nala” a lot.)  Nala eventually got the hang of things and when people come over she has been coming out to bring people into say, “Look what I did!” and then periodically, coming over during the day to say, “Look at my baby!” to which Dawne and I always respond with, “You’re such a good mama!” and she seems pretty satisfied with that.  Like a human, at first she would cock her head back and forth and then look up at us, as if to say, "What is he doing?  Do something about this." The other days were less exhausting mostly because Dawne was doing all of the work. 

Dawne: Do you see this pile of laundry (pointing to a full load)? This is Percy’s laundry. 

While staying up with the pups on Tuesday night, I was helping Lucas with a debate.  Lucas: I should be debating if lion cubs are cute.  I could bring in visual aid (holding up his folder with an adorable lion club on it.)

My nephews were doing laundry, when their friend Dylan came over and wanted to play.
Patrick: Why don’t you help us fold so we can get done and play sooner.
Dylan: I don’t know how to do laundry.

We spent a lot of time in Dawn and Jordan’s bedroom to keep an eye on the mama and pup – which also meant we watched a lot of TV.  We were watching Secret Circle, which was a Zach choice, when Lucas commented: This is dramatic irony, Tiffany. The feeling you have right now. You know something the characters don't. That they’re stupid.

We watched Immortal – which was not good, which explains Zach’s comment at the conclusion: I would not have put the title before the credits in hopes that maybe someone forgot what they were watching.

We went to the Pumpkin Patch on Saturday.  Rides were rode:

Lucas: I lied. This is so much better than game works. Like right now.

Coasters were caught on film (please note this was only like 4 feet off the ground).

And Lucas stepped up to take Zach and me on a drive.
Zach: You should take your driver’s test on this.
Lucas: Respect my authority - look at these turns! This is why they made me coxswain.
Me: Some of these pedestrian didn't do so well.
Lucas: That one’s just getting his cat, alright?

We then stopped for lunch in Carnation (turns out, Dawne was the only one in the car that knew where we were, or that Carnation was so close.)

Zach: Everything on this menu is horribly unhealthy.
Lucas: You're young!
Jordan: You only live once, why drag it out?

Then we came home, Matty, Diana, Becky and Evron came over and we carved pumpkins while watching Casper and Betelguise. Here’s our finished work:

I hope you all had a great week – I’ll send updates soon. 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Consider Ourselves Regatta'd

Last week at the shower, Christy had chosen the floor as something one should never lick.  That same evening, when she got home her son was found licking the floor.  When I brought it up Wednesday at dinner, Becky told me that reminded her of the story she had just re-told to a friend about my sister and her kids: (

Maureen was going to start spraying raid on the floor because she saw an ant in the house.  Before she did, she announced to the kids that they were going to have to stop eating things off the floor so they wouldn’t get poisoned—she hadn’t even finished the warning when Kevin started spitting out whatever was in mouth saying “Boy that was a close one!”

I saw “Miss Representation” with Kelly last week – it was really good, even if you’re not a feminist. 

Shana introduced me to Careful, this might distract you for longer than expected.  Before Becky took me to see Madonna, we met Shana for dinner where she was "all up in my sauce" and it didn't even bother me (mostly because I was ignorant to the fact that I was supposed to be upset about it.)  Madonna was awesome, even if she was 2 ½ hours late getting on stage.  J

After reading last week's update, many of my friends responded with, "She really is a liar."  Which I didn't think was very fair.  Most of the time when I lie, it's because I am answering a different question than was being asked.  Like at the DMV, they asked where I was born and I said Jefferson Valley - only that's where I grew up not where the hospital was.  10 minutes later...

Laina: Where are your tickets?
Becky: In my pocket.
Laina: I meant where are you sitting.

Speaking of the DMV, I waited at the DMV with Lucas for 3 hours.  While we were there, we witnessed something that has never happened.  Someone was crying because they had to leave the DMV.  A little girl was being dragged out by her mother as she yelled, “But Mom! I don't want to leave; there are so many friends here!"

We followed that up with a hike with Kelly.  Through no fault of her own, we ended up waiting for her for an hour or two.  Normally, this would be fine, but I started getting antsy at the end there, typing in all caps, that I had been waiting since 10 am and now, as her punishment, she had to hold Casper's leash.  She accepted quite sportingly for a girl who didn't do anything wrong.  On our hike, Lucas exclaimed, "Look at that impressive waterfall, Tiffany!"

Nala enjoying her “walk”:

Sunday morning at 6 AM, Dawne came into my room to tell me that Nala had started having contractions.  We woke up Zach so that he could drive Lucas to his first Regatta in Everett.  But then, in an extraordinarily dumb move, we decided to pack some emergency gear and go in two cars up to Everett (an hour away.)  I became increasingly agitated at myself for letting this happen as we sat waiting until finally I started yelling.

Me: I can't believe Nala's going into labor and we're at a freakin' REGATTA! We're going to have to deliver these puppies in the wild like ANIMALS!
Dawne: She is an animal!

Then Zach posted that he was "Kicking ass at my first regatta"

Me: This is Zach "kicking ass at his first regatta."
Zach: Tiff this is just defamation of character, this photo was staged. I know I was there!
Me: It's true. I admit, he didn't actually eat that donut. He was too full from the two donuts and bagel that he ate minutes before.

After the first race I overheard this conversation:
Lucas: That was the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Luke's friend:  But Lucas this was a 4 K, you will have longer races.
Lucas: Then we'll get better and then that will be the hardest thing I've ever done. 

At lunch, Dawne and I were too afraid go into the restaurant, so we sat in the parking lot behind the Mexican place, by the dumpster with Nala and Casper as I just shook my head at how ridiculous our behavior was.  Then, 8 hours later - we finally got to drive home. 
Dawne:  Every time you count the hours, it gets longer.
Me: That's because I was saying it every hour, as we sat there with nothing to do, worried that Nala would have puppies on the side of the highway, waiting for us to take three pictures of Luke float by. 

I'm just a delightfully patient person, huh?   Okay, I have bigger news about Nala - but I'll wait until the next update.  Until then, I will leave you with this.  Dr. Rach posted a horribly romantic picture of herself and her boyfriend Anders, with her hand on his chest.  The caption underneath read:
 Anders: "Will you cover up this stain on my shirt so it doesn't show in the photo?"
Dr. Rach: "Of course, my love, no one will ever know it was there."  

A very big congratulation to Debina and Mark for their newest arrival, Matthew James and Katie and Kyle for their newest arrival Colin Neil – both born on October 5th