Monday, June 27, 2011


This is going to be a light week.  Basically, I made donuts (which are NOT good the next morning), hung out with a visiting uncle, started a puzzle, watched some rom coms, went to two parties, played some ghetto skip-bo, oh, and spent 8 hours with all 8 of us cleaning, cementing, rebuilding, and pressure washing the yard.  Good news? We’re totally ready for summer now!  And in honor of the summer, here’s a summer song list from my friend Chris:

Okay, I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I think, in honor of the last Harry Potter book, we should all watch “A Very Potter Musical” again:

This weekend Lucas made his own skate boarding gloves out of a cutting board and gardening gloves, started his own skate deck (a new term I learned this weekend.  Cathy said it to me, and I just stared at her because I heard the words, I just didn’t understand what it meant and didn’t want to say “what” because I was sure I could figure it out) design company, and specifically, told Dawne he was renaming his record label company to “Party Animal.” Dawne responded by saying, “You’re just not creative anymore.”  Perhaps our standards might be a tad too high?

Two days before:
Dawne: I miss the old Luke.
Luke: Am I not funny anymore? Is it because I don't cross dress anymore?

BTW my new term for this week is “Shindiggery.” I’m not sure if it is ever been used before, but I think instead of doing the research, I’ll just go ahead and be proud of myself for being so incredibly clever. 

My cousin decided not to go to Penn State recently because tuition was too expensive.  When my dad heard this (after paying for my brother and I to attend PSU) said, “Yea.  I know.”  I’ll go ahead and speak on behalf of myself and Sean when I say, “I am so thank you.”

I saw the check-out person from the grocery store at Red Robin on Friday—I almost went up to her and said, “Hey Dina!” but then I realized even though I know her, she probably doesn’t know me.

Lucas made a deal with his grandfather that if he helped remove/cut up the hot tub and help put the new one in, Uncle Ray would help him build a 4’ x 24’ ramp on the sport court.  I told Shane and he said, “I’ll be there the day it’s finished because to show up the day before it was finished is just stupid.”

Lucas: You really have to work for the jujubes.
(Then after dropping them all on the floor outside:)
Lucas: I'm not going to pick up the black ones because no one likes those anyway. See they have little rocks on them (as he placed them back into the box)- now you'll really have to work for them.

Lucas: I think if the other animals evolved, Beavers would be great architectural engineers.
Me: Ya.  And the Crane would make a very good crane.

We went to Spazzo’s the other night upon Luke’s request. My two uncles were not pleased with their meals, though one was significantly more vocal on the subject.
Uncle Bill: Ray, would you like to not like my Pizza?
Uncle Ray: No, I’ll just eat something when I get home.
Susan (to Aunt Pat): Is your kitchen open late?

After Uncle Ray did try and disliked the pizza: That is the worst pizza EVER.
Me: It’s less of a pizza than flat bread.
Uncle Ray: I hate flatbread.
Lucas: That will be on his tombstone “Will always be remembered for his hatred of flatbread.”

The next morning at IHOP, Uncle Bill said to Uncle Ray, “This is uncomfortable.  I bought a gift certificate to Spazzo’s.  Are you not going to use it?”

I went to a Vaudeville party on Saturday night, hosted by two friends that I went to school with back in NY (crazy right?) I went as a magician.  Once again, I didn’t have to shop for my costume as the Top hat was sitting by the door, the cape and handcuffs were in with the magician box, and the severed hand that I put in hand cuffs attached to myself (b/c I’m not a very GOOD magician) was in the basement.

I’m convinced if anyone goes into the basement they are going to be very disturbed when they see bins labeled clearly: “Heads”, “Dead Fred”, “Body Parts”, “Lab Material”, “Spider webs” and “Chains” (and that’s just what I remember off the top of my head.)  As I was hunting I just kept thinking of when I was little and we were convinced that there was a mystery surrounding an elderly neighbor’s house and how we would have wet ourselves if we peered through a window and saw these bins. 

Becky: You know that person is saying, “I just saw a vamp with a top hat and Groucho Marx walk by.”

Me: I'm pretty sure 20 bucks buys you a thousand Krispy Kreme donuts.
(After buying two dozen)
Me: Imma take a bite out of each one of these and put it back.
Becky: I didn’t know Krispy Kreme served Ice Cream.
Me: Where do you see that?
(To which Becky just pointed at the picture of a gigantic ice cream cone next to me.)

Me: It’s official!  Gays can now get married in NY!
Lucas: The catch is they have to marry a woman.

I got an x-ray today b/c I thought I might have broken my wrist.
Me: FYI I am not broken.
Becky: I never said you were broken.  Or did I?  I don't remember making that claim to your face.
Me: My wrist dumb dumb.
Becky: You're the queen of hurting yourself, but not enough that the medical profession would actually be able to help you at all.

Monday, June 20, 2011

$25 Home Depot Gift Card

The power went out the other day for a moment.  It was still sunny out, but I lit a single candle with my Twilighter because that is what you are supposed to do in a black out.  We got the generator running, and then before we knew it the power was back on.  So, I turned the generator off, but the internet was still not running.  While Lucas, Nate and I were sitting staring at each other in the living room Lucas commented, “This is the real apocalypse. God wanted to do something that would really piss us off.  No internet.”  But then, I realized, I just didn’t flip a switch all the way, and like magic, we were up and running again, and I suddenly I didn’t need a nap anymore.

As I may, or may not have mentioned, the only person who ever tags either of us at various locations is Shana. So every time we hang out with her, Lucas and I always giggle over her efficiency.  On Monday, my phone was buzzing to tell me that someone had notified me on FB.
Me: Who is facebooking me?
Lucas: It’s Shana. She's here and she's tagging us in our home.

Speaking of Facebook:
Me: Do you ever comment and know it will be deleted?
Nate: No, but sometimes I comment and wish it would be deleted.

Lucas and I have been trying to really live up to our facebook activity of “Making Doughnuts” so we had to run out for more supplies.  At the register, Lucas ran back for some chips.
Me: Salt and Vinegar. Belch.  I don't like those. They remind me of Easter.
Lucas: And Easter always makes you cry.

Me: Briana told me that when she gets married she’s just going to have a big party for her shower and only have one thing on her registry: $25 gift cards to Home Depot.  That way no one has to watch her open anything, “Thanks for coming, and thanks for the $25 Home Depot Gift Card.”
Momela: That is Brilliant.  Tell her I’d be happy to send her wedding gift today*. (*Briana isn’t engaged.)

Briana: You know how other people run marathons and set goals for themselves like “finish in such and such a time.”  Yea, I only have one goal.  Don’t die. 
Me: That is basically my daily mantra.

While reading Nate’s paper:
Me: I don’t believe that you started to believe.
Nate: Haven’t you ever heard of artistic license?

Lucas: I used to go into music stores and be embarrassed about buying records.  Now I get that same feeling when I go to buy an old video game at Game Stop.
Me: I could see that.  Those guys are so judgmental. It’s ridic.
Lucas: Yea.  They are Ri-DICKS. 

Saturday morning, despite the rain, I wanted to go to the dog park and Dawne and Lucas accommodated me.   Nala was less than pleased, despite an offer to use her special dog umbrella.  She stopped in her tracks, and looked at us like, “I’m not this little so I can walk when I’m miserable.”  Lucas commented, “Out of people who look like they are having a good time, she would stand out.”  We later saw a very serious dog owner who was challenging his dog to fetch in a field of tall grass.  Casper was pleased to hop along behind the other dog as his owner gave curt commands that we’re instantly listened to.  Dawne also spoke to Casper with a not-so-brief command, “Casper! Now try to bring him over to us!”  Lucas then whispered to me, “You know that guy is thinking, ‘your dog doesn’t know sh*t.”

We went out for a lovely evening of wine tasting for Laina’s birthday on Saturday and followed up the high class tasting with trip to a Laadla.   Many of us took notes.  Under one of the wines I wrote, “Dust and Death” followed by “Sweaty Saddle?”  Perhaps, this was not my favorite wine. 

When we were wrapping up, Becky and I decided we should also taste the elegant bouquet that is lemonheads found in a jar of candy by the door.  I hid my wrapper in my wine bottle bag—but then, after Becky and I gave a strangers calves a slow clap, my wrapper flew out of the bag onto the floor in the middle of everyone.  The owner then said, “Oooh, someone got into the candy.”  To which, I leaned down to pick up the wrapper and said, “*sigh*I guess I’ll pick that up.” As if I was doing a favor for whomever the culprit was. 

Jen could only stay for 15 minutes.  Before she left she said, “Let me pound this and go pick up my kid.”

After Shawn slammed his chair down on my foot; Laina comforted me by saying, “Yeah.  He’s a jerk.  He sometimes brushes my hair too hard.” 

For Father’s Day, I called my dad the day before for a pre-happy.  During our discussion, I mentioned that I finally could tell the secret my niece had told me weeks before about Jackie trying to set her Aunt Carla up with her teacher.  She even gave him a note that said, “Are you looking for someone special? Because my Aunt Carla is looking for someone special.” And then proceeded to not only list Carla’s attributes but she had ten people (friends and fam of the teacher) to sign the letter to verify the validity of her proposal.
Frita: Maybe if Carla doesn’t like him, you could date him.
Me: I don’t want her cast offs.
Frita: No! Everyone has different tastes! It would be like shopping for a car. Ferrari’s aren’t necessarily better than Audi’s or Corvette’s—really just as long as you don’t end up with one of those little Smart Cars, you’re fine. 

Frita: I was reading that thing you write today and I noticed you said that Shana had met a gay.  Did you mean that? Or did you mean guy?
Me: I meant gay.
Frita: Okay.  See I do read them. I don’t always understand them, but I read them. 

Met Matty for brunch Sunday morning followed but a family trip to the Fremont Fair.  When we got there, Lucas commented, “Look at all of these damn hippies.”  To which I said, “We are in their homeland.  We can’t be surprised that to see them in their natural habitat.”

 (I wish this guy had spelled "Horrible" correctly.) 

Monday, June 13, 2011

What the Fuzzy?

I told myself last night that I was going to take today to rest, write and read.  Then Dawne suggested a walk at the dog park followed by a double car wash.  I finally said no to the boat ride, finished the Vegas update, and at 7, I am starting to write this week’s update, just hoping that I finish at a decent hour.  I feel like I have been running full speed ahead for the last 8 weeks in a whirlwind of fun and excitement and I can only hope to share the news with you before I fall asleep in sheer exhaustion. 


I asked Lucas what I missed over the weekend, and he told me about the replacement keyboard player for Allium. I was informed that, “The new keyboard player is really good at music but she's kinda slutty.”

Becky met me Tuesday morning for breakfast.  The bus dropped her off at Microsoft, and then as she was running to meet me, she face planted in the middle of an auxiliary street.  She rolled over, and just lay there for a moment.  When a gentleman passing by asked if she needed anything, she replied, ““Yes. Do you think you could help me gather up the bits of my pride that are scattered around on the pavement? They must be here somewhere.”

Over coffee she explained to me that I had to stop telling people that they were a part of my circle of trust and therefore could do pretty much whatever they wanted and I’d understand.
Me: Why? It’s totally a circle of trust.
Becky: No. It’s a line of trust that goes directly to the Monday Email.

Tuesday evening, Laina invited us all over for dinner, where everyone else made delicious, yummy things while my “homemade” dishes all suspiciously came in plastic containers with labels stating what they were.  Still living off the high of Vegas, and adding in the joy that is my friends, we had a delightful evening.  
Upon seeing Lily, age 5, eat her cheesecake top down:
Me: Hey I eat cheesecake like that, Lily!  We are like bosom buddies
Jen: Only you have those and she doesn't.
Lily: Heeeyo!

Then, the evening ended with Lily asking, “Michael, why are you here when Shana’s not?

Those of you who know me, know that sometimes when I really want to know what’s going on, but I don’t necessarily want to pry, will ask “What’s your happiness level, from one to ten.”  This way, I can get a gauge on what’s going on, and it gives a person an opening to chat if they need to.  Much better then, “How you doin’ buddy? You okay? You wanna so-da?” During a similar conversation, I was trying to figure out how to get the level up from a 6 to a 7 or 8.

Me: Then tell me three things that bother you in life.
Chris: I really hate that “beg, steal or borrow” phrase.


E3 was this week and I was pleased to hear that some WizKids people had been thinking of me via text messages from Justin.  Towards the end of the conversation however I received the following message:

Justin: I am now over my 500 SMS messages.  You will now need to pay me .25 cents per text to stay your friend.  I will split it with you. 
And then later…
Justin: We can split it. 12.62 - I take paypal.

All right.  The Rejection:

I asked someone out in an epic fashion on Friday.  I had Lucas put together a song (in response to a conversation with the gentleman) and then I sent the song:

Song Name: Truckload of Tiffanies
Artist: Lucas Weisman
Album Name: Doesn’t this make you want to go out with one Tiffany?

Then followed up with saying, “Did you see the album name or do I actually have to say that I really like you and I think we should go out?”  And, I truly believe that this romantic comedy worthy ask out, followed by a hell’s no, would have induced audiences everywhere to throw pop-corn at the screen.  On the bright side, my gallbladder rejected me and I got over that.  Plus, my theme song will live on, and Lucas told me he’d write me a new song for the next time.   

Skipping ahead a bit, Saturday night, we went to Karaoke, and I sang George Strait’s “Check Yes or No” in honor of Friday’s events.  My friends and the Karaoke Jockey assured me in spades that they would indeed, check yes.  We eventually shut down the bar.  I left the bar first but when Shana made her exit into the parking lot she stated, “Now, that was the ultimate rejection.” And explained that the karaoke guy had said that if we gave him our numbers, he would let us know the next time it was slow and when everyone walked out without comment, he said, “…or not.”  I was appalled.  I would never do that to a person.  So, never a girl to miss an opportunity, Jen ran back inside:

Jen: Hey KJ! {Karaoke Jockey} She said I could give you her number!
KJ: For when it is a slow night?
Jen: or…whatever.

On picking songs:
Shana: She has a list
Me: You have a list?
Jen: I have a list.

On the dirty version of summer nights:
Jen: It’s a dirty one.
Shana: I know, I requested it.
(Then I proceeded to totally blush and thus I refuse to share the song with all of you, but I cannot prevent you from googling it on your own.)

On seeing that the bar’s Karaoke books actually were reused hospital binders that they hadn’t bothered changing the labels:
Jen: ….Hippocratic oath.
Shana: I prefer “hypocratic oath.”
Jen: Right. First, forget what I said before. 
Backing it up a bit, on Thursday, I went out to happy hour with the Barista’s from Caffe Ladro, Becky & Rollie.  Towards the end after some people had left, Rollie pointed out, “There are 6 of us at this table, and I am only hearing 3 voices and one of them is mine.  That can’t be good.”  Awk. Ward.

We went over to Jen’s to drink, eat ice cream & play Beatles Rock Band Friday night.

Lily (5): Don't even eat it, just drink it.

Me: Isn't it supposed to be octopi?
Rach: I don't think they had...
Me: Grammar back then?
Rach: No, the word octopus.
Also, every time I tried to draw/teach her cursive, Lily immediately tore out the page in her notebook and recycled it.  She just doesn’t appreciate what I have to offer.  There seems to be a lot of that going around. :P

Saturday was jam packed.  Despite my promise for rest, writing and reading, we went to the vet, Starbucks, the dog park, the skate board shop, lunch, Georgetown Carnival, and then on our way home to go in the pool:
Dawne: Do you want to just go on a ferry for fun?
Me: YES!
So… we did, with the dogs, for no reason other than it was a lovely day out and we could.

Dawne: Pretty doors
Me: On the crematorium?
Dawne: Is that what that was?
Me: Yes.
Dawne: Come on in - you'll never leave!
Me: I guess you do have to be especially welcoming in that business.

Maureen got a phone call during the day from the boys’ vice principal to inform her that Patrick was in her office because he said the F word.  Basically, the VP was very impressed that when Patrick came in, and she asked what he was in there for, he honestly answered, “For inappropriate language.”  Later, Maureen was talking to Patrick, explaining calmly that he shouldn’t use bad language.
Patrick: I know.  You shouldn’t even say things that sound like bad language.
Mo: Well, yes.  I guess that’s true.
Patrick: Yea, because I got sent to the vice principle today for saying “What the fuzzy?”
(Sorry to drop the F-Bomb on you guys.)

And now, Imma get some sleep.  I do wonder when I’ll stop sounding like Demi Moore.  I know, I know. People Karaoke shouldn’t complain about hurty voices, but I did it anyway!  

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Perfection From the First Wink.

Finally, we’re getting to the Vegas update.  As I told Jen, I don’t believe in the old “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” In fact, I like to take notes.  Basically, I had a weekend of perfection.  I did feel guilty about leaving work early on my first Friday so it took the entire drive to Shana’s to shake the guilt off… THEN it was perfection.  Seriously.  Perfection from the first wink.  Literally.  We were in the airport and a woman came up to ask about the flight and I said, “We are waiting for the Pilot (Insert wink) to get here.” And she instantly replied, “Then I’ll go finish my (insert wink here) gigantic margarita.”  I don’t know why I winked, but we were instantaneous friends with the married woman from then on.

In the plane, we asked someone to switch seats with Shana.  She hesitated, but right before the plane took off she said she would switch.  After thanking her, I said, “Wait, wait, wait! I have something for you.” Then I put my book down and gave her a slow clap.

While Shana was sleeping, Rach noticed that the nail polish that Shana had asked her to hold on to, was never closed properly, and leaked all over her Coach purse.  As we were trying to rectify the situation, three airline attendants came running towards us to tell us we couldn’t paint our nails.  “Thanks, now can you get us some extra napkins?” that combined with a spilled beer, we might just have gotten our money’s worth in paper products. 

I should back up.  Before we left for Vegas I learned that Rach’s boyfriend, who had never been to Vegas asked her if she was going to have time for a hike while she was there.  And Shana’s boyfriend made a request, “If you get married, I better like him!” Those guys. 

Friday night, there was a woman in this hot gold shiny dress which when I saw her, stopped dead in my tracks and exclaimed “oooh wow pretty” and then Rachel slow clapped her.  An hour later, I saw her in a bar and told her how awesome her dress was and I also said, “Rach gave you a slow clap and you didn't even notice.” I guess her outfit was too loud to hear it.

Within an hour of being in Vegas, Shana had met a new gay and gotten all the dirt on the hotel, where to eat, drink and an offer for free facials.  Classic Shana. 

We stopped at this new bar, enticed by free drinks.  Rach, told me “The night is young! Enjoy your free drink and scope out the ... one guy.” So naturally, I posted this on face book and Becky responded, “My one guy just proposed to sweep me off to bed when he spotted me wearing a hair net. I guess after 9 years of marriage, a hair net is the only see-through piece of clothing I've worn in a while.”

We lost Shana & Jenna around a little bit before midnight. While Rach ran to the bathroom, I chatted up a security guard to find out where Caesar’s Palace was so we could go hunt down Carla.  I had to cut the conversation short because I realized that it was already 12:04, and therefore Rachel’s birthday.  I quickly ran into the bathroom yelling “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! You already missed 4 minutes!”  Rach was wearing very hot red high heels, which as the night went on got a bit hurty, so I offered to trade shoes (effectively shoving my 9 ½ feet into size 7 ½ shoes.)  25 minutes later, I stopped and gave them back to her.  When we got to CP, Carla had already left for the Wynn, so we got a drink and got on the first line we saw. 

On seeing a statue outside Caesars Palace, Rach said,” Heeeeaaay! I know you. You're David. I recognize you from your nether regions.”

Yadda yadda had fun, met some people, etc… and then got back to room around 4 am and naturally had a giggle fest.  As far as I can tell this is what I thought was so funny:

Me: What should I do with these pillows?
Rach: Throw them on the floor
Me: But they're free!

Rach: Remember that time we each spent 20 bucks to get in and 8 bucks for water?

Me: It’s not you it’s me and a little bit of you ( I don’t know why I said this to Rach, but clearly I thought I was hilarious. Alcohol will do that.)

We got up at around 10 on Saturday to head over to Hard Rock for our spa day.  While we were in the cab I mentioned to the girls that I was going to need to get some aspirin when we got to the hotel.  Our cab driver responded saying that he had something for me and then proceeded to take out a bottle with a multitude of pills.  He poured some out and said to me, “Not the blue ones.  Those are my blood pressure medicine.”  

Four hours later:
Me: I need to find that cabbie I think the pills are wearing off.
Rach: What did he give you?
Me: I don't know they were orange.
Rach: I was going to tell you not to take them..
Me: but before you could speak I had shoved them into my mouth and washed them down with a caramel latte?
Me: I think my brain is bigger than my skull.  Is it possible that I got smarter last night?
Dr. Rach: No. Definitely, not.  You just took random pills from a stranger.

In response to Shana telling me to “Watch it. I could take you” I said, “Sometimes I go too far and that’s what apologies are for.”

I went across the hall from the spa to get a pedicure in my robe, which made me a little uncomfortable, until one chick said “Girls walk around in thongs, frankly, you are over dressed.”  I had to sheepishly explain to the pedicure chick why my toes were bruised and scraped up—but she made them much better.  And, it turned out that, she grew up in the town next to my hometown, her best friend Sue Tacera, graduated a year before my brother from Lakeland, and had worked at the JV Mall.  Small World. 

Meanwhile, Shana had her own chat and had found out that the weekend before there was a brawl between all these rappers that I don’t know and “Rehab” the bar/pool that we were at had been covered in blood. 

I came back to the spa, and everyone was already ready to go out to the pool, so I rushed to get ready and when everyone headed out, I turned to the chick next to me and said, “My friends left me so I'm just going to talk to you.”

When we were outside in the sun, I took out my shirt, folded it so you could read the “Wyoming, who cares?” and put it over my face so I wouldn’t burn.  Rach responded, “Nice.  Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll offend someone.”

The Hard Rock Spa, “Vanity”, was elegant, decadent and serene.  Everything you could ask for in a spa. We decided to shower after a long day of pampering and sunshine, and while in the shower or tranquility, I yelled, “Rach! Can you hear me? Are you here?” When I got an affirmative, Shana and I launched into a beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday at the top of our lungs… the acoustics in there were AMAZING.

We went out for dinner that evening before seeing Garth.  While we were waiting for a table, Shana met some guy who is bff’s with Garth, and Rach and I gave/gambled 20 bucks because I thought the chick manning the table looked bored.  Dinner was incredible and our waiter was a delight.    

Shana: Where are you from?
Waiter: I am from Lebanon and I'm not a terrorist and I don't have any bombs on me (while his hand was raised to God.)

And I have no idea why this was proper dinner conversation, but Rach also explained, “I love my bladder irritants.”

Then, we went to go see Garth.  He was amazing.  Best. Show.  Ever.  No seat was more than 70 feet from him and it was just Garth and a guitar telling stories, chatting, singing everything from Jim Croce to George Jones.  He would be playing Bob Segar, then say “Then I threw some country on top of that.” And started right into playing “Thunder Rolls.”  He was hilarious and charming.  Garth told us about meeting James Taylor, saying, “and at that point, I peed myself.”  He invited Trisha Yearwood on stage and she thanked us for letting him play because “he’s been doing this show in our living room for the last 2 years and it was pathetic.” They invited a young 17 year old on stage and Garth asked, “Do you know any Garth Brooks?” and then she tried her best to sing “Friends in Low Places.”  He played for an hour longer than the first show saying, “I understand if you have some where to go, go ahead, I’m just going to play.”  When we sang The River, the man CRIED and gave us a slow clap. Honestly, I cannot talk enough about this—but I’ll stop b/c I have more stories to tell… J

Then, Shana got sick and Jenna took her back to the hotel.  Rach and I proceeded to go to a club and find my sister-in-law’s sister Carla and her friends.  We also found a this 60? Year old woman with an incredible body working a pole like I have never seen a pole worked.  She had short shorts and a loose top that was less than supportive.  As Rach said,”She's not gonna let a little slip of the nip slow her down.” But her exposure did force the bouncers to ask her to stop.  Before she did though, I snapped a shot, tagged Carla, and sent it to my brother with a note saying, “Hanging out with your sister-in-law!” to which Sean responded, “Man, that P90X is really working for her!”

We met some guys, or rather my friends met some guys, and we drank a bit, closed down the club, and headed into the casino part of the Wynn.  I was left at a bar with a pair of shoes and some purses, and started chatting with the people around me as I waited for various people to return (like a home base if you will.)  It was there that I met a hilariously sarcastic fella named Chris.  Before I knew it, it was 6:30 am and the sun was out.  We declined the classy request of, “Just give me 15 minutes with her” and sent Carla and Sharon in a cab back to their hotel.  By the time we got back to our room, it was 7 am.  We tried to be quiet by giggling in the bathroom, but apparently that made the giggles 4 times louder.  So, we grabbed our swim suits and went to go to the pool. Before leaving:

Me: I met my soul mate, Winnipeg Chris!
Shana: One Bang Chris?
Me: Winnipeg Chris!
Shana: Too late.  I heard One Bang Chris.  That’s his name. 

Luckily, I had already chatted up the security guard on Friday, so I, ever so sweetly said, “Darren from Hawaii!! Will you please open up the pool so our giggles don’t keep our friends up?”  And he did.  We tried to get in the pool, but after 5 minutes I told Rach we needed to get out before I fell asleep and drowned.  I couldn’t get to sleep (damn those free capt. and cokes!) so I called my mom while Rach dozed.

Me: I haven’t gone to sleep yet!!
Momela: I’ve never been so proud of you.  Don’t get sick.

Eventually, we all showered, packed, ate, and went over to the new Vdara hotel to meet up with Shana’s friend Stefan. 

Shana: I love this hotel!!
Me: Why don’t you marry it?
Shana: I just might, if Brett likes it that is.

We then proceeded to spend the day in the sun in a swank cabana and private pool area.  I told Stefan (who is originally from Munich) about all the German phrases I know.  

Me: I also know how to say “Ich mus mal.” (“I need to pee” in German.)
Stefan: That's necessary
Rach: Only if you want friends.

 Okay, that’s basically what happened in Vegas.  You can find my pictures posted here: