I've been really distracted, so if this
email is fractured, that's probably why.
My brother made a comment about it being "good to be
reminded." I wasn't sure about that when he said it, but now I realize
that it is good to be reminded. Reminded
of how important family is. Reminded
about what's important in life. And
reminded to be grateful for the good things that are going on in your life,
while you can. Like living near Mt.
I'm not sure where to begin. I made the last minute decision to fly down
to Florida last weekend. I received word
that my cousin Theresa was in the hospice and was fading fast. I met my parents and brother down there, and
my cousin Colleen was gracious enough to let us stay with her. I got to stay in her daughter's bedroom (who
is currently away at college.) While the
circumstances were sad, finding this taped to her shower wall, was not.
Sean was staying in Anthony's
room. Anthony and his brother Brendan
had spent a couple of summers with Sean and Stacey, while they interned at the
NYSE. On Saturday morning, Sean
FaceTime’d with Stacey and the girls.
Sean: Colleen must have bought trophies
for Anthony because there's no way he earned all of those. And I'm not sure but I think he painted his
room to match our guest room because he missed us so much.
Jackie then proceeded to tell us all
about how she was busy making a birthday wish list.
Sean: You're birthday planning already?
Jackie: It's hardly a month away.
Me: Actually is 5 weeks away.
Me: Maybe you should take some time and
think about what you're going to get me for my birthday.
An hour later I got this email from
it is Jackie!!! Here is your Birthday List! I hope you have the time to look up
all the items you are asking for because they ROCK!
Tiffany’s Birthday Wish List...
~ A Bedazzled Toilet Plunger
~ “A Big Mouth Toilet Mug”, a mug that
looks like a toilet!
~ A Morning Mug (color changing)
~ Accoutrements Emergency Underwear
~ Ez Drinker 6 Pack Redneck
Beer and Soda Can Holster Belt, Camo Camouflage Design
~ Bacon Shaped and Themed Bandages
~ Fred 12-Ounce Pick Your Nose Paper
Cups, Pack of 24 (cups with noses on them!)
~ Big Mouth Toys Prescription / Pill
Bottle Drink Kooler
~ Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray
~ Anger Management Ceramic Mug
~Bacon Flavored Tooth paste
~ ~Christmas Story Nightlight Leg Lamp
~ Pink Light Up Shoe Laces
~ Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser
man, I hate to tell you this, but I already have half of these. Clearly you
know me a little too well. :)
So, my cousin Theresa’s
husband had a stroke a couple of years ago and sometimes needs some help
dressing (apparently.) I only know this
because over drinks I heard Kristin say, “I haven't
seen a penis in 20 years and then I had to see Toms.”
Tom: I can’t find my milk.
Kristin: Are you accusing me of stealing
Tom: It didn’t just disappear!
Tom also, in a bit of a rage, called my
cousins, “f***ing Gypsy see you next Tuesday.”
Again, that was not funny, but the fact that we proceeded to bandy about
the term, “Gypsy C’s” for the rest of the weekend was very funny to me.
On Friday night, we went out for a late
dinner and drinks to Applebee’s.
Waitress: Would any one like dessert?
(cousin) Tommy: I'll take the baked
On Saturday, Frita and I went up to the
hospice early to hang out with Theresa.
I got her to eat a little and drink a little, small victories is really
all we had this weekend so I took what I could get. Then we dropped her husband back home around
3 while the rest of the fam started showing up. OH! Wait, backing up. Jen, Tommy and Curtis arrived at one
point. Then, I heard the emergency alarm
Curtis (running into the room, sitting
down like a guilty child): I was just checking to make sure it worked! And I
didn’t see the big red sign…
Ironically, it was the door next to the
other sign that said, “No talking; Quiet area.”
Colleen: Theresa has good veins.
Theresa turned to me, and with her eyes
only said to me, “Why are they looking at my veins?” I didn’t know what to tell her. I guess that’s what you get when you have two
That evening we all went back to my
cousin Colleen’s for some BBQ. There was a lot to talk about, but I think most
of it should stay between fam. Except…
Sean told us that he was going shopping
and asked his girls to go with him, saying, “Come on! Kids love the furniture
store!” And, because they are his kids, they DID love the furniture store. They spent the whole time using the furniture
as props for videos. I can’t wait to see
Two stories were going on at the same
time that included the following being said all within moments of each other.
Pat: He gave him a Bro Job.
Anthony: Come on! I’ve seen Pawn
Frita: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING
Me: Um, they said BRO job and PAWN
Frita: oh. That’s not what I heard. What is heck is that?
Kim: I’m going to make one of these
fancy cupcakes [from the magazine she had.]
Me: Oh really? Did you just tell me you weren’t able to make
Meanwhile, my cousin Erin makes waffles…
from SCRATCH (no bisquick!)
Kim (to Sean as she was leaving): Have
a safe trip and if you don't, remember the fun times we had.
I’m not sure if her husband, Ralph was
intentionally funny, but we thought he was hilarious. For example, Colleen baked coffeecake in the
morning and then had to run to an appointment.
Ralph: You have to use a special knife
for the coffee cake so you don’t scratch the pan. I know because I've scratched it before.
While watching the Oscar’s, during one
of the songs: This is like American idol; he's not going to make the cut.
And, when my cousin Tommy called on
Sunday evening to tell us that he fell riding his bike and broke his hip, and
everyone was asking about doctors, and prognosis, and how it happened, Ralph
kept say, “but was it his left or right hip?”
Sean joked around about making sure he didn’t get any sun,
even carrying an umbrella if necessary, as not to upset Stacey upon his
return. That was easy, but getting home
was not. He ended up having to take a
couple trips to the airport before he finally was able to get a flight
home. (I drove twice on Sunday, joking
about how I like to take some test runs, and then got lost going on
I didn’t get home until 2:30 am Monday night/ Tuesday
morning, and sadly, Theresa passed away this morning (3/7). I’m glad we were able to get down to Florida
to see her, and spend some time with the fam.
Hug ‘em while you can people! (This, from the non-hugger, I know!)
Side note, Erika sent me a picture of herself (hair and neck) covered in vomit, which I will spare you from.
Erika: Look whet your goddaughter did!
Me: That's gross. You're disgusting. She's perfect. You're disgusting.