Monday, August 31, 2009

all Labor Day makes Tiffany a dull girl

I know.. I have a week before Labor Day, but as my track record has proven that I can’t get Monday emails out on Monday, I thought I would get this card out early. 
The fact that summer is “over” is a lil crazy, and I definitely only got to go on the tube twice this year… and yes, I do think you should cry for me okay?
Good thing… b/c that just extends my deadline for all those things I wanted to get done before the fall. 
It’s like God was once again encouraging my procrastination… He really DOES love me! 
Speaking of love… I have been trying to walk my parents through learning how to read emails and look at facebook pictures… which means I can finally start sending them all sorts of someecards that up until now I have had to print out and pretend like they were sufficient cards like…
I got my first migraine since high school today… so I can only imagine that means I am not only falling apart I also need to stop stressing out and find my inner flow of peace and happiness.   And as Jason told me today:
And ya know what makes me the most happy?   The fact that, even though I own all of the Gilmore Girl Seasons, Jordan bought me the special boxed set so we can watch them all over again, and I can feel like a completely spoiled princess yet again… which turns out, totally helps me find my inner peace and happiness.  And right there—I also made sure that Zach and Nate, for at least a moment (and by moment I mean 7 seasons worth of gg), won’t feel homesick.   I really hope we start tonight b/c I am far too exhausted to do anything else.  After I shared prom pictures on facebook and Becky told me I looked like I gained a 100 pounds in my chest… and it was NOT the golden boobs picture, I will be on full gear work out mode from now on… so be prepared for me to be neurotic and self absorbed (yes, this IS different from the norm people.)
Oh ya—Prom—We got to spend 4 hours getting all dolled up (that’s three more than in HS), and I had more fun than both Junior and Senior Prom even though Jordan refused to let me cover myself in blood and go as Carrie (sad face). 

Monday, August 24, 2009

Makin' up for messin' up

Word on the street—and by street I mean compound b/c I so rarely actually leave to use a real street—is I better not miss two weeks in a row… so here it is in all its mediocre glory!
I kept telling myself as soon as the boys left I was going to get my act together.  This includes, but is not limited to (yes this is going to be a Bridget Jones List):
Take a Spanish Class (b/c have forgotten the 7 years of Spanish and now only remember commands that my  father and sister use and the phrase cuanto cuesta el sombrero?)
Join indoor soccer and/or volleyball team.
Find personal trainer (ideally a really hot one that also understands my sarcastic commentary to all of the hateful things I am forced to do.)
Get out of compound at least once a day (which is harder than you think.)
Make travel plans… Oktoberfest/Amsterdam, NY, Mardi Gras, Disney and Chicago are all on the list.
Go to more concerts (b/c  I heart live music.)
Do something about the fact that have been paying for XM radio for the last 4 years and have not had XM radio hooked up since I got the Saab.  Really need to put this on the top of the list, but too can’t be bothered to add additional cutting and pasting.
That’s a good start… right?  I did have unpack my boxes from NY, Clean my room, get new bedding… but I accomplished all of that this weekend… so I’m already sprinting into the new me—even though I haven’t quite worked up to the whole sprinting part of the plan.
Prom.   Shana, Cathy and Jen (HBBG!)are throwing a prom for their 30th birthday party.  I know that I love theme parties (check), dressing up (check), dancing (double check) and having fun (check.)  But I hated the whole concept of prom.  I hated it ten years ago, and while I don’t hate it now, I can’t get excited about it this weekend.  I looked all weekend at thrift stores with Luke—(he found an 8 track player and recorder, but no 8 tracks—sad face)—but was a complete failure at finding a super awesome dress to get excited about—and my “era” dress… has yet to become an era.  I know, it wasn’t yesterday, but I also saw my cousins in their prom dresses this past spring and they looked exactly like the ones we wore—so now I can add beauty=boring to my list of things that stress me out about theme parties. 
In other news, I just encouraged Rollie to eat 2 week old dirt cake (pudding/oreo combo), and then he said “That pudding made me drowsy—is that the first sign of food poisoning?”
Speaking of Rollie—we over used some, well to call them catch phrases would be pushing it, lines to the point where most people would be tired of them… but you know how I like to run things into the ground… and keep going… until they are funny again… “where problem?”
First: when hear something funny, or say something witty, you follow it up with a hand motion in the air like you are reaching out to grasp something and you say “Gottem.”  The more alcohol, the more likely this will turn into a double handed “gottem” action… not that I know from firsthand experience. 
The second is “You are fuckin’ up.”  Rollie like to put an emphasis on the UP… I like to laugh a lil before hand, slight emphasis on you and quickly roll it out… but still so awesome.  I tried to start saying “You are messin’ up” but isn’t quite the same. 
Funny story associated with this (hmm maybe I shouldn’t say funny b/c now your expectations have been raised and I’ll never be able to live up to it… but again to go back and delete is too much for me.)  I had to tell this guy who I started calling “Sailor Derek” b/c he cursed while playing Arcane Legions at Origins and then we got bad press so I had to ask Shana to tell him he couldn’t help us in the booth at Gen Con b/c he has a potty mouth.  So he shows up at Gen Con and we joke around about it, and he seems cool.  Then later as I was telling a story to Dawne, I said “That is so fucked up” and I hear Sailor Derek behind me saying “Watch your language…”   Gottem’.   Then he came after the show to help tear down the booth… and he cursed once… and we all could not stop saying “You are fuckin’ up!” over and over and OVER.  TWIST!
Ironically, I got an ear infection (like a 2 year old) and hurt my back (like an old woman) in one week… You could say I’m falling apart, but I haven’t gotten full hear back in my right ear so I probably wouldn’t hear you. 
Okay—hope that more than made up for missing last week…. Catch ya on the flip side…

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

You must be this tall to drink this ride (NEED PICS)

Hey!  How’s it going?
Right… so we always say that… it’s the polite follow up to hi! We rarely expect anything beyond “Good, how are you?” or “okay” or I’ll even accept “Not bad.”  Often, I don’t even wait for the answer if I’m at a store as so often they just launch into asking for my coffee order and ignore that I have asked a question in response to their corporate line (though it does make me feel the slightest bit fake when people respond, and I haven’t waited b/c I’m in a rush, and then I feel like a bit of an ass…we can be good people all of the time) But there was this girl at work back in the day that I had to stop asking how she was b/c she would always say eh, terrible (2 words: awk and ward.)… but never had a real reason, she was just grumpy and needed an excuse to whine.  Speaking of which… anyone wanna ask how my weekend was?
I like it so much I think I’ll work all next weekend too.. oh hello Gen Con!  While the harsh truth has been thrust upon me that I am no longer (if ever) booth babe material, I will tell you that nothing says August like cruising Indy, pimping a new product, and acting like I’m so much cooler than all the other gamers around me b/c I think I’m not “that” kind of gamer.  Though… as Jen pointed out earlier, I think men can sniff out my convention experience no matter where I am.  And no, that is NOT a good thing.  I just hope I don’t get in trouble for those double entendre fortune cookies… I mean they are boss approved (no worries there), but certainly not mom approved.  I’ll tell you was universally not always approved is the appropriateness of the costumes…

(I totally think I used this card before, but if you were as scarred by some of those not so super heroes you would want to use this too… or maybe I just sent it to Jim when I saw his rendition of a super villain…)
Jen (2 pts for ms. Clark) has already made suggestions for this years Halloween party… by my calendar we’re already late in planning… which might be a good thing as the less we plan, the less work we will ultimately have to do… seriously, I think I cut my foot Saturday (yes, and I lose my shoes at work sometimes—Tina does too!—and see, I was working on this weekend) on a remnant of that haunted house back in ’05 so I reserve the right to have creative laziness this year—is that a theme?
Right so other than that, I went to a CD release party of Sarah’s brother’s (what do you do with the ‘ if it’s multiple brother’s who possess a band?  Sharon? Sheelin? –I know, NOW I’m asking about punctuation?) and I had the CD playing in my car all weekend and then announced to Nate that I thought that I might be in love with this guy’s voice… and he tried to tell me that you can only be in love at first sight not at first listen… insert example of unattractive singer here who isn’t elvis Costello b/c I don’t think he’s a good enough example kthnxbye
Okay real quick… All summer I have been trying to keep up with 20 year olds.  It’s exhausting.  Last Thursday was the first time I didn’t drink in three weeks… and all b/c the German’s went home, and Zach and Nate’s friend’s went home early that night.  It’s like a challenge to see if I can stay up every night… as if not staying up mean’s I’m old.. when I should point out that then they sleep in until it’s the afternoon and we have to get up in the morning… so does that mean actually that we are stronger?  That’s a much better scenario than the other one…
And luke has been making mix tapes… actual tapes… with music I would have put on mix tapes when we made mix tapes…
Seeing as I have to get up in 6 hours to fly out of here and I haven’t finished packing I’m signing off… expect next Monday’s email to be late fo. Sho.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Kama Sutra Karma

Lucas told me that he went over to the new neighbors’ house the other day and he was helping unpack the books and put them on the shelves.  He reached into one of the boxes and pulled out a handy Kama Sutra guide book and quickly tried to put it on the shelf.  The book would not stay where he put it and kept falling down to which his new friend said “I guess it’s just trying to find the right position.”
When I was in college Julie got me a handy Kama Sutra book with all sorts of personalized notes throughout.  I had forgotten about the book until I saw that it was on the book shelves downstairs with all of my text books… the book shelves my father had populated.  If I had a dollar for every time Julie got me in trouble with her very hilarious presents…. I would have at least a lincoln’s worth. 
Let’s talk about Day Dates… and how they should never be first or second dates.  First, they generally don’t have alcohol, and second, I don’t know when they are supposed to end.  Then let’s talk about how I have a variation of a day date today, at 5:30, for coffee.    With a person I don’t know anything about, but he already knows that I’m crazy and neurotic (story too long to share here).   When he emailed me to say that we should maybe get to know a lil bit about each other what do you like to do for fun?  I, ignoring my mother’s advice that I should be nice said, “Oh! And I so wanted it to be weird and awkward next week.” He then responded with… “Don’t worry.  I can still make it awkward.  I can make it awkward (left eyebrow raised) allllllllllll coffee long.”  And now I have something to tell you about next week after I send him this beauty:
I watched Obama’s speech to the kiddies live on Facebook today.  Doing it that way you could post comments to people via status… so I shamelessly wrote ARCANE LEGIONS! And then Did Obama say  that Arcane Legions is being taught as a new subject in school?  And Whoa! Obama said if you play Arcane Legions you could become a doctor, lawyer, police officer, architect, professional fantasy football player, gynecologist, engineer, IT support specialist, mayor, senator, supreme court justice, and maybe even president.  That’s right…. I’m THAT guy.  Oh and here:
Hey!  Speaking of shameless promotion, in case you didn’t get a chance to google me today, here’s a terrible picture of me in a really cool magazine site:  Did I mention I worked all weekend at PAX and I got was this lousy picture? J

Monday, August 3, 2009



I forgot what I told you, I imagine not much b/c last week’s email was of the lame variety—so the headliner of this is “I thought I was too cool for twitter, but it turns out I’m not.”  I was going to say that all of my 7 followers are probably on this email—but the truth is, I don’t think any of them are.  I don’t know WHO they are, or where they came from, and they have these weird code names so now “KentuckyChrome” and “Dino_Sr” are following me… which is creepy right? Unless of course they’re super hot, and then maybe it’s just super. 


My mom called me to tell her how to set her cell phone alarm clock today.  Now, I had at one time walked her through it, explaining how incredibly SIMPLE it all was if she only followed the directions I gave her.  Today, however, after 10 minutes of trying to remember how her particular phone worked, and failing I now have MY phone set for 1:00 am to call and wake her up. 


D&J took me to this swanky party on Friday night for the express purpose of finding me a rich husband.  I appreciate the effort—but I think the only rich, heterosexual I came in contact with was Tom Skerritt—who was terrif in Picket Fences, I grant you, but isn’t quite a viable option.  I did stay on the mechanical surf board though longer than most—so that’s something. 


Then I had 7 hours of awesomesauce at the Kenny Chesney, Sugarland, Montgomery Gentry, Miranda Lambert & Lady Antebella concert with Diana, Jason and Nater—followed by an early morning jaunt to the ice caves.  Had I been awake enough to think of a camera maybe I would have something to show you… so… here I stole this from the internets.
Maybe Derek or Matty or Dawne can prove to you I was there with their own documentation of history.   Derek filmed some particularly hideous video’s with Zach’s phone so that’s something to look forward to.

See those pancakes?  Well they look EXACTLY like the very first pancakes that one of the German’s experienced this morning at Monday Morning Breakfast at IHOP.  And she agreed that they were all they were hyped up to be.  I’m a lil jealous of her first, and sad that she had to wait so long to experience the wonder that is the buttermilk pancake, and that we didn’t deliver it in the form of mickey mouse.  

Right so that fills you in on the past three days… think of all the wonder that I will have for you when I give myself a whole 7 days to fill you in.