Tuesday, May 26, 2020

You Jump, I Jump, Jack

Update 5/18 – 5/24

Hi Friend!

Whoops!  Forgot that yesterday was Monday, so this is a lil late, but you understand, right?

I colored all the Gilmore Girls sheets that Shana sent me! 

As I mentioned last week, it was Becky’s birthday, so this week I got a text from Becky saying, “Ha! So, Jared threw away the last half of my birthday cake, so I guess we're getting a divorce.”  I guess she didn’t follow Mo’s plan of multiple birthday cakes!

I was chatting with Dr. Rach last week for a good 20 minutes, without interruption.  This is surprising as it was not after bedtime, and she has three little boys.  About ten minutes after we got off the phone I got this text: “You want to know why the boys were getting along so well in their room?.... They got fudgesicles out of the freezer and were eating them in bed. I just couldn’t see it because our monitor isn’t super clear. Ha!” And then it was an impromptu lesson on how to wash your bedding!

As I was supposed to be on a road trip right now with Carla, Bailey and Kathi seeing all of the Harry Potter sites in the UK, I have decided to start reading the books again, so get ready for me to have some Mike’s and start making videos like this:

We had some nice days this week (although many were just so so) but on one particularly lovely day, I met up with Dawne and Lucas at Marymoor.  Its nice to have my favorite activity back on the option list! We also dreamed of taking a road trip with a camper and a wi-fi enabled van, though I am honestly not sure I can realistically join.  I’m still going to shop around for a sweet back of the jeep air mattress… just.. in…case.  My godson, Emmett, just chewed through his last binky and had been walking around inconsolable.  We saw a binky on the ground at the park, sent a pic to Rach.

Me: Does Emmett want this?  It’s free!
Rach: He would pick that up and chew on it without hesitation.  

We had an ab fab weekend, hung out with the fam, went to the dog park,  took a boat ride, almost finished a puzzle, did finish book one of HP, swam in the pool twice, played a new game, watched some movies, went to burgermaster (apparently Bill Gates’ favorite drive in burger place?), grilled, and saw many bald eagles who did not have any yorkie sized snacks.  On the boat ride, we saw a blue heron (multiple actually) as we drove close to shore checking out houses (that’s a normal, if not creepy, thing to do right?)  Lindsay got very excited and said that her dad has been trying to capture a blue heron on “film” for years, and has never been able to do it.  So we got real close, slowed the boat to a crawl, and then, as I saw Lindsay with the heron in the frame of the picture, I told her he was about take flight, and she kept him in frame with her finger over the button, and didn’t take the shot.  This happened multiple times.  She did get one standing, and then sent it to her dad, but clearly this is a family trait.  A couple of hours later, we were eating dinner outside when we saw an eagle in the tree next to the house.
Lindsay: Someone grab their phones!
Me: Well, not your phone!
And then moments later
Me: I got the eagle flying away – I’ll send it to you so you can send it to your dad and really wow the pants off him!

In the way back machine…

May 2018
We were in Vegas for licensing show and found ourselves in a very off the strip tiki bar for a partner party when someone ordered a big bowl of colorful booze.
Chelsea: Yes, I’d like the “I hate myself” and straws for all of my friends.

May 2017
And three years ago I was visiting Janette and Erika in San Fran. But that was so long ago I have no idea what we did or saw or said.  And I mentioned it anyway!

Oh, Lynn Shared with me this story and I thought it was super cute:

Monday, May 18, 2020

I Miss Your Face

5/11 – 5/17

Hi Friend!

First, I have to share something from today, b/c it’s hilarious.  I got this in the mail, and I’m still giggling:

We had lots of fun birthday’s last week!  Frita, Mo, Kyle, Uncle Jack, Debina, Becky to mention a few. 😊

Mo was grocery shopping when she saw a cake covered in sprinkles that contained blue and white frosting, and thought “It’ll be like eating a unicorn!,” and she decided to buy it for herself.

Patrick: What’s the cake for?
Mo: Me
Patrick: You already have a cake.
Mo: There are two of us! If you want two cakes you can have two cakes.
Patrick: You’re having three cakes!
Mo: There are multiple birthdays!
--enter Kevin---
Kevin: What’s the cake for?
Mo: Me
Kevin: You already have a cake.
Mo: There are two of us! If you want two cakes you can have two cakes.
Kevin: You’re having three cakes!
Mo: There are multiple birthdays!
Kyle: Can we have one today then?

Sean had gotten Mo this huge cast iron skillet, and they made steaks, with sides from Ruths Chris’ and then a former student, (now the mom of someone who Mo is tutoring), dropped off a bottle of wine to make the evening perfect.  When I called at the end of the evening, Mo told me that for the first time ever, she drank a whole bottle of wine on her own (I wish I could say I’ve only done that once) and then decided to try two different shots from her Nipyata (Piñata filled with booze).  When I saw Kyle in the background of the call, I told him he needed to run next door to my parents house and get the emergen-c for his mom because she had school the next day, and I love her. 

It’s been two and half months of Teams meetings without incident, so I guess I was due.  First, I thought I had muted a meeting with a partner (it was still early before all 15 people joined), so I listened to a voicemail from a cousin asking help joining the video party I was throwing for my Uncle Jack’s 80th birthday … only to realize I did not mute my mic, just shut the volume off on my speakers. (I didn’t admit it was me so I think I got away with it.) Then, less than 24 hours later, it was a round 6PM and I decided to shut my computer off, close my phone and pee.  Only, while I was peeing I heard something in the living room -  where I left my phone and computer.  I ran out to find that inexplicably I HAD CALLED A CO-WORKER, and they could definitely hear me peeing (I know because the next time I needed to pee, I tried to record it from the same spot, and it was audible.) 

Let’s see, what other fun, embarrassing stories do I have for you?  Ah, yes, I was ghosted! Mo suggested I e-meet her BFF’s brother-in-law, Pete.  He was pre-vetted, which is always nice, and after chatting with him every day for 3 weeks, I could confirm that he was genuinely a decent and amusing human – which makes for a lovely distraction during a pandemic.  That is until I was abruptly ghosted.  I’ve had some time since to remind myself that I am a joy and a delight, and not completely pathetic, which is why I am able to now say:  “There wasn’t a Tiff, it just Petered out.” *ba dum tss*

I signed Frita up for Hello Fresh for his birthday.  I thought it might be a good activity while we’re all home (and maybe better than trying to find recipes to go with the pre-existing, possibly expired, ingredients in the pantry.)  I think my mom was most dubious, but after a bit of anxiety from Frita, (and a brief bout of panic when he couldn’t open a jar of balsamic vinegar) it sounds like he was totally successful with three meals!  Win!  

On Saturday, I finally admitted I would be working from home for a while and picked up my work chair and monitor and xbox and properly set up my desk at home.  Then, I stood in the street and recorded Becky taking a swing at her Nipyata.  I also brought her the Christmas present that had been on my desk since December!  I’m including the directions for the Nipyata below because they really were hilarious.

About a week ago, I was telling the fam that I really don’t like being told what to do.  If someone asks me to do something, it is highly likely that I will say yes, but if you tell me to do something, I totally don’t want to do it.  I guess I just like people recognizing that I don’t have to do anything for you.  It’s a fine line, but imperative for me. 

Me: Hey Zach, Sooooo I am starting to read HP.  Was there a reason you wanted me to read it again? 
Zach: When we were talking about work, you said as soon as someone told you to do something you automatically hated it.  So, I was testing your hypothesis… so are you hating the books?

Ugh… Jerk tried to ruin reading and HP for me! He is so lucky it didn’t work.

I was telling some friends this on Sunday, and then we were talking about when we all moved out here, and that Dr. Rach arrived in 2005.
Me: I told you before then, though, that we were going to be best friends.  Did me telling you that make you not want to be BFF’s?
Rach: No, I liked it.
Me: So, it was more like a prophecy. 

Then I sent her this.  Which is pretty much exactly how things went down. 

Tried to go back in time, but not much happened….

May 2019
Clearly, I was going on a first date this week a year ago because this exchange happened:
Him: Not far but I’m not familiar with it.  I know of some around my area/place.  So I guess you gotta come here.
Me: Where are you thinking?  Ideally some where really public and busy in case you’re a murderer.

(I remember this exchange and the date not going well.)

May 2017

Sean picked up Kyle from practice and brought him shopping for his birthday present.  This is the text Maureen got:
Sean: Can Kyle have a hunting knife?
Mo: God NO!!
Sean: Lol

And here are my amusements from this week:

Monday, May 11, 2020

Rat Babies

Update 5/4-5/10

Hi there!

Another week of quarantine has come and gone, and my life continues to be pretty ho-hum, but I think communication is important, and check in’s even more so.  Therefore, here’s a glimpse into my little world. 

I have been officially invited to work from the comfort and safety of my home through December! Fairly certain they meant December 2020, but to be honest, I didn’t send any follow-ups. 

I tried tele-lunching with Ryan (Aka Lunchbox) the other day.  I asked him how his crow relationship was going.  He has three crows in his life who he has named George, Betty and the unnamed.  He has been doing this for quite some time so he regularly gets shiny “presents” of screws and such from his crow companions.

Lunchbox: We had a betrayal the other day.  Nik’s friend called to say they had left a surprise lunch outside for him, and when he looked, a bag of taco bell had been ripped apart and devoured.  A total betrayal!  So now we call the previously unnamed crow Judas.   They are pretty aggressive about meal time.  They will stare us down through our window while we eat breakfast.  Nik keeps asking if we can keep the blinds closed.  I feel like the relationship is going pretty well, but I’m still waiting for my BFF necklace.

My crow companions have been coming to the fence and asking for food, and they don’t fly away when I come out.  They just wait for me to put the food out, and then start munching.  Percy and the crows are very tolerant of each other, too.  I am starting to have a bit of another situation however.   It would appear that I have some baby mice (or maybe very small rats?) living under my shed (they run back and forth between the shed and then under my generator – so often that there is a little track in the grass.)  They, too, are enjoying the snacks.  This makes me more of a Cinderella than Snow White I guess?  I definitely don’t want to kill the baby mice, (I mean, any termination would likely be an uncool situation for Percy as well, and I mean, they are living outside which is technically their domain.)  However, I do not want them in the house (we all remember the Pudgy incident), so I think I’m going to have to look up ways to keep them out of the house.  Perhaps, a witches spell or magical chalk around the perimeter?  Suggestions welcome here.  I’ll try to be rational, as Mike once said to Phoebe, and “not let the rat babies ruin our lives.”

Zacharoni launched his second Kickstarter with great success, reaching his goal in 6 hours and doubling his goal in 2 days!  If you haven’t yet gotten your swashbuckle on, here’s a link:

He’s still swimming in the sea of stress and anxiety of keeping the momentum going, but we have all encouraged him to take a moment and breath this joy in, while he can.  He said he’ll enjoy it when it’s all over.  I took that as a personal challenge to annoyingly remind him to be positive every chance I get.  On a side note, he has taken to not responding to my calls and texts.  Oddly enough, that started happening before my personal crusade of positivity started! He must have a sixth sense about these things.

We all took a caravan trip to the drive through of Dairy Queen, when Jordan gave a Kickstarter update that too me seemed very exciting and without skipping a beat, Zach said, ugh oh man, that reminds me we have to…  Dawne stopped him to say, “Hey Zach.  Can you take a moment to realize you have a highly successful kickstarter, you’re sitting in a Tesla, eating Dairy Queen, next to a beautiful and caring woman?”  Glad Dawne’s on my team on this one!

We also looked through old photos searching for an old photo of baby Zach at a gaming convention.  I found one of baby Zach at Battletech booth, seemingly selling product.  He looked very professional.  We also found an abundance of photos of little Mucas Lucas in all sorts of fun outfits.   I showed him this one of him rocking out on rollerskates and he said, “If I still fit into that shirt, I would wear it right now.”

Bailey officially graduated from the University of Miami this weekend!  We are beyond proud of her.  The fam social distance celebrated over the weekend, and I got a call later in the night from Bails.

Bails: I saw Grandma drink something other than Seagram’s and Seltzer!
Me: What did she drink?
Bails: Dom Perignon!
Me: She also sometimes drinks an ice cold beer with Pizza.
Bails: That’s what my dad said!
Me: And a Rusty Nail (equal parts dambuie and scotch) on very special occasions at a restaurant.
Bails: That’s what my dad said!

We (rusty) NAILed that!

Just as I was sitting there getting gorgeous graduation pics of Bailey, I also was looking at Dawne Graduation pics.  I think it’s fun to see them at the same age, in the same outfit!  When I sent them to the fam I got this response:

Mo’s Cell: I gave those hugs before my drinking days!
Momela: You always gave great hugs!

I was pretty cranky earlier in the week, and therefore I started sending presents and notes out to cheer myself up.  (I’m such a weirdo.)  The first person to receive her gift of “Strange Planet” was Becky who now completely replaced the term kissing with “mouth pushing.”

My first birthday present arrived today! #doyouhaveyourorderplacedyet #youarelosingtime #doireallyneedtoremindyouwhatdayitis
Jared: Now I can't give you your first present.
Me: I'm sorry you're second place in my birthday.
Jared: You're present is sitting right there!
Me: Nope. You wouldn't let me open it, and now you're second place. Get your act together.
Tiffany is winning my birthday!!! 

I took most of Friday off because it was like 85 degrees and sunny, and I convinced Dawne she should do the same, AND the parks opened in WA, so the timing couldn’t have been better. We went to a park I have never been to (a small neighborhood park to avoid the crowds / maintain distances) and as we were walking we saw Joey and Pooh!  My squeal of delight could be heard loud and clear even from a distance.  For three days we did varying combos of boat, pool, eating, gaming for just about the most perfect mini vacay at home ever. Well, maybe would have been perfect if Percy hadn’t still been vomiting, but had plenty of energy for the pool, so I don’t know what to do about him.  (I even did a lil social distancing walk with Becky on Sunday (I won’t tell you where because I don’t want anyone to find out about it.)

Here’s something adorable from last year on mother’s day.

And here are my funny things I saw on the internet this week:

Monday, May 4, 2020

I Will

4/27 – 5/3

On Tuesday, I had to suddenly turn my camera off during a meeting so I could run Percy outside before he started getting sick.. and sick.. and sick for 45 minutes.  I tried to rinse him off before jumping in the car to the vet (yes, it was that bad.)  At the vet, you basically wait in the car and then they call you with updates so the doctor calls me to say, “You’re girl is doing great.  She’s real pretty.  I had a little trouble finding her ears under all this fur, oh wait, she’s a boy!” Off to a great start, they pumped him full of drugs and sent me home with a bag of meds.  It’s a week later, and he’s still not really himself, but hoping when he’s off the meds he’ll get his appetite back.  Definitely falls under the category of the “Wrong kind of excitement.”

Becky hit her own personal wall earlier in the week, and took a personal day – part of which she spent by coming over and sitting in the parking lot chatting with me at a safe distance.  I told her how I’ve been hoarding Mike’s Hard Lemonade and Gin & Tonic.  She told me I sounded like I was confused on whether or not I was a 19 year old kid or a 90 year old.  #accurate.

Back to the subject of dating during these crazy times, Becky and I decided what the world needs are some good pick-up lines on top of strategies like, ”Whoops!  I spilled my beer on your hand!” before holding hands.  It was a group effort, but we have these for you: "Did you just take my breath away, or is that Covid 19 in my lungs?" and "If Covid 19 doesn't take you out, can I?" 

Friday, I decided/was highly encouraged to create a will.  Later in the day, I was talking to Bailey when I heard her mom in the background and asked to speak with Stacey.

Me: You’ve had to deal with wills lately. Do you have to tell someone beforehand that you’ve put them down as your person in your will, or do you just wait for when you die and let it be a surprise that they will have a lot of work to do?
Stacey: You don’t have to, but generally people give a heads up, especially if there are kids involved.
Me: Hmmm, okay… Can I talk to Sean, then?

I told Maureen that she’s getting my car.
Momela: Did you specify which car?
Me: Nope just “car.”
Patrick: You’re going to just end up with a driveway full of 20 year old cars from when people die. 
Me: I sure hope she doesn’t get it for at least another 20 years!

So, I have been FaceTiming with the NY fam a lot and on Friday, I was like a fly on the wall while they played Canasta.  Earlier in the week, I got groceries delivered, and once again I was completely surprised by what arrived – including Past Me thinking that I had the energy and inclination to make some stir fry (I also had a lime delivery, so maybe I was drunk when I filled my digital cart?) Either way, I managed to cook stir fry while chatting, and I stopped to show how convenient it was that I didn’t have to cook the rice, and that the red, green and yellow peppers were already finely cut for me.  My mother’s only comment was that I would not wear poverty well.  #accurate.

By the time Saturday rolled around, I was getting pretty stressed that Percy hadn’t eaten in so long, so I brought Percy over to Dawne’s to see if he might be enticed to eat if Nala was around.  (Dawne sat down to hand feed them, and tried to be really encouraging, to which Percy responded by coming up to her, kissing her nose and then walked a couple of feet away and sat down to look at her as if to say, “I really love you, but I’m not into eating right now.”  (Eventually, with some meds, Dawne got him to eat, so yay!)

Me: What are you doing today?
Dawne: I really want to be happy.
Me: Maybe we should lower your expectations.

I brought over a puzzle and a game in an effort to help in the effort.  We had lunch, then sat down to try to do some craft melty beads (I don’t know what they are called, and started the puzzle.)

Jordan: I’m just saying, technically, female dogs are called bitches
Dawne: I’m just saying, stop saying mean things about my dog.
Lucas: Technically divorced men are called…
Jordan: …Rarely

After Jordan, repeatedly tried to yell at Alexa to get her to play a specific radio station…
Lucas: I have never been less confident about androids taking over the world.

The puzzle was seriously awful.   It was a 3D lenticular. None of the pieces actual fit together, the picture changed so you couldn’t tell what was on the piece or if it matched, and you had to tape them together.  Jordan gave up doing the edges about 20 min in, and even when we got to a point where there were three pieces left, neither of us cared enough to finish.  And when we did finish, it still looked terrible.  I’m fairly certain that my mom was getting back at me for the mini-puzzle I got her – and we did, for half a second – thought about wrapping it up for Christmas next year.

Dawne: I’m going to turn the lights off, I think that’s the only way we’re going to get a good picture.
Dawne: This is the worst puzzle we have ever done.  Ever. ever. ever.
Me: Glad I could make you happy!
Lucas: Remember when you came in saying you had all these things to make her happy?
Me: That was a different time.
Dawne: I always keep puzzles, but this one…
Me: yeah, let’s throw it in the trash as soon as possible.

And we all helped Lucas try to build this cool album cover with the melty beads, which also took hours and hours.  And when he went to iron it to melt the beads, it was a disaster.  It was too big, and the design warped and fell apart, refused to melt together properly. 

Lucas: Have you ever had a less rewarding day?

It should be noted that I thought all of it was hilarious, and honestly the day was better than most.  When I got home, as I was walking to my door and pulling out my keys, it had been so long since I left and locked my door that I had to think really hard because … I had actually forgotten which key opens my house.

Sunday was pretty chill.  I didn’t do anything productive, and that was nice – although I did get up at 7 am, like a maniac.  And the day ended with Dr. Rach calling and we lolled real hard. 

Not a super crazy week, even if I jump through  time for the last two years – but it is the anniversary of the disappointing box of broken glass I got, when I thought I was getting a super cool Quidditch piece from someone on Etsy.  Luckily, this DIY home project was much more rewarding than this past weekend.  Before and after shots of one of my favorite HP wall accessories… https://photos.app.goo.gl/Xib2ZeYrsa4nMVmR9

And finally here are some things I found funny this week!