Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Mimosas with Mama

Update 11/9 - 11/15

I was over at Zach's to play some games. (Mind you all of the games we're designed by Zach.  When we were done with three of them, I naturally gave him a hard time about not having designed more games to play.)

Tristan: I broke a bowl this morning.
Me: How?
Tristan: I was just holding it and I guess I held it too hard because it broke.
Me: Are you superman?

I asked Zach if he wanted to take Percy for a couple of days a week until I move offices because Percy's daycare adds 45 minutes each way to my commute.
Zach: I'm still getting the vomit out of my car from the last time.  To be fair, he tried to get on my coat.

Me: I got ID'ed today at the grocery store!
Zach: Remember when grandpa got ID'd and the guy behind him in line said, "I don't even know that guy and I'll vouch for him."

Also, when Zach was around 15 or 16, Matty, Kathi and I went to the grocery store and we picked up a 6 pack of beer.  The woman at the store refused to sell it to us, because we had Zach with us.  I was so angry.  Even though it would have been physically impossible, I started saying, "Really? What if he was my son? Do you not allow parents to buy alcohol because didn't abandon their toddles in the car, too!?" Yeah, I left sans alcohol that day, but I will never forget. 

I was talking to my dad the other day and we were talking about pedestrians and cars. 
Frita: Or as my mother would say, "What is an old person doing crossing the road?"
Ah, I miss Nana. :)

I'm trying to get used to having a kitchen table... but the jury is still out.

I went over to Kelly's on Friday and Maggie came out with her new pup.  Percy was kind of a pretentious jerk.  It was almost as if he knew that the other pups wanted to play with so he was playing hard to get.   Later, Kelly brought out the treats to show off Piper's new trick (she can keep a treat on her nose until she is told it's okay to eat.)  Now, normally, Percy turns his nose up at anything Kelly offers, but this time he totally took the treat.

Me: Hey! You didn't make him do a trick!
Kelly: Nope.  Here's a treat for eating a treat.

The following day I met Kelly and Maggie at the park, and then later that evening we went for dinner and drinks.   Kelly's friend Tony just moved into town and his friend had told him about this great friend and shared his contact info.  Naturally, he texted him when he arrived.  He conversation went like this:

Tony: I hear that you'd help with a body
Friend: Sorry that isn't a service I provide
Tony: My bad

Okay, so maybe I should have mentioned that there was no preamble and the guy didn't have Tony's contact info saved in his phone. 

Then we went to the Sunset for drinks.
Tony: If I woke up here every Saturday I wouldn't be upset about it.

Plus the tables were fun.

 The following morning, we went to the Unicorn for Mimosas with Mama.  I was a little chilly when I got there so Kelly gave me her hat.

Kelly: So hipster.
Me: Finally after 12 years
Mama Tits: Omigod omigod I love your hat I love your hat I love your hat
Kelly: I knew you'd fit in.

Maggie: I only say yolo when it refers to something that is going into my mouth.

Mama to Tony: I didn't see you back here mother*cker.

Mama also gave this beautiful speech in the morning (the night before was the tragedy in France) and I just thought it was really sweet and involuntarily I started tearing up.
Tony: Are you okay?
Me: I think I'm going to cry!

Kelly: We need to make this a quarterly event!

Then after that I had to run home so I could meet Becky for round two of fun.  We headed to Purple and got a flight of wine and a delicious dinner.  When Becky went to order another drink, and it was a little pricey, the waiter wanted to make sure she knew how pricey it was.

Becky: That's fine.
Waiter: Okay heiress.
Becky: Trophy Wife actually.
Waiter: I applied for that once but I didn't get it.

Sometimes Becky actually writes down "Trophy Wife" when forms ask for profession.  Then she waits and when the person doesn't laugh she says, "Ha! You didn't read it!"

We wrapped up the week with an awesome evening of David Sedaris where I laughed so hard it hurt - the best kind of hurt. 

Musical Couches

Update 11/2 – 11/8

I spent a lot of time this week unpacking and nesting.  I am realizing that I am incredibly bad at mopping.  Dr. Rach actually thinks what I’m really bad at is sweeping, but either way, keeping my pretty tile clean is a challenge.  I always watched a bunch of TV on my big screen because I could. 

I forgot to include this pic from last week.  We decided to have a group photo at the launch, but then this one guy jumped in and literally pushed Oliver and I out of the pic – and now I’ll always remember how I was on the outskirts of this great team photo. 

On Thursday night I randomly decided to move all of my furniture around 12 times and then left it where it was because I was too exhausted to move it.  I was like Maureen on prednisone.  Here are some of the variations.

I haven’t bought a kitchen table yet.  I know I should because it’s totally something people have in their homes.  I just can’t decide what I want or where to put it.   I invited my friends over for a brunch on Saturday, but I didn’t necessarily want to rush getting a table.  I went back and forth about it, and finally was like, “Meh. I don’t need a table.”  But then, after midnight as I was lying in bed I panicked and ended up ordering a folding table on Prime now and it arrived at 8 am the next morning.  I put a table cloth on that baby and we were ready for brunch!

I also made one of those recipes from facebook.  You know, the ones that are like super easy recipe! That you look at and you’re like I’ll totally do that and then you never do? Well, I defied tradition and made these tiny quiches that were yum.  I had a super great time with friends, asked them to help me move more furniture, and stuffed my face with food.  It was perfect.  That evening, Matty came over and we got to catch up.  He tried one of those deprivation tanks where you float in salt water in a pod of darkness and just enjoy your own company free of distractions.  Only, he kept floating into the wall and also got a little claustrophobic and opened the pod, and generally didn’t enjoy it.  But he has 4 more passes to go, so maybe the next time will be better.  J

On Sunday, I went to the dog park and did some chores and probably marathoned Newsroom.  Not that exciting, but I did unpack some pictures including this note that I framed from my dad.  It was given to me with one of Frita’s special Christmas gifts, and it made me smile.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Fish & Ship

Update 10/26 - 11/1

If you'll remember, when last I left you in the story, I was flying to Seattle with 3 hours of sleep after a ridiculously packed weekend of awesome and fun. I went straight to work for even more excitement: AKA LAUNCH DAY!!  Champagne, levity, and cheer was all around me.  There was also a launch party happening, which I managed to volunteer at.  The late shift.  Refereeing the BoomCo arena.  Even more fun, I was also MCing the event, with zero prep time.  Luckily, my co-worker told me I could listen to him do it once and then I'd be good to go!  Actually, it went really well and everyone had a blast (and the puns continue!)

The following day, I felt like I was hella hungover with the drinking part.  I barely made it to through the work day before I hurried home and went to sleep.  On Wednesday, I realized that Elizabeth went back home and I needed to run over to the brown house and collect my new roommates for the next 6 months: the fish.  I ran to the pet store to get a smaller tank, but the guy at the store was pretty aggressive and over a hundred dollars later I had all the fixings for real live pets! 

Store guy:  You're going to love having fish.
Me: Will I?

Not liking anything from the sea, I was a little apprehensive about making the transfer, but they managed to make it back to my place safely and only enough water spilled in my car to make it smell weird. Seriously, though, I think the fish are pretty spunky and happy - and I can say that because I'm a month late with this update.

I know it's pretty late in the year, but look at these roses that popped up in my yard!

Once again Uber offered a day of kitten deliveries, and once again Adrien and I were severely disappointed.

On Saturday, I helped my friend work on his resume.
T: Where haven't you worked.
C: Somewhere respectable.

On Friday, I went out with Becky and her little brother Aaron in Ballard.  After dinner, we went to pin some balls.  Becky told me that she was officially a Good Samaritan.  When I asked what tipped her over the edge, she told me that she was walking in the parking lot she saw someone who had written a nasty not about parking like an ass.   And this is where the GS comes in, Becky removed the note. 

Becky: I want a new ring!
Jared: You just got a new ring!
Becky: No, I want a ring that means something. Not this meaningless thing filled full of diamonds!

On Saturday, Zach helped me get my brand new TV back to my place.  I went with the 65" and when we set it up, Zach said, "I don't know, it seems small."  And then needed to sit on the floor to set up my TV because he couldn't see it from my couch. 

I didn't do much for Halloween, well except I dressed Percy up because I can. 

And here's another dog dressed up, because heh.

Monday, November 23, 2015

A Wheel Good Time

Monday, Fun Day.  Is that saying?  Well, I didn't mean it any way.  I invited my HOA over to my new place so we could talk.  Then I went to the bakery and asked them to put enough good vibes that whoever ate them wouldn't want to sue me.  The baker laughed, and then I said, no seriously.  So she worked some magic (or pretended to for my benefit.)  Then I went home and waited for my visitors.  Long story short, the arrived, ignored my presence, spoke among themselves, about me and my home as I wasn't there and then made a proclamation and left.  No one ate my cookies.

Then I went to work for 2 1/2 more days before flying to Dawne's in Long Beach for a super fun Halloween themed weekend!  Lucas volunteered to pick me up which was really nice of him, even kinder when it ended up taking him longer to pick me up than it did for me to fly there.  Rough.  So I rewarded him by buying him some Taco Bell.   Then we reunited all the pups and they were sooo excited! So we all basked in the glory of being together and watched a documentary about John Denver. We tapped off the evening by a late night chat as we had a sleepover followed by falling asleep to sounds of the ocean crashing. 

We woke up the next morning, took the pups for a walk and had breakfast at the cafĂ© that Dawne call's "Her Kitchen." Oh, and here are plates that down for her apartment, I guess to look at… but super cool Haunted Mansion Disney Plates!

Then we did some tricks with the pups in the park with bacon before heading back so that Dawne could go to the doctor and make sure she isn't dying (that's basically why she goes to all doctors.) Meanwhile, Luke and I watched a documentary about Keith Richards. We decided to get out a bit after that to walk the pups, which is where Dawne met us and then we went to do beach and walked some more there. 

Dawne: Your dad just came up with the most awesome idea.
Me: My dad? That's great. Why didn't he just call me?

The great idea was staying at Disney that this swanky suite on Saturday night, waking up at the park and going to Disney. Yes, please!  But first, we needed to drop off the pups at day care, and pick up Zach and Nater at the airport.  We were going to meet at Disney and then go to Mickey's Halloween Party, but we didn't have tickets to the party, so we just ate dinner at downtown Disney and headed over to Knotts Scary Farm.  We had a lovely dinner together in which all of the discussion was around religion and politics - my absolute favorite!

Lucas: Sometimes you beat the burrito, sometimes the burrito beats you.

Lucas: I got in!
Zach: Great, you got into the school that never lets you out.
(I think 6 years is the average duration actually, so they do let you out... eventually.) 

Zach: If you think about it, trick or treat is teaching our children the mafia mentality.

So we go to Knotts Scary Farm, and went through the scary mazes, and Dawne, Lucas and I screamed as loud as we could all the way through the maze and Nater laughed harder than I have ever heard him laugh - at us.  Part of my was annoyed, but the other part was so happy to see him filled with such joy. 

There was a father and daughter ahead of us and the daughter was giving her Dad a hard time about not knowing enough about teasing and unteasing your hair. 
Lucas: To untease your hair, you just apologize a lot.

Me: Snoopy must be a licensor for this park because there are Peanuts everywhere.
Lucas: Yeah, and I'm allergic.

At the end of the night we decided to get a drink, and opted for "Purple Drink."
Lucas: I'm surprised there isn't more Jam themed things.
Me: Why?
Lucas: Knots berry farm

I think I thought this was hilarious because it was 1:30 in the morning.  Boy am I thankful that Nater was willing to drive us home. 

The next morning, we went back to "Dawne's Kitchen" for breakfast and afterwards took another lovely walk on the beach and Jordan's cousins stopped by for a visit.  We had to skedaddle before we knew it.  We were going to stop at Walgreens to grab snacks before heading out for a day of sailing.  In order to all fit into the car, Dawne had to sit on Luke's lap.

Dawne: Okay, when we get there, everyone grab something you like.
Me: Wheel good fun, get it like real good fun?
Nater: You know how I feel about puns? Real good puns are great but bad puns are also great.
Lucas: I know it's not appropriate to say, but mom you make we weak in the knees (sitting on his lap).  Actually, we should all grab something we don't like and maybe it'll be something someone else will like.

There was a guy on the sailboat that made puzzles.
Dawne: Is 1000 a lot for a puzzle?
Zach: The lowest is 500, second lowest is 1000 for adult puzzles... Yeah I used to work for a store that sold puzzles.

Nater: What is the difference between a war ship and a battleship?
Me: One is actively engaged in war...
Lucas: And the other is a board game.

We had dinner after the seriously awesome day on the water and then it was time for Nater, Dawne and I to go the Queen Mary and be scared all over again!  This is when we really should have splurged for the fast pass because there were really long lines.  I don't know if you've ever been, but the Queen Mary brings scary haunted to the next level because it is actually haunted. 

We walked out of there around 1:45am so we got back to the apartment a little after 2, and Disney at around 2:30.  I'm not going to lie, I was sleepy, and a cranky which was unfortunate because we were at the most magical place on earth and I was all whining and pointing saying, "I wiiish I could appreciate all of these awesome things!"  When we got the suite Nater rang the doorbell and giggled.  I got to the door and said, "Nater! It's 2:30 in the morning! You're going to wake everyone up!" But then I rang it anyway, and it sang, "Yo ho, yo ho! A pirates life for me!" and I giggled.  And so Dawne rang it again and we were all in fit of giggles.  The other 3 times were just cuz. The kicker is the suite was so big, that we ended up having to call Jordan because he couldn't hear the doorbell.  

The next morning, I asked Zach what time it was, and he said it was 10, so I got up immediately and got ready for a day of fun.  We ordered breakfast, which took a little longer than expected.  I also found out that Zach totally lied to me and said it was later than it was so that I would get up, isn't he adorable!?

We got a couple of great hours in at the park, and it was all decorated for Halloween and we all laughed and enjoyed the moment. While waiting on the Haunted House line...

Lucas: Do you know what this instrument is?
Us: We named every instrument we knew.
Lucas: Nope! It's a Celeste.
Us: How do you know that!?

My Fam, too cool to pose for a picture.

Lucas: One might say it was Dawne - ting
Nater: This has been a lot of pun in one weekend.

The great news is the Matterhorn was open! The gross news was that Lucas was lost his camera on the Matterhorn. 

The boys stayed at the park and Dawne and I went to pick up the pups.  We dropped them off the apartment and ran over to meet Elan and his lady friend at Universal.  We had dinner at Bucca di Beppos, where I saw a little kid while we were waiting for a table.  He said, "Hey! I play Halo.  Only Reach though." And I swear if he had a mic, he would have dropped it and walked away.  On the wall there was a cake on the wall.

Elan: I'll give you a nickel if you eat the cake.
Lucas: I'll do it for 100 times that.
Elan: 5 dollars it is.

And he did, and I taped it.  

If I thought Knotts and the Queen Mary were scary, that was nothing compared to Universal.  When we walked in, we were chased buy guys with chainsaws.  I felt something on my face, it was probably water, but in the moment I said, "SOMEONE JUST THREW ACID IN MY FACE!"

Lucas: Your attire is going to make it easy to spook the spooks.
Me: This has to be a the safe area.
Lucas: Definitely, no ghosts.
Me: I mean we're near a cop car in the Simpsons.

We went on the Mummy, which I love.  There was a "Child Switch" and Lucas asked, "Do you think my parents will swap me?" Then followed the group down a path.

Me: This is sketch. Were just going to get on the tram without knowing where it goes?

Everyone ignored me, and we went on the tram anyway.  Then we went on these scary mazes, after being chased by more scary things.  I don't even like to watch Walking Dead never mind getting to be on the set! Oh, and did I mention that Elan likes to walk slowly through the mazes so he can really experience every moment?  I was so freaked out by the third maze, I called it quits and took Lucas to the Simpson's ride and got a really gigantic donut. 
Me: How do we get to the Minions ride without getting scared.
Lady: Yeah, that's not possible. 
Me: Okay what's the fastest way to get there.

Then we ran through something called "CorpZ" It was getting close to midnight and I had to get up at 5 am, so we all decided to do one more thing.  Instead of doing a something terrifying, Lucas and I went on the Jurassic Park ride.  Before getting on, Luke asked if I wanted to get a poncho, and I said, "No.  We are just going to be wet and miserable for the next three hours." But we were fine, and before long I was thanking Nater for the third night in a row for driving me home super late. 

Seriously, I don't think anyone has ever tried to fit as much fun into three days - Halloween hilarity at its finest!  But next year there will be even more fun!


Sunday, November 22, 2015

If only I had a world map...

I came home on Monday, went directly to work from the airport, hiding Percy as best I could.  After work, I ran back to the brown house to pick up a couple of things that I had left there (which is also when Percy noticed that Casper & Nala were gone.) Then I packed and spent my very first night at my new home.  I was so excited about making my first cup of coffee and enjoying it while Percy played in his hard.  That's when I realized I bought decaf instead of regular and said forget this and went to Starbucks.  I dropped Percy off with Zach, went to work for a couple of hours and then left for Mexico City.

(That’s Percy, on my first Ship Award… for Windows 10, ha ha! And bottles of wine that have been there since last Christmas…)

I think the turmoil of all the above events paired with the fact that I left Percy for a couple of days the week before left my pup in turmoil.  At least that's my explanation for why he had an accident on Zach's floor moments after I dropped him off and then again moments after he walked into his office with them.  He also apparently vomited, a lot, on quote "everything Zach owned."  I thought that might actually be a good sign because that meant he was eating, but Zach said that was not the case and he had no idea how he was throwing up with nothing in his stomach.

So, Mexico City.  I got down there and saw a sign for our game and immediately, and ignorantly said, "Hey look! Halo Cinco Guardians!"  Oh! Guess what, people down there actually told me that my accent was excellent. Mind you, I only said the things I knew I could say without embarrassing myself, but still, I was feeling muy muy bien. 

We were in traffic at one point, and there were lots of people walking around selling things in between the cars.  Now, I totally understand chips and drinks, but one guy was selling world maps.  Not atlases, world maps.  I can't even think of many reasons outside of a classroom setting that someone would want to buy a world map.  Now imagine sitting in a car, in traffic, and you're all, "I wish I was anywhere but here... but where would I really want to be, though? If only I had a world map..." and then BAM! There's that guy, at your service. 

So we spent on day doing store checks, and it was pretty fun, not going to lie.  My absolute favorite moment though, was when I saw Chief and Locke action figures and these three little girls around 8-9-11 grabbed the Halo action figures and proceeded to jump up and down giggling before the ran down the aisle to find out how much they were.  Awesome.

Me: So, do red stop lights mean something else here?
Silvia: What do you mean?
Me: Well you, and everyone else on this street drove through that red light.
Silvia: No, that one, no it doesn't make sense.
Me: So everyone collectively has decided to ignore that one?
Silvia: Yes.
Me: So you're saying they are more like... guidelines. 

I mentioned the story later at dinner, and someone else responded with, "Oh yeah, I have three of those on my way to work."

James: Does anyone have gum?
Joe: I have gum, but it's loose in my pocket.
James: So, pocket gum.
Joe: Yes - so do you want some?

James, at the airport, when a store opened: "Oh sh*t! I need to to get something from La Martina now that they're open!
(Maybe I only thought that was funny because it was like 5 am...)

Remember when Zach had that friend in college who did that awesome Disney youtube video? Nick Pitera?  Well, I totally heard him on the radio on my way home from the airport. 

That weekend, I spent settling in.   So, let me just show you this picture of Mo, wearing a costume that I own.