Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Lucky You!

Hello.  My name is Tiffany O’Brien.  And I bought jeans at Costco.  I did not try them on.  They are boy jeans--thus the sizes were all irrelevant to me.  $36. Lucky Jeans.  They are so comfortable they feel like sweat pants… so what if the fly doesn’t stay up, minor.  Could even be sold as a feature b/c then you can see that awesome “Lucky You!” I guess you get what you paid for. 
Jordan keeps telling me I need friends.  He throws it into every conversation he gets the chance.  I was getting stressed out about all the TV that I need to watch on Thursday and trying to figure out how I was going to get it all in using the technology I have available and instead of understanding my television crisis
he just said “Ya know this wouldn’t be a problem if you got some new friends.”  Indignant, I reviewed how often I used my car last week.  I am two steps from turning into the freakin’ Yes Woman over here.  I think part of the issue is Jordan doesn’t consider family outings as social.  So last weeks Sounders game and fair activities are completely discounted.  Not sure where Diana and Matty fall on the “social” or “Family” scale.  See, I label them as “Friends,” granted very close ones, but still friends.  Plus,  I think just getting out of the house is an accomplishment, but since Diana and Matty are related to people who are related to me…   maybe he doesn’t count that either?  I sure hope I don’t actually have to get new friends b/c that is sooooooooooooooooooo hard.  I have to go back to being NICE and INTERESTING and I soooooooo prefer acting like myself.
Speaking of being social… b/c I didn’t go to see Pearl Jam, I went shopping with Diana and got a bunch of cool clothes from her store.  It was totally after hours (wait, that’s not social, that’s more like the markings of agoraphobia, however, the dinner with friends after was social) so I felt like I had my own personal shopper, but BETTER b/c it’s Diana, the queen of cool.  I was telling Rollie how I totally spent lots in the last week… and when he asked on what, I was like oh, I don’t know… clothes, presents, and I went to bet on the ponies on Friday.  I don’t know why all race tracks feel like they are from the 70’s, kinda like bowling alleys remind me of the 80’s, and shorts over pants remind me of the 90’s.  We bet on all the races—I won the first two races and then nothing for the rest of the time so I lost BIG—SIX whole dollars. 
Saturday Rach, Janette and I went to see some Flamenco dancers.  My new quest is to learn synchronized clapping.  Apparently the woman gives lessons which I must take b/c it might just be the only sport that I can excel in. 
I also spent 48 hours, going to around 25 stores, looking for the perfect way to be a hungry hungry hippo, and then when I was feeling less and less satisfied, and I’ll admit, it got too hard… I did what anyone would do in my position:  I quit.  On to plan B.
An imperative matter arose this morning that needed to be addressed immediately.  I emphatically explained to Rollie that it is totally logical for donut shops to close at 2pm b/c the majority of donut sales happen in the morning.  You might eat donuts later in the day, but you buy them in the morning when they are fresh.  Other breakfast foods, like waffles, are eaten (in restaurants) all day long b/c you generally eat them right off the griddle and sit down to eat rather than taking them to go.  As I said, this discussion lasted for quite some time, with “intense” opposition.   5 hours later, Shana sees me begin to argue and says “You are very argumentative today-- first the’ what is better Donuts or Waffles’….” T O’B: “Ugh! That isn’t at ALL what the argument was about!” Shana: “Whatever, all I heard was Donuts! Waffles!”  I don’t understand.  I thought what mattered to me mattered to everyone.  Isn’t that what these emails are about?
I will never understand the need to lock bathrooms.  I don’t mean from within, I mean, where’s the damn key for the bathroom, Ich Muss Mal! I had to baby-sit the web developers last week (as in I had to sit across from them saying “Did you fix this?  Why does this look like this?  This isn’t fixed yet.”  Yea they loved me.  Actually, sarcasm aside I think from the cookies they gave me, they did enjoy having someone who wasn’t dead quiet—or they thought that would butter me up-- definitely one of those. )  POINT of the story: I needed 4 different keys and 6 doors in order to get to the bathroom.  If I ever needed a reason to hold it, now I have it. 
And in honor of the many runs to Starbucks I benefited from b/c Dawne said she would fast as long as Latte’s were acceptable…

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