Monday, April 26, 2010

I'm a Dreamer

Roy called me yesterday.  He’s such a funny boy.  I told him that I tried Vegan, Bacon, Brownies and he said “There are 13 different things wrong with that.”  At one point in the conversation I said “I honestly don’t think that I have anything else of any interest to say.” His response? “That’s okay.  I’ll wait until you think of something.” 
We were at CPK when I saw a Father/Son duo wearing matching school sweatshirts that read “Eastside Catholic: Home of the Crusaders.”  This is not a joke people.
So this guy on Match winked at me... and when I read his profile I saw that the 5th word was "Confindent."  I don't know what possessed me but I sent him an email saying: 
I don't want to tell you what to do b/c that would be a TERRIBLE first impression.... but I will say that I am confident that you spelled something incorrectly in the first sentence of your profile. I would hate for ladies to not say hello to you due entirely to a typo. And we would, b/c we are that judgmental. True Fact. 
His response was: 
Sometimes it’s just not worth it to be helpful.
On the Matching news front, Laina found a guy in one of those suspender/wrestling/spandex get ups lying on some rocks.  While humorous in and of itself, Laina proceeded to make me want to pee myself when she told me that she had met Danny Bonaduce walking (not riding) a bike along the beach in a similar outfit only sporting a looser white T-shirt underneath.  Danny proceeded to approach Laina and her friend—essentially trolling for fans. 
I was on the phone with Mo this weekend while she was down at the lake.  Her boys had picked up some feathers off the ground.  Mo paused in the conversation to tell her children “Stick them in the fence to show their friends what we do to geese.” 
Yesterday we were discussing what constitutes as “exercise.”  Elan pointed out that some national health group announced that playing the drums on Rock Band is considered to satisfy the daily exercise requirement.  Luke readily replied, “Ya. When I play the drums my butt sweats.”  Ah, the true indicator of a good workout. 
Due to the fact that I’m not cool enough to know where the hotspots are, Elan had to tell me that there is a cool restaurant in Fremont called Elemental.  Apparently they are super snobby, often telling people that there won’t be any seats until 9 and even if you come back at 9 there probably won’t be room for you then either.  The wife of the owner of Elemental proceeded to open her own place next door called “Elemental without the Attitude.”  They use the same kitchen, but are nice and warm to their customers.  I thought if the couple was divorced we were looking at the makings of a super terrific TV pilot.
I have been having the most vivid dreams lately.  In one, I got married to a complete stranger while we were all at a soccer game and then every friend and family member of mine went on a major camping/sleepover at our old neighbor’s house.  I was surprised to find that I was okay with a quick wedding and telling people later.  When my mother questioned me I came back with “Grandma and Grandpa got married after a week in a courthouse.”  Even dream Tiffany is a smart mouth.  The most awkward moment was that I wanted to tell Shana and my other friends that I had married that guy sitting on the couch without the guy/my husband hearing me.  Ya I know. THAT was the most awkward part.  I also woke up at 6 am yesterday knowing that my friend was absolutely pregnant and moving and had to text them right away.   I’m sure they loved getting that helpful information. 
In other news… I think Starbucks might have gotten my suggestion letter:
I hit up the HopScotch Festival this weekend—and do you know there wasn’t a single person playing HopScotch?  Major oversight if you ask me.  I mean what could be funnier than a bunch of people drunk on Beer and Scotch trying to hop around and after accurately tossing tiny stones onto a bunch of squares made of chalk?   My mother mentioned this would be a fabulous addition to my Aunt and Uncle’s fancy 50th anniversary party.  It would be both classy AND entertaining. 
I was at the grocery store when they were asking me about bags and I said to the clerk, “I guess since it’s Earth Day, I don’t need a bag.  But you can be sure that I will need one when I come back tomorrow.” 
Yesterday, my friend ran into his cousin’s nephew and brother in law (who he had celebrated many a holiday in the past) and said “Hi! How are you?” Father looked at son and said “Who was that guy?” and walked away. 

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