I had a dream last week that I
got married. I discovered after the
wedding that my husband was pretty wealthy.
We arrived at his home, which I had never been to, and it was covered in
toys. Not just collectible toys, but
bins of legos and action figures in the kitchen cabinets, and everywhere. The kitchen table was the PeeWee Herman chair
reclined so you could eat off of it.
Dawne: How did you tell him to
get rid of the toys?
Me: I didn’t. I very lovingly, and supportively, told him
that obviously these toys were important to him and as long as I could fit my
things in the house that was fine. With
the stipulation that when we had kids, we might have to make room for their
toys.
Jordan: Man, this guy sounds
AWESOME. You should totally marry him in
real life.
When I told Kathi about the
dream she said, “I dreamed that you and I were dancing.”
Even though, hands down, this
summer was the nicest summer the PNW has had in ten years, I really didn’t feel
like I enjoyed the summer. There were
highlights, for sure, but it never felt like summer to me. I think knowing that the end of the summer
was nigh, and fun had yet to be had, Kathi’s arrival could not have been better
planned. With her, Kathi brought new
energy, excitement and a genuine PLAN on how she was going to spend her
vacation. This meant that we also got to
spend her vacation with her doing things that we just wouldn’t normally do, and
that was just plain awesome. On Monday,
we went and got some Fro Yo where we had the following conversations.
We were talking about running,
and how much Kathi has been running lately, and how impressed we all were and
then Lucas suggested a 5K that I was appalled at because most 5K’s are all
raising money for a cause when we decided to create our own run. Instead of a 5K that benefits people, we
should have an Ugly American’s run, that people just pay us to run, and we’re
all fat and out of shape, but with really designer, expensive clothing. And at each stop we get Fiji water (that
we’ll drink half of and throw on the ground) and cash prizes. And instead of straight running, there would
be games and entertainment throughout the run to encourage our lazy selves to
complete the harrowing task of 5 kilometers.
Dawne: So, Kathi, you and Nate
will have to think of something to do tomorrow because everyone will be at work
or school.
Kathi: That’ll be easy.
Lucas: Yeah? You have something
planned?
Kathi: No, but anything will be
better than what you’re doing tomorrow, seeing as tomorrow is your first day of
class.
We were talking about spending
money and how frugal Zach is compared to all of us (and the world.)
Lucas: I feel like you're the
most Jewish of all of us.
Dawne: I think I left my phone
at work.
Me: What are you going to do?
How are you going to wake up in the morning?
Dawne: That’s what I have a
husband for. That and getting my jeep
fixed.
Me: He got a set of keys for
you?
Dawne: Yup, and he put the top
on my Jeep too.
Me: Once again, I gotta get me
one of those.
On Wednesday, Dawne, Kathi,
Nater and I were sitting in the living room when Matty came in with a six pack.
Matty: I think I got it.
Kathi: I told Matty to get me
the most girlie, I’m embarrassed to even be in the same room with this,
beer.
Matty: Take a look, I think it’s
pretty embarrassing.
As we were enjoying our
respective adult beverages, and discussing dinner plans, Nater mentioned that
Zach was having friends over that evening.
Matty: I thought Zach was
grounded from having friends over.
Dawne: Zach is grounded?
Matty: Maybe I shouldn’t have
said anything…
Nater: What could ZACH have done
to get grounded?
Zach (walking in): Hi guys!
Dawne: You’re grounded?
Zach: Well, dad said that I was
grounded until I learn how to clean up after a party; but how does he know that
I can clean up after a party unless I have one?
Dawne: We should find out if
Lucas is on his way home.
Matty: Send him a text saying,
“Don't text and drive.”
We decided to get some Panera,
and on our way to the car Matty yelled, “Middle!” and on our way back from
Panera when Nate sat in the middle seat, he said, “Aw man! I wanted
Middle.”
On Thursday, I was invited to
Rosh Hashanah dinner at Mort and Judy’s.
I was told to bring apples and honey, but bought like 4 different kinds
of apples because I didn’t want the Catholic girl messing up “Apples and
Honey.” When we arrived at Mort and
Judy’s apartment (which was gorgeous) we got a quick tour. Lucas showed me the pool.
Me: Says here that the capacity
if ten.
Lucas: But there is another sign
that says no lifeguards on duty, so I think we can break that rule.
Jordan’s brother in law arrived,
saying, “Where’s the bathroom? I brought one shirt for driving and eating and
one for the picture.”
Honestly, everything was
absolutely lovely. Dawne was telling
this lovely story about my grandparents, their love, their faith and their commitment,
which made me totally tear up. When she
went to tell the story to my Uncle, Lucas got up and said, “I can’t cry again
over this story.” So we both got up and
returned when the sweetness was over. I
also agreed to keep the Sabbath with Lucas, so on Friday, as the rest of the
family headed out for Pizza, I waited for Lucas to get home. Lucas came in with the Challah bread, and
after dinner, we lit the candles, said the prayers, ate the bread, and played
some Skip-Bo. We weren’t perfect, because
we had to have Lucas text us the prayer, but we did our best.
Lucas: I met this girl over the
summer who goes to a private school. She
was pontificating about diversity and how uncomfortable people are when you
bring up the subject of diversity. She
went on and on until I couldn’t take it anymore. I finally said, “Asking someone about penile
length is uncomfortable. Talking about diversity is NOT uncomfortable.”
Aunt Pat: Shorty at the fish.
Dawne (looking at the fish
sitting on the counter): Shorty ate the fish?
I could see Percy getting up there…
Aunt Pat: No, the salmon that
was in the dish on the floor.
Dawne: Ah! That makes sense.
Me: Yeah, I mean even if Percy
had eaten the fish, I would have just said, “you shouldn’t have put it
somewhere he could get to.”
Matty (looking for a match):
There IS a tiny Harley Davidson hat if you need it.
Me: I’ve totally put that on my
dog.
Lucas: We should get one more
dog and dress them all as the village people for Halloween! Or I’ll be the cop
– and they can bet the other villagers.
On Saturday, we got up and met
Tim at the French Bakery, before he came over to try to fix the projector. And then we went to the dog park where Percy
become King of the Hill of Mulch.
Saturday night was more hanging out followed by Sunday breakfast at the
Original Pancake House with Nater before he had to go back to Chicago. Then Diana and Becky came over and we hung
out in the pool and went out on the boat just like it was still summer.
Finally, my cousin just launched
a Kickstarter. So, if you want to donate
to a good cause, here it is:
Have an awesome rest of the
week!
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