Old In Port Angeles on Prom Sunday

For my 30^th birthday I threw myself a “30 is the new 70” party in which I wanted all of my friends to dress up like they were 70, 85 or in my case 99, go to a B&B in Port Angeles, play canasta and bocce, visit antique and dime stores, complain about the stairs, and basically be old for a weekend.  Honestly, I think our costumes were so good that when I was walking around town and encountered real elderly, I was uncomfortable because we were dressed the same from support hose to babushka and I didn’t want to insult anyone.  Between the Irish coffee, Pill Box Race, and Hook Rug’ing, I think we successfully accomplished all that I wanted to for the weekend (which if you know me, and my flair for packing in more than is physically possible, is rare.)  Here are some of the highlights…

On Friday, a couple of us went to Port Angeles early.   We settled in and started working on a Meatopia Puzzle (Naturally.) When Becky arrived later in the evening we immediately started getting ready for bed.  Rach suggested that Becky move the air mattress closer to us.  As Becky was struggling to place the air mattress in the middle of the floor I said, “You don’t have to listen to her just b/c she’s a doctor.”   

Becky: I’m hot.

Me: That won’t last.

As we were lying in bed, I also exclaimed: Oh! I forgot to tell you!  We thought we were going to miss the ferry—but then we didn’t.

Rach: That was the worst telling of that story you could have possibly told.

Becky: 99.9% of the time you tell great stories, but that .1%? You are never going to live down.

(and I still haven’t, as they continuously brought it up throughout the weekend.)

The real story is that we got in the car, and 5 minutes in, Rach pulls out a bag and asks “Prune’s anyone?”  Then we pulled into the ferry area, and 2 cars before the toll, we were stopped for 40 minutes.  At 6:15, the time that the ferry was scheduled to leave, we began moving, thinking we had another 45 minutes until the 7 o’clock ferry.  We drove through, turned at the stop light, and then… kept going—right onto the ferry.  We could NOT believe our luck at gaining 40 minutes of our lives.  I attributed it to the fact that I picked up a heads up penny that morning (Old people and their love of superstition huh?).  As we were still glowing in our good fortune, I mentioned that I thought the ferry was only 20 minutes long.  We went up to pick up one of the worst dinners ever.  A terrible hot dog, a terrible hamburger, a terrible turkey sandwich and a muffin (actually the muffin was fine… and ironically, I was avoiding meat b/c of Good Friday—Praise the Lord!) We also got some beers that we would shortly after, have to chug b/c no sooner had we sat down but we were pulling into the dock. 

Rach: We gazed at the sun as we ate its chips.

Me (Laughing hysterically): What was that from? I think it’s my favorite movie but I can’t remember which!

Rach: You said that-- on our road trip.

Me: OMG! That’s right.  Boy, am I funny.  And I was right, it is from my favorite movie—my life.

Antique store owner to Rach in her “Old Lady Dress”: It’s nice to see a lady in a dress. 

Me: Did you guys see that sign? It said “Wanted Clean Fill Dirt.”

Shane: I'm not an expert on dirt… but it’s generally not clean.

Rach: And it’s not filling.  I've rarely filled up on dirt. After 20 min I'm hungry again.

Shane: I’ve figured out the name for my son.  First name: First name. Second Name: Second name.

Me: Are you willing to change your last name to “Middle Initial”?

Me: Today is Palm Sunday.

Shana: Prom Sunday? Jesus does love a good formal.

Me: I'm very regal

Lucas: Like the cinema

Shane: Cathy-I clean the bathroom right?

Cathy: He’s never ever cleaned the bathroom. The closest he’s come to cleaning the bathroom is taking a shower.

We all went to dinner, where Lucas saw a piano and gave us an impromptu performance. 

Dawne: What's that show Zach loves the Greek one?

Me: Rome?

Laina also told us a delightful story about someone who was going to try to lay off the cocaine for their nieces wedding. They stashed the coke in a drawer to try and avoid using on the big day.  However, that day, they got a bit of a hankering and opened the drawer to find next to the coke, a dead rat, to which they exclaimed, “Oh the dear lord has given me a sign!  He must not want me doing coke at Crystal’s wedding!” (Sorry Laina.  You told this story soooo much better than I did, but I had my drink on at this point in the evening.)

Shane: When I got my iPad I had the word for “future” in Zulu engraved on the back.  Which is awesome b/c when I had it, it was the present, and if someone in the future buys it, it will have been engraved in the past, and still have no meaning.

Jen: The polyester napkin is the same material as my pants… I don’t know if I’m wiping my hands on the right thing!

Shana: Jen! Why haven’t we done a group rendition of “99 Problems” at Karaoke?

After looking at a stack of menus in front of Cathy, I said, “In Season 3 of “T O’B” this is when we randomly place objects to hide the fact that Cathy is pregnant.”

As Dawne, Jordan, Nate and Lucas were leaving dinner Laina said, “If there is an accident, Lucas, you were always my favorite.”

On our way home from dinner, I mentioned that I brought Guesstures if we wanted to play when we got back.  Shane launched into an elaborate and touching story (pun intended) that began with playing guesstures and showing his penis to demonstrate a clue and ended with Cathy being so appalled that she took his unborn child away from him and he was left a sad hallow of a man. 
Shane: Right Cathy?

Cathy: That’s rubbish.

Shane: I’m ready to get my whiskey on.  When do we have cake? Before or after cock guesstures?

We made bucket lists and then shared them with the group.  I would be remiss if I didn’t help Jamie check “Getting into the Monday Email” off his list. My friend Jen (Cake Envy Seattle) makes amazing cakes.  She made me a glorious “Tiffany’s” cake and as we were eating the scrumptious creation Jamie told me that after the Halloween party, there were two smaller pumpkin cakes left at his house.  Usually, no one likes to cut into Jen’s cakes b/c they are too pretty.  I always volunteer.) Jamie didn’t want to cut into the tiny pumpkins either, so he just lifted one up and every day just took a bite out of the bottom unless he had hallowed it out.  He then moved onto the second pumpkin… only to find that his husband had been doing the exact same thing.  

Shana: I'm going to town on that rug.

Jen: I'm glad I'm sleeping with you tonight.

Me: I understood that joke.

Shana: I do believe Jesus enjoys irony. 

Me: Imma bout to throw this water in your face.

Shana: But I don't have my face depends.

(And yes, I did put depends in everyone’s rooms, just in case.)

While sharing a bed with Rach and Becky:

Becky: I’m going to take control and turn the lights off.

Me (barely awake): Okay, Ron Weasley.

Becky Sniffs.

Rach: What? What are you giggling at?

Becky: I was just sniffling.

Me: This is a bed of trust Becky.  There will be no secrets.

Becky: What happens in the bed…

Me: Oh no, I’m sure this will be in the Monday email.

Rach: It’s more of a line of trust that anyone can get in or out of, but you still have to tell us everything.

Becky: This is going to take our work relationship to the next level.

Me: There is no higher level than “Hero.”

Me: I don’t even really like Bella.  I really like… oh wait.  I can’t remember her name.  That’s going to bother me.

We wanted to stop by Dungess Split on our way home which was on “Kitchen Dick” road.

 It took us a while to find the right trail (I was never good with Nature.)  We didn’t actually make it to the light house, but we did stop and look at the lighthouse through binoculars (and of course for a “Prom Sunday” picture.

And our official album cover shot…

We went to “Dazzled by Twilight” where Becky got an Edward watch.  When we were waiting for the ferry, Becky knocked on my car window and said, “Edward says we have 40 minutes.  Let’s get some ice cream.”

Jen was licking Lily’s cone so that it didn’t drip all over her hand.  As she handed it back she said:  This is the mommy tax.

Lily: Mommy is my taxi.

Jen: That’s also true.

Me: Mommy made a dig, and then Lily made a dig.  I guess you’re even.

Me: It’s 4:44!  Make a wish, but don’t tell me what it is or else it won’t come true.

Becky: I wished you a long and happy life

Me: Jokes on you I already had one - *sigh* guess my birthday weekend is over.

Me: Hey.

Lucas: Do you want to eat? B/c you can’t.

(I could explain this… but I’m not going to.)

Jen asked the lady at the B&B if they had ever had a group so thoroughly take over their home.  The woman told us about a group who spent the weekend trying to scare each other.  At one point, they took it too far by taking one of the porcelain figurines from the B&B and painting red blood on it.  So the gentlemen owner of the B&B waited until the guests went out for dinner and then put on a scream mask and jumped out at the ladies as they arrived back.  One of the women had already really needed to pee so after being scared half to death she ran inside.  When she entered the bathroom, the Lady from the B&B had put a motion sensored picture that yelled “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?” when she entered causing the lady to actually pee her pants.

I hope you enjoyed hearing about my weekend as much as I enjoyed living it. For more pictures you can check out my album here: 30 is the New 70

Hindsight Hilarity

We were watching Daria last night when I heard:

Sandy: My life is over!

Quinn: Sandy! No! It’s not like you’re 30!

 And on that note… let’s recap the birthday festivities.

 Becky put up all sorts of decorations up for my birthday.  We went to a diner for lunch and,  after we sang Happy Birthday to an 80 year old, Becky said to me.  “Go ahead. Go tell her how depressed you are about turning 30.”  I asked that a special sandwich be made for me that added cheese to my bacon and egg sandwich.  They also added lettuce, tomato and mayo to this sandwich, which I did not enjoy.  So on my plate was the lettuce, tomato, and a lot of bread.  The waitress came over and asked “What happened here?  Did you not like it?  Why didn't you eat this?”  I explained that it was great, no problems, everything was wonderful.  As she continues to inquire/reprimand me for not finishing my lunch, I covertly unfolded my napkin and placed it over the uneaten food.  She immediately snatched away the napkin saying “Oh, no you don’t.  No covering this up with a blanket.”  I meekly said I was sorry and she took the plate away calling me a silly girl.  I was just pleased that I could still be silly at 30 (I could have matured over night.  It wasn't a probability, but certainly a possibility right?)  20 minutes later while in the car I said to Becky, while I started trying to clear my throat, “I think there was cheese on my sandwich and you know how I’m allergic to that.”

We went out to dinner in the evening which was lovely—where my friends and family got to enjoy my new catch phrase “Back in my 20’s” followed by something I did last week.  I also mentioned to Rach that I had told her butt cheek story the other day.

Rach: Which one?

Me: The taping of the butt cheeks.  Where you had to tape up someone’s butt cheek b/c they were having hip problems and they asked you to tape the other one up so they would be even.

Rach: Oh yea.  Well, the other story was when I went to the beach with my friend when we were little.  We decided to pull up our bathing suits so we could tan our behinds.  Then my friend’s dad came up to us and said, “Uh Ladies? You may want to put some sun screen on.  Your butt cheeks are becoming quite pink.”  In retrospect, exposing our white butt cheeks to the sun was not a good idea. 

Laina: Oh you might say… in *Hindsight.*

 Watched other people make Sushi on Friday night.  I was talking about doing shots…

Rach: What didn’t you shoot in college, really?

Laina: I shot insulin into my cat in college.  I mean he was diabetic, but it sounded cool.

And, while talking about giving birth, Laina wowed us all with her proclamation of “My mom almost missed my birth.”  Uh, What?  (She actually explained this, but I like the mystery of leaving you hanging, and now you have something to talk to her about when you meet her. Win!”

Nate: Rob Derringer has to be the coolest name ever.

Lucas: I don’t know.  I have a friend named Bentley Richardson.  It’s like a car and then Dick.

I came home on Friday, and in the middle of the kitchen counter was the mouse cage with an animal in it.  When I asked Luke what it was, he told me that Casper (Nate’s Dog) brought home a birthday gift for Dawne.  A tiny baby bunny.  The next morning, when I was taking Nala out, she quite suddenly started to freak out, shaking, she demanded that I pick her up.  As I looked around, I saw the mama rabbit, (at least twice the size of Nala) staring me down.  Seriously, an unwavering stare making me feel incredibly guilty for stealing her baby – which I totally didn't deserve – but I still felt guilty b/c even if I didn't take her baby, I knew where her baby was.  Unfortunately, the baby wasn't healthy enough to bring back to her mama, and she also wasn't healthy enough to survive the weekend.  Poor baby bunny. 

On Saturday, thinking I was only planning on running errands all day; I put a bunch of expensive therapeutic healing serums in my hair.  When Luke and I got into the car, I asked him if he could smell the cucumber weirdness, and he said he couldn't.  However, when we were walking in Target, he suddenly said, “Tiffany, you need a second shower.  You’re hair is making me sick.”  When we got back into the car, I said, “I guess the second shower is a good idea b/c I also put this new wrinkle cream on my face… “and Luke said, “Oh  yea!  I think it’s actually giving you wrinkles… and your face looks weird.”  Upon looking in the mirror I could see my whole face was red and hot to the touch.   Second shower it is then. 

I was checking Facebook last week and read the updates to Dawne and Lucas that apparently it was hailing in both Issaquah and Woodinville.  Ten minutes later, Jordan walked in complaining about the hail.  Apparently it never occurred to me to look outside for a weather report.  If it’s not on FB it simply didn’t happen.  Am I right or am I right or am I right?

Back in my 20’s, there was a phase in which no one was allowed to watch TV or play Video Games with the exception of Tuesday Night Gilmore Girls.  Nate always scoffed at the show, but we always assumed he was a closet GG watcher as he always knew all of our references.  Last week, Nate told me that in Chicago, an old episode of Gilmore Girl’s came on, and before someone changed the channel, Nate and his roommate started singing the “Where you Lead” theme song softly to themselves.  Whoops.  Secret is out. 

Lucas: Hey Tufts, Eli tried smoking weed. 

Me: Eli!? My Eli!?  Why would you tell me this?

Lucas: Well.  I know how wonderful you think he is and thought you should know.  Give the rest of us a chance and all.

My nephew Kyle is quite the evangelist apparently.  At school, his teacher over heard:

Kyle: Do you believe in Jesus?

Clarisse: Uh can you pass the purple crayon?

Kyle: Sure.  Do you believe in Lent? 

When Maureen asked about the conversation, Kyle explained that he just wanted to know if she believed in Jesus but Clarisse was having another conversation so she didn’t tell him.

Kevin: Kyle that is so rude.  You shouldn’t talk when someone else is talking.

Patrick: Unless you can speak louder, then that’s okay.

Could you imagine… HEY CLARISSE!! DO YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS!?

J: You should really call Mark Gordan and tell him you have decided do something else.

T: Or tell him you no longer want to work with him after that whole Glee’s Anatomy debacle.

Shana: In my day this was considered a call girl or hooker, I guess I'm getting old... http://www.whatsyourprice.com/

Me: That was back in my 20’s.  Now it’s plain old fashioned good sense. 

Last week, given my soul crushing sadness, I was thinking that maybe going to therapy might help.  Then I was thinking, maybe I would just take the money I would spend on that and get Garth Brooks tickets.  Now, I’m happy AND I get to go to Vegas. 

‎

Turning 30 or "I love Jesus, but I drink a little."

*****Spoiler Alert: This is not funny and I brag a lot.*****

I had wanted to write something on my birthday but I got distracted.  3 hours before I turned 30 I decided to google “Things to do before you turn 30” (not that I’m a procrastinator or anything.)  The google results for “Turning 30” were, on a whole, extremely upsetting. 

Here’s the thing about me—I truly like to be happy.  But last week, I was over-whelmed by a soul crushing sadness.  It’s the weirdest thing.  I mean I know it’s just a number, I know that my life is pretty awesome. I like to focus on the good stuff more than the bad and all that jazz.  However, there are a handful of, let’s just say unpleasant specimens in my life.  For the most part I stick a pin into these ugly insects in my life and keep them in a little glass box.  They aren’t hidden away.  No secrets about what species these vermin are—it’s just I don’t go around inspecting these pinned beasts either because, let’s face it.  I don’t care what they are labeled, they are still ugly bugs with pins shoved through their centers and if you’re not a doctor of such and such—you don’t want to see that.    Like any good hoarder of dusty things, eventually, you gotta take an inventory of what you’ve collected over the years.  Not daily, (I’m not nutso) but maybe every once in a while.  Like a couple days before you turn another decade older.  So I took a look into the glass box, with a magnifying glass, and had myself a good cry—lasting around 48 hours, and then went ahead and put it back where it belongs. 

In another box, I have created quite a different collection.  It is filled with really hilarious, fun &  glittery things that, if I ever get a moment, I’ll put into a scrap book—ya know when I decide to slow down a bit.  Taking a quick look at the timeline, I’m thinking this might in 2071, unless of course I die in a horrific accident (which I just read is the most common way for a 30-something to die.  I told you, google was not my friend on Wednesday.) 

1. My brother told his sister in law that you only live your life once—and she should just leap into taking a vacation.  No one has ever had to tell me that.  I never want to miss out on an event, a trip, a chance to do something fun, exciting and adventurous.  You do only live your life once, and for 30 years I have been LIVING IT. 
2. I’ve been to 30 different countries (coincidence?), 44 of the 50 states, swam in 3 oceans and I have gotten a flat tire on three different continents.
3. The very same people who I called best friends on the day I graduated college—are still my best friends.  Only now? I also have all of these incredibly amazing best friends in Seattle too.  The type of friends that every SINGLE time that I hang out with them or talk to them I come home, or hang up as the case may be, and say, “Wow.  They are such incredible individuals. How lucky am I?”  (True story.  Ask Dawne.)  And this September I will be in my 7th wedding (20 more and I get my own movie!)
4. I don’t just love my family I LIKE them.  I have a tight relationship with two families actually—one on each coast—how incredibly wonderful and inconvenient.  And, with the exception of maybe one person who I’ve never met, I would feel completely comfortable calling anyone in my extended family just to say hello. 
5. I’ve fired a gun, done a shot (or 2 or 3 or 4), jumped on a trampoline, had a bouncy house party, & smoked a cigar (not all at the same time of course.)
6. I’ve been micro-lighting, parasailed, zip lined, snorkeled, drove a boat, snow, water, and jet skied, snuba dived, floated in salt lake, swam with dolphins and sting rays (and away from a barracuda), surfed, fished and I’ve dissected a shark.
7. I have gone on safari, been in a Hungarian bath and hit up an Irish Bar in Russia. 
8. My resume is really impressive.  Seriously, like over 15 jobs if you count that summer that I waitressed, was a camp counselor, worked at a movie theater and sold porn.
9. I’ve had surgery, disposed of dead animals, broken at least 5 bones (though ironically, my first cast was actually when a strained a muscle—go figure) and had to be on crutches 3 times (I’m a lil accident prone too I guess.)
10. I’ve been on soccer, basketball, softball, volleyball teams, did some gymnastics and even took some dance lessons.  I’ve seen more concerts, operas, plays and performances than I can count—including when I played the flute and organ as a kid.  Oh and in case that wasn’t enough, I wrote a book last spring.

So really guys, even with all of those hideous insects pinned in a glass box, I think I’m on the right track.  And maybe, next time I start freaking out about the icky bugs—someone could read some of this back to me.  I’m just sayin’.  J

Thanks for willing to go on an adventure with me, for laughing when I fall (I hate the silence), picking up the phone when I call, and reading these little posts of mine.  2/3 more to go kids! 

Interrobang

Again, I’m sorry my April Fool’s joke in which I used TV quotes in an attempt to fool you back fired into finding out that my real life sounds remarkably similar to a sitcom. 

I can’t believe I have to wait until October to get this for my sister-in-law Stacey: http://www.someecards.com/2011/04/01/obsessive-compulsive-chef-cutting-board 

Last Sunday, Dawne got a migraine and when she eventually was able to leave her bed she realized that the rest of us were enjoying her sick day by playing video games, watching TV and basically using as little energy as possible—something we really don’t ever get to do unless Dawne is bed ridden.  I promise I did not feed her something that gives her migraines…. On purpose. 

Dawne: I have really amazing incredible news.

Luke: Okay what?

Dawne: You are just going to be so excited.

Luke: Just tell me.  You’re building it up too much.

Me: Your mom is adopting a baby sister for you!

Luke: WHAT!? ‽

Me: Just kidding.

Dawne: Ha ha.  Actually your school kicked you out.  I thought you’d be excited because you wanted to go back to Mercer.

Luke: WHAT!? ‽

Dawne: Just kidding.  You got into the driver’s ed class.

Luke: Not. Cool.  Not cool. 

(10 minutes later)

Dawne: What’s the matter with you?

Luke: My heart is still palpitating.  You can’t do that to me.  Seriously.  My heart.  It doesn’t not feel good.  I can’t believe you did that to me.

(Ten minutes later)

Me: Luke?

Luke: Still recovering.

Me: So weird.  It’s not like that time that your parents took the whole family out for lunch (after coming back from Arizona) for a family meeting and told us first that she was pregnant and then said haha we’re moving to Arizona—seriously we just bought a house.  That was truly horrifying. 

Luke (still clutching his heart): Oh ya.  At that Pizza Place.  I didn’t like that either. 

Dawne: Look at my finger.  It’s turned blue.  I think I have diabetes. 

Me: Maybe you’re just allergic to the new medication.  Did you look at the side effects?

Dawne: Of course.  It has a whole list of side effects (starts reading them off) …and paranoia.  But I still think its diabetes.

Me: Right. Not paranoia. Not the medication. Definitely Diabetes. 

Becky was telling me a story about trials and tribulations of communication with her boss today at lunch. 

Becky: … so she’ll give an opinion and I’ll say “I don’t disagree with that.”  And then she’ll say something else and I’ll say “I disagree with that.”  And then…

Me: Wait.  So when you are trying to be extremely clear in order to best communicate with your boss you will say “I don’t disagree” instead of “I agree?”

Becky.  Yes.  Ya know so she knows if I disagree or don’t disagree.  Why can’t you just listen to my stories…

Me: And just nod and say “I don’t disagree?”

Zach: We got a tornado warning the other day that told us we needed to head inside to safe place.  I looked up and sadly realized that I was in a computer lab with no windows and I could safely keep working for another 8 hours if I wanted to.  Perfect.

Lucas came home the other day and said to me “We have a great family.” 

Me: Yes. We do.

Lucas: No really.  We do.

Me: I know.  If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here because I can leave.   Where is this coming from?

Lucas: Well a lot of high schoolers are always complaining about their family and I feel bad for them b/c our family is so awesome. 

And then we watched Daria. 

Julie hit me with two fascinating emails the other day.  One was from her in-laws:

Today when Dad and I were driving home from the gym and turning the corner and noticed something hanging in the tree.  I wasn't 100% sure of what I saw and so we turned around and came back to look again.   YEP - exactly what I thought the first time. A goose had "hung" himself in a tree - about 50 feet up in the air.  We figured he was either taking off or landing, maybe scared, or it was dark.  Hit the trees and got his neck caught in between the branches.

The second email just simply said:  Nick (her husband) bought a ski lift chair today...no idea what we are going to do with it.  http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2011/03/ski_roundtop_tries_to_sell_off.html  

My favorite line is “My wife, undoubtedly, will love it.”

Jordan bought more Bucky Balls which I immediately combined with the other set of Bucky balls, only to realize that they were ever so slightly different sizes and had to separate each individual magnet from each other which only took like 2 episodes of Daria.  I then came into work, stopped by café ladro and promptly told the chick that I broke my coffee card.  Bucky Balls.  The chick was confused, but the guy waiting in line behind me was like… Ya. Bucky Balls.  That’ll do it. 

I recently met this recruiter who has been sending jobs over to me.  When she first called she commented about how my voicemail is very professional sounding.  I said, “yes.  It is the first time but I hear the more you listen to it the more sarcastic it sounds.”  Now, every time she leaves a message she is laughing as if I am actually getting funnier with every call.  She told me even if I don’t get such and such a job we still need to get together and hang out over some champagne.  She asked me about my weekend and I told her that I had spent 7 hours making a cake for my cousin.

Rita: Your husband?

Me: No.  My cousin.   I’m still looking for a husband—do you recruit for those also?

Rita: For you? I could do that. 

Me: If you have to make a choice between job or husband, finding me a husband is more important.

Rita: Well, I think you would love my son. He’s very handsome.  Italian—do you like Italians? He’s in the air force.  He’s a little young for you, but I think it would be okay.  Now, my boys always share everything with me so I know that when he was younger, he was a bit of a player.  I’m only telling you this b/c this is not how I raised him.  He has started to grow out of it though and he’s ready to settle down.  I’ll set that up.  Oh and let you know about that job thing. 

I feel like I should put together a romantic resume… maybe I can steal some ideas from this chick?

http://www.someecards.com/2011/03/30/girl-seeks-brainless-boyfriend

I met with one of my many pregnant friends last week.  First, I want it noted that I ordered a donut from top pot and couldn’t finish it.  This has been happening all week—I really hope this means that tape worm that I asked for for my birthday arrived early.  Second, and more on topic, Sarah is due July 16^th and her husband’s first reaction to this news was “We’re still going to be able to see Harry Potter right?  The last movie comes out on July 15^th.”

I went to pick up a puppy with Shana on Saturday.  Her name is Coco Channel and she is adorable.  Here are two videos of Nala and Coco.  Please keep in mind that Nala is only three pounds when you see this munchkin running next to her.  She was the first dog that Nala was not submissive to and was actually more like “Hey! Keep up.  We got a lot of grass to cover here.”  I just wish we had gotten a shot of Coco easily being able to walk under Nala.  Sorry I couldn’t stop talking… but hey no one should be surprised by this. 

I learned a new punctuation which I think I’ll be starting to use in my daily correspondence (as soon as I can figure how to type it using gmail and outlook.  Especially outlook. How fun is this‽

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang

And lastly… in case anyone forgot or isn’t on facebook… my birthday is this Thursday—and more than usual, I am going to need to be showered with lots of love so… get on that.  Kthnxbye.

Sup' Sipowicz.

So much has happened this week that I thought I would send a quick Friday update with the rest on Monday.

I had another run in with a cop… but I must have been nervous the interaction went like this:

Me: I'm in Vice. Yeah, in fact, I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore.
Cop: Who... who else is in vice up there?
Me: Um, do you know, um Sipowicz?
Cop: Sipowicz? No, I don't think so.
Me: Yeah, Sipowicz. Yeah, um, big guy, kind of bald.
Cop: No, I don't know him.
Me: Don't try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there. He's out. His, um... his partner just died.
Cop: Wow. Well, tell Sipowicz I'm real sorry for his loss.
Me: I sure will. Take care.
Cop: Hey! By the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good.

Had a minor tiff with my mother in which I might have said “Okay Mother.”  She immediately said “Stop saying "mother" like that.” And I was all “Like what?” And she quickly replied “Like there should be another word after it.”

Sean told me about a conversation he had with his daughters on Monday which Jackie said, “Dad, Bailey pushed us out of the bathroom, so the soap's in Morgan’s eyes and she wouldn't let me rinse out the shampoo like Mom said and now Morgan might be blinded for life! If she is, can we get a dog?”

Last night Luke and I were watching some Daria and he came back from the kitchen with a mug.

Luke: I made tea. 
Me: I don't want tea. 
Luke: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea. 
Me: Then why are you telling me? 
Luke: It's a conversation starter. 
Me: That's a lousy conversation starter. 
Luke: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Had a nice conversation with my friend Roy on Tuesday

Roy: "I'm the bad boy. I've never been the bad boy."

Me: "You've been the bad employee, the bad son, the bad friend."

Roy: "Yes. Yes, yes."

Me: "The bad fiancé, the bad dinner guest, the bad credit risk."

Roy: "Okay, the point is made."

Me: "The bad date, the bad sport, the bad citizen. The bad tipper!"

And… because what is an update without a Becky work story:

Boss: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Becky was hit by a car.

Non-Becky-Co-Worker: Where?

Boss:    It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life; they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.

Non-Becky-Co-Worker: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?

Boss:    Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don’t know, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.