*****Spoiler Alert: This is not funny and I brag a lot.*****
I had wanted to write something on my birthday but I got distracted. 3 hours before I turned 30 I decided to google “Things to do before you turn 30” (not that I’m a procrastinator or anything.) The google results for “Turning 30” were, on a whole, extremely upsetting.
Here’s the thing about me—I truly like to be happy. But last week, I was over-whelmed by a soul crushing sadness. It’s the weirdest thing. I mean I know it’s just a number, I know that my life is pretty awesome. I like to focus on the good stuff more than the bad and all that jazz. However, there are a handful of, let’s just say unpleasant specimens in my life. For the most part I stick a pin into these ugly insects in my life and keep them in a little glass box. They aren’t hidden away. No secrets about what species these vermin are—it’s just I don’t go around inspecting these pinned beasts either because, let’s face it. I don’t care what they are labeled, they are still ugly bugs with pins shoved through their centers and if you’re not a doctor of such and such—you don’t want to see that. Like any good hoarder of dusty things, eventually, you gotta take an inventory of what you’ve collected over the years. Not daily, (I’m not nutso) but maybe every once in a while. Like a couple days before you turn another decade older. So I took a look into the glass box, with a magnifying glass, and had myself a good cry—lasting around 48 hours, and then went ahead and put it back where it belongs.
In another box, I have created quite a different collection. It is filled with really hilarious, fun & glittery things that, if I ever get a moment, I’ll put into a scrap book—ya know when I decide to slow down a bit. Taking a quick look at the timeline, I’m thinking this might in 2071, unless of course I die in a horrific accident (which I just read is the most common way for a 30-something to die. I told you, google was not my friend on Wednesday.)
- My brother told his sister in law that you only live your life once—and she should just leap into taking a vacation. No one has ever had to tell me that. I never want to miss out on an event, a trip, a chance to do something fun, exciting and adventurous. You do only live your life once, and for 30 years I have been LIVING IT.
- I’ve been to 30 different countries (coincidence?), 44 of the 50 states, swam in 3 oceans and I have gotten a flat tire on three different continents.
- The very same people who I called best friends on the day I graduated college—are still my best friends. Only now? I also have all of these incredibly amazing best friends in Seattle too. The type of friends that every SINGLE time that I hang out with them or talk to them I come home, or hang up as the case may be, and say, “Wow. They are such incredible individuals. How lucky am I?” (True story. Ask Dawne.) And this September I will be in my 7th wedding (20 more and I get my own movie!)
- I don’t just love my family I LIKE them. I have a tight relationship with two families actually—one on each coast—how incredibly wonderful and inconvenient. And, with the exception of maybe one person who I’ve never met, I would feel completely comfortable calling anyone in my extended family just to say hello.
- I’ve fired a gun, done a shot (or 2 or 3 or 4), jumped on a trampoline, had a bouncy house party, & smoked a cigar (not all at the same time of course.)
- I’ve been micro-lighting, parasailed, zip lined, snorkeled, drove a boat, snow, water, and jet skied, snuba dived, floated in salt lake, swam with dolphins and sting rays (and away from a barracuda), surfed, fished and I’ve dissected a shark.
- I have gone on safari, been in a Hungarian bath and hit up an Irish Bar in Russia.
- My resume is really impressive. Seriously, like over 15 jobs if you count that summer that I waitressed, was a camp counselor, worked at a movie theater and sold porn.
- I’ve had surgery, disposed of dead animals, broken at least 5 bones (though ironically, my first cast was actually when a strained a muscle—go figure) and had to be on crutches 3 times (I’m a lil accident prone too I guess.)
- I’ve been on soccer, basketball, softball, volleyball teams, did some gymnastics and even took some dance lessons. I’ve seen more concerts, operas, plays and performances than I can count—including when I played the flute and organ as a kid. Oh and in case that wasn’t enough, I wrote a book last spring.
So really guys, even with all of those hideous insects pinned in a glass box, I think I’m on the right track. And maybe, next time I start freaking out about the icky bugs—someone could read some of this back to me. I’m just sayin’. J
Thanks for willing to go on an adventure with me, for laughing when I fall (I hate the silence), picking up the phone when I call, and reading these little posts of mine. 2/3 more to go kids!