Enema party

Update 12/22 - 12/28

The problem with writing updates a month late is you have no idea what you were referring to when I wrote, "I love ruining people's stay" and "Remember when you wore that to one of the weddings?" Never the less, I'll try to fill you in on my trip home to New York.  If I do forget anything just know that I had a lovely week, surrounded by family and love, and just a perfect Christmas at home. 

I mentioned a couple items in the previous update, so we'll start with Monday.  I sent a warning text to my siblings early in the week saying, "Frita, just came up from the basement with a roll of wrapping paper and tape saying, 'well, I think I'm finished.' “Here’s one the fun presents I saw on the stack.  

On Monday evening, Mo, Pat, the boys and I took the train down to the city to see the lights and FAO Shwartz.  Sean ran over after work, to walk with us for 30 minutes before he had to turn around and walk back 30 minutes in the other direction to meet people for work.  I was happy to see him, but I'm not sure he thought it was worth it.  At FAO, we separated one boy to one adult as they hunted down presents with the money from their grandparents.  I got to walk around with Kevin, and it was pretty fun, if I do say so myself.  Plus, being a tourist for a day is pretty cool - as long as it's just for a day.

Tuesday we headed over to Sean and Stacey's to celebrate Sean's birthday.   Stacey made meatballs in the biggest pot I have ever seen.

Mo: I got hit by a car today.

Me: What!?

Mo: Yeah, this guy...

Carla: You got HIT by a car?

Mo: Yeah, today.

Me: Wait what?

Mo: My car was fine.

Carla and me: OH! You were in a car!

Me: What are you hoping to get for Christmas?

Morgan: A plasma ball.

Me: what is a plasma ball?

Morgan: It's a ball that lights up at the points that you touch with electricity.

Me: Oh! Are you going to get that from the 80's?  What else are you asking for? A cabbage patch doll and a lava lamp?

As Beth was leaving: I'm so glad you got to see me.

Me: Wow, Bails just said something that sounded exactly like Stacey.

Jackie: I know! It's like having two moms.  And now Morgan is starting.  It's awful.  The other day, I was walking up the stairs and she was all, "You better go shower."  I don't need that.

Carla and I spent some time trying to get Morgan to say all of the states using clues.  At point, when she couldn't get it from "place where potatoes come from" my second clue was, "Blank… Now you da ho!" I'm not a very good Aunt.

Jeff: We should be friends.

Me: We are friends.

Jeff: No, seriously.

Me: Seriously.  It's even facebook official. 

Jeff: I told my wife we were going to Miami after Christmas, but I haven't bought the tickets.

Me: And you're still going?

Carla: Either that, or we'll hear Kasia's disappointment from across the street.

(They did end up going btw)

I told everyone that I was switching up the seating arrangements for Christmas which really ruffled some feathers.  I was quite pleased with the shake-up though.  Unknowingly, I put Frita, Bailey and Maureen on one couch and Jackie and I on the other which made everyone believe I was rewarding the Spanish speaking folks with couches... and maybe I was.

Morgan opened up a bunch of Chocolate.

Jackie: I wonder if she's a sharer.

Then Morgan passed around her gift.

Jackie: It's a Christmas miracle!

Jackie: I went to get my hair done and the woman told me that it looked like I had a squirrel on my forehead and my mom never told me!

Me: A what?

Stacey: She was talking about her uni-brow, but I think I would have noticed a squirrel.

As we were opening gifts

Stacey: That's why Sean is always so happy.

Frita: Why?

Stacey: He never sees the credit card statement.

Momela: What are you doing this week?

Bails: I have a lot of studying to do.  A couple of papers to write..

Jackie: I'm partying all week.

On Christmas we went to Mo's house where her in-laws proceeded to make me very worried that I was going to go on this trip and have to share a bathroom with a bunch of people and we weren't going to have toilet paper, and that was all after I got a blood clot on the plane.  In other news, dinner was delicious and the company was lovely.  :)

The day after Christmas, Carla and I brought the girls to the diner to give them their gift of Taylor Swift tickets (which they looked at puzzled before they figured out what was in their hands.  I think partially because Jackie was reading the side with the terms and conditions.)

Me: where did you get that?

Morgan: Christmas gave it to me.

Before we got the food

Morgan: Mom says we can't anything after this until dinner.

Jackie: Oh! We should go to Lil Sorento's tonight! And maybe go to Cold Stone too.

Me: You've got the whole day planned, huh?

Jackie: I am going to have an Enema party for my 30th birthday.

Me: I'll be in Seattle that day.

Carla: I'm working that day.

Jackie: Aunt Mo said she would go with me.  It's going to be great.  We're going to feel so clean!

Me: She's clearly a better Aunt than we are.

Upon our return to the house.

Stacey: How was it?

Jackie: I left a child and came back a woman.

I ran back to Mo's for a bit to see Cristi who was also in town with her friend James. 

James: She asked me, "Was I sleeping?" when there was a pool of drool on the couch.

Don't you love when I share, Cristi?

Stacey got a massage chair for Christmas and Morgan was charging a dollar for a 5 minute massage.  Jackie finally took her up on her offer.  Sean helped by bringing over some apples to roll on her back, and apparently it wasn't the most pleasant - though to be honest I never heard Jackie's answer to Sean's, "How do you like them apples?"  At one point, Morgan really started to make it unpleasant telling Jackie it would cost her another dollar to stop.  She must of doesn't something awful because Jackie suddenly rose and said, "Permission to fight her?!"  Her request was denied, but Morgan still cowered while Jackie squeezed Morgan between her legs as she learned over to hug her mother sitting on the couch.  Sneaky. 

On my last morning, Mo took Percy for a walk with Bella (actually, Mo took Percy boy for many walks which allowed me to rest my foot because she is the best of sisters. :) ) On that particular morning, it allowed me to pack.  When she got back she came into the house with some beers saying, "Vacation isn't over until I say it is!" Yeah, buddy.  We played some more canasta, and before I knew it was time to get to the airport. 

Sean tried to explain to me how Penn State was going to play at Yankee stadium, but I was still dubious.

Helpful gifts from Sean

I got home and took care of the dogs, and the next day at around noon, Lucas came home to finally "take care" of the dogs and feed them, filling me with so much confidence in their survival when I left.  I helped him take the dogs outside.

Me: Percy is a past pee-er.

Lucas: He should put that in his resume really give him a leg up.

Later, Lucas drove Zach and I to the airport. I bade him farewell, and begged him to keep my dog alive until Dawne came home from Vegas, and then we were off on our grand adventure!

More to come soon!

That's the Next Edition

Update 12/15 – 12/21

I have about an hour before I need to jet, quite literally, to Burma.  I’m going to see if I can pull off a Monday email before I leave. J

I met up with Becky for breakfast bright and early on Monday.  We hadn’t seen each other since before Thanksgiving so we had a lot to catch up on.  I’m particularly proud of Becky this year.  As some of you might know, she quit her job in Marketing at Pokemon to dive into what she has always wanted to do, teach workout classes.   She started out doing ShaBam but moved onto also taking over other classes like water aerobics.  It always takes a lot to switch careers (as some of you know firsthand) and I am always impressed when I see someone make the leap.  What is even more awesome is that she is finally in a place where she’s really proud of herself too, and that’s pretty awesome.  As I’m writing this, I realize that both Evivova and Kristy Kreme both had a pretty awesome year doing the same thing – only they chose careers that took 4+ years of getting new degrees to get there – and I’m pretty proud of you guys too. J  Way to go, Idaho!

Anyway, the really funny thing I heard while with Becky was that she went on her first Motorcycle ride and there was only one extra helmet that had the confederate flag on one side and “I hate Obama” on the other.  Safety First!

Ryan and I were at work, loitering by the “balcony” waiting to get into a meeting room when our co-worker Angel, who grew up in Mexico City, walked by.

Angel: You look like you’re in HS loitering around the parking lot.

Me: You did that?

Angel: No, of course not.  We would have been kidnapped.

Me: Yeah, the cool kids in my HS waited by the radiator – so clearly I never did that.

Shana: For your next wedding http://happyplace.someecards.com/weddings/the-best-man-at-a-wedding-claimed-not-to-have-the-ring-suddenly-an-instagram-star-appeared/

Laina: Can it be ANY Instagram star? Tom Selleck the Cat is VERY popular! Or does it need to be this guy? Your prompt response is greatly appreciated, as we have a LOT of planning to do!

Shana: Weeeeelll, I feel like this guy would be better since he roller skates in wearing super hero underwear.  Tom is cute and all but lets not be cheap about this. 

Me: I am *sure* we can make some kitty super hero underwear given our combined resources.  Plus Laina and Mo have at least a month or two to teach Tom how to roller skate. 

We also went to go see this AMAZING house in Kirkland that had these great lights outside, signs to encourage donations and food drives, plus you could go inside and see this crazy forest with real stream and Christmas village with a tunnel for kids to go under.  Too cool.

And we met up with Cassidy to grab dinner and see The Theory of Everything.  Cassidy suggested that instead of caroling, we should all make it mandatory to listen to Christmas music in silence like it deserves.  And I thought that was funny.  J

We celebrated the first day of Hanukkah but lighting the menorah, saying the prayers, and putting up Hanukkah Harry.  

Dawne: Wait! What about the blood of God?  I’ll go get the wine.

Jordan: That’s the next edition.

Lucas: Yeah, that might be sending mixed signals.

Dawne: Well, you did marry a goyem (Sp?)

Me: Now let’s go sit by the Hanukkah bush and open presents.

Lucas wanted to watch a feel good movie, so I suggested Patch Adams, which was great but I forgot how much sad bit it had.  I also went to dinner with some partners.  The one guy “Young MC” who is probably around 25, nicknamed another guy we were having dinner with who is probably around 37, “Old Man Hope.” I asked him how he felt about this, and he said, “Yeah it makes me feel like an old salty dog sea captain who lives on the docks. ‘Old Man Hope, You’ll smell him before you see him!”

Lucas: Ever notice that Passover is a lot like D&D.  You sit around and tell stories.

Zach: I found the perfect present but I haven’t bought it yet.  Guess what it is – it’s a movie.

Me: Does it have Thailand in it?

Zach: Yes!

Me: And princesses?

Zach: YES!

Me: and an elephant?

Zach: Yes! It’s Prince and Me 4.

Me: But I haven’t seen 3 yet! I guess we have our flight entertainment now! 1, 2, 3 and 4!

Zach: When I was younger, my dad got a VHS of Star Wars, and it got water on it.  When he put it on, it was wide screen, so there were black bars on both the top and bottom of the screen, and I thought it was because of the water I spilled on the tape. 

We grabbed dinner at crossroads before I left for NY on Friday and it was the first time that he had seen the new Daiso store.

Lucas: I’m so used to seeing the recliner land and thinking “I don’t care.”

Even though my parents live next door to my sister, I feel like we call each other around ten times a day when I’m home. On one such occasion I heard Maureen say to Kevin, “You can have the Capri Sun, but it’s been down both Patrick’s and my pants.” 

At Church

Me: Frita, your face is bleeding.

Frita: Oh, that’s just the cancer.

I posted a couple of chalk drawings that my mom did and are up in our house.  Frita told me the story of the clown drawing which I had never heard.  When he was in the Christian Brothers, my mom brought the clown over to him.  The houses cook, Violetta took one look at it and said, “Yup.  He’s the next one to go.”  (As in, he would be the next to leave the brotherhood to marry my mom. And I think he was. J )

Okay, time is up, I’ll have so much to catch up on when I return! Happy New Year!!

I Blame the Typhoid

Update 12/8 – 12/14

On Monday, there was a flurry of activity in the morning that concluded with Nater driving me, Zach, & Jordan to work. 

Me: Should I call Zach and see if he wants to just join me at the doctor for shots?

Dawne: Yeah.  Zach isn't good at anything.

Nater: Did you want to qualify that that at all?

Zach and I went to get our shots for our trip.  I got a little nervous when I started thinking about getting three shots, so my doctor gave me the pill form of the typhoid vaccination.  Naturally, all week, I’ve been blaming everything on the “typhoid.”  When we left the office, Zach felt his tongue swelling up.  When we went back to the doctor, the nurse said, “Yeah, that doesn’t sound normal.  You should watch that and if it gets worse go to the hospital.”  Thanks!  He ended up bring fine, but we made him hang out with us that evening just in case. 

From my friend Jen:

Honest to goodness random quote from Lily just now about her crush (Nolan) after I explained how a silent auction works:

"I wish Nolan could be bound to a tree so I could bid to have him for my boyfriend. I'd pay like $300."

"Bound to a tree?!?" I said

"Yeah or something like that."

I got all my Christmas cards done, except for a few stragglers that still need to give me their addresses.  

And then I finished the Oreo Balls and brought them into the folks at work.  Twice this week I’ve had to put my keys in or on the fridge to remember to bring something.  The first time was with goat’s milk I got for the sick pups.  I put my keys right into the mini fridge at work.  The second time was to remember to bring the Oreo balls in to work b/c I totally forgot the day before.  I should have taken a picture of the final balls, because it was a classic Pinterest vs Reality moment that would have left you in stitches.   Didn’t stop my co-workers from devouring them! What they didn’t look like:

And a picture of my keys, feel free to save this as your desktop photo:

Had another awesome Food Truck Friday, with special guests Ethan and Ronell.  I saw Ronell and Mat in a conference room (both of which normally work in Redmond, so I thought that they’d want to drive together.)

Me: It’s food truck Friday if you want to come Ronell! But you have to drive with Matastic.

Ronell: Is it because you don’t let black people in your car?

Me: um… yes? That’s totally the reason?

Mort, Judy and Lucas all flew in on Friday evening, but both flights were delayed.  As Lucas was sharing his travel woes with the FB, I helpful pulled this image off the internet:

The good news is we all got to have a lovely family breakfast on Saturday morning.  Mort was telling us about going to a sermon where the rabbi used golf metaphors to describe the many ways we suffer.  After the sermons, Mort we up to the rabbi and said, "But don't you think golf is the ultimate suffering?"

Lucas: The only modern boxer I can think of is that guy with the tattoos on his face.

Me: Mike Tyson?

Lucas: yes! And Muhammad Ali.

Zach: and George Forman!

On Saturday night, Zach and I met up with Matty for dinner.  As I started the car, Zach turned to me and said, "I like that it reminds you that you're driving a fiat."

Sunday, we all got up early, piled into a rented suburban and headed to Leavenworth, WA. I made a lot of references to Switchmas and his which everyone conveniently had forgotten that they watched. Guess what I'm making everyone watch again this week?

We rented a Suburban to head over the mountains.  Jordan: No matter how big the car... [Casper insists on sitting shotgun, on Dawne’s lap.]

After picking up Zach and Cassidy, Lucas put on a British "Christmas" song that was pretty dreary, for which the only cure was the Muppet’s “Life’s a Happy Song.”  We then agreed to switch back and forth so that we had a Christmas selection every other song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-nmiZjK4MI

Listening to the Tarzan soundtrack, Lucas, "this is the N'sync version - listen for Justin!"

While listening to Simon and Garfunkel, Lucas sang, "deep and dark December - that's now!"

Cassidy: Can you do me a big favor? Can you take a picture from the front?

Zach: First, I think that qualifies as a small favor.

Lucas: If anything, the quotations should be on Australian.

I don’t want to embarrass her, but it is no secret that my mom doesn’t really have a green thumb.  For a while, she took to tying silk roses to her rose bush because she was tired of waiting for flowers that wouldn’t bloom.  I think the most fun was this way she could have different colored roses every year! Well, the proprietor had the same idea. 

I am clearly behind the times because this is the first time I’ve seen this motto, and I love it.

I took this picture because this reminded me exactly of the real Bavaria without Neuschwanstien.

Dawne: Are you going to check it out?

And that's when Casper put the window down. He has a very large vocabulary.

And one more of Leavenworth, because the clouds here were amazing.  

Also, if you look closely at this picture there is a chick carrying cat who is on a leash (under the do not enter sign.)

We can still hear you, though

Update 12/1 - 12/8

Monday morning was rough because of the late night with Lucas (totally worth it of course) but I was very grateful for coffee, all day long. Oh! You know what I forgot to tell you in the midst of all of these bulk delivery updates?  Zach and I watched a lot of Video Game High School.   I think you can see the first two seasons on Netflix, and the last one on YouTube.  Now, only watch this show if you are a total nerd and are willing to be faced with what a big gamer nerd you are.  I had resisted this truth about myself for so many years, but now, given how much I totally understood of this show's jokes, I'm 100% gamer nerd. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JqR3GVqib4

My desk was moved up to the Mezzanine level in the building a couple of months ago.  I was walking on the main floor and stopped to chat with a co-worker.

E: I never get to see you anymore!

G: We still hear you though.

Me: So glad you're back, G! (He has been back for a week.)

10 min later, I laughed real hard at something and I got an IM instantly.

G: Something funny?

Had some really good meetings with a partner early in the week.  When we went out for dinner though, this ginger bread house was in the lobby.  Pretty cool huh?

I agreed to help Lucas with his paper.  When I opened the file, I totally laughed right out loud.

On Friday (Yeah, I'm skipping to Friday here), I met up with some old WizKids people to say farewell to Seth and his family.  It was lovely to catch up with old friends, to be sure.  I think the funniest thing I heard that evening was from Jon and Julia.

Julia: Mom loves candles at restaurants.

Jon: She's always telling the waiter to light the candle, and we're all, Mom, it’s noon.

I also missed a call from Lucas that evening, but he managed to catch me by calling him mom and handing thing phone over.  Naturally, I got a little worried like something might be wrong or at the very least, wrong.

Lucas: I'm on a Cameron Crowe kick.  Should I watch Jerry Maguire for free or rent We Bought a Zoo for $3.99?

Saturday, Percy and I met up with Kelly, her mom, her godmother, her godmother's friend, Tyler and his family for the Urban Craft Uprising.  I only bought one thing for Dawne which she probably won't like; unlike the rest of the crew who bought lots of fun things.  Then we grabbed a lovely lunch.  I was actually in a crazy ton of pain the whole time because I got a cortisone shot in my foot the day before, and I'm pretty sure he shoved it further in because I complained more.  That sound bad, but later I would realize he did me a favor because it feels FANTASTIC!   Oh, yeah, Percy was pretty eager to get to the Urban Craft Uprising, btw.

Saturday night, I invited Kelly over for dinner and the 4th Harry Potter movie.  But then, when she got to the house, I forced her to help me crush Oreo's for my holiday gift for my co-workers.  She complained about being an indentured servant and her tetanus arm.  And then she told on me the next day to her parents.  I agreed to give her credit for her work, but she never told me to leave out the part where she was dramatic about it. 

On Sunday, I met up with Kelly and her parents at the dog park where we enjoyed the joy that is Marymoor.  I thought their aussie would want to hang out with Casper more, but apparently driving Kelly's dog Piper crazy was more her style.  And then I took a nice little nap with my nap buddy.  Fake sleeping selfie:

I finished up my day with a call from my nephew Kevin, excited about the Hot Dog Maker I got him.  My sister then jumped on the phone to let me know it was his favorite birthday gift, and she had gotten him Giant tickets.