Monday, August 22, 2011

Crazy Pre-Head Trauma

Zach: I can’t. I need to pack and Derek and Alexander are coming over.
Nate: That doesn’t sound like packing.
Lucas: Know what does sound like packing? Snacking.
Nate: I can see Tiffany mentally remembering this conversation. (So true, Nate.)

Zach, sitting in the living room with Derek and Alexander, mid-conversation, puts an airplane pillow around his neck (honestly, no idea where he was hiding it before then.) Derek: How’s that going? Gonna take a nap?

We had a company picnic on Thursday and I was explaining how I’m not memorable, and during the polite protests of this statement, THREE guys sat down at our table, all guys I had met before, and introduced themselves to me.  I know I like to be right, but sometimes the instant gratification isn’t worth the blow to my fragile ego. 

Thursday night, we went to see Les Miserables, which I have always wanted to see.  Maybe my expectations were too high because I was very aware of the fact that someone had tried to shove an epic novel into a play.   Before the play, I was meeting Laina and Rach for drink, but I got there early, and was going to grab a table at Purple, but it was totally packed.  The hostess suggested I grab a seat at the bar because there was a couple who was leaving shortly and I could grab those two for my friends.  I don’t know if you know this about me, but I despise saving seats for people, and I hate it even more when I’m telling 20 people they can’t sit down, and then I have to watch them staring at me as they stand by the door waiting for a free seat.  Knowing myself, I totally should have turned right around and went somewhere else, or even just waited outside would have been fine.  But, nooooo I had to try to test my limits and be a stronger person.  Only, I’m not a stronger person, and my limits are obvious.  So… Sorry Laina and Rach for being at the verge of tears when you showed up.

Becky: My office is so cold that I have a Hotties Handwarmer in each cup of my bra.

(Friday Morning)
Me: Okay guys.  Check ya later! Have a great day!
Lucas: Where are you going?
Me: Work.
Lucas: I thought it was Saturday.
Uncle Ray: I’m with you Luke.  I had no idea why she would be going to work on Saturday.

I had about 5 minutes on Friday when I thought I was going to a Weezer concert.  But then I told Laina, that if someone else, who is a bigger fan wanted to go, I would totally understand. 

me:  Plus I'm now listening to them on Youtube, which is the same thing.
Laina:  well, if you stand up and watch every video they've ever made, then yes, it's just about the same thing.
me:  I'll jump around a bit too, for extra measure. ooh and wrap pillows around me so that it feels like I'm crowded in a mosh pit!

Don’t you hate when you find yourself doing something completely ridiculous and dumb, and you have no way of stopping the events from unfolding?  Me too.  I went to lunch with this new friend, Kelly, at work (I say this so that you know that she isn’t even used to my normal ridiculous.)  We went to order, and I wanted a salad, but not one of those huge salads with the tostada bowls – I wanted more lettuce, less bread products.  So I saw that there were salads that were ¼ of the price of the tostada salads. I assumed the price was indicative of the size of the salad – and I figured I would circumvent the system by just getting two of these tiny salads and end up with a plate of lettuce.   Yea, as you can imagine, that is not what happened.  What happened was I got two big plates of food.   My first thought was, if I’m going to have two plates, I might as well have three, and when the guy wasn’t looking, I grabbed an extra plate.  Now, there I am sitting with my new friend, with massive amounts of food in front of me all for under 5 dollars, as I proceed to take just the salad/lettuce bits and put then on my contraband plate.  Ultimately, I ended up with what I wanted, but new friend thinks I’m a whack-a-doo.

 Evivova:  ha-ha.  you always had interesting eating habits.
 me:  and you never failed to judge me for them.
 Evivova:  Joe was eating a Kit Kat bar "weirdly" the other day and I told him how you would eat Reese’s and Lucky Charms and you would make your ice cream soupy too.
 me:  Yea because I wanted to eat the ice cream first and then the sprinkles and choc separately because if you mix the choc with the ice cream you turn the vanilla into choc ice cream.
 Evivova:  omg I did NOT know that was the reason!!
 me:  What did you think i was doing?
 Evivova:  I had no idea
 me: also, I like eating the choc first on the Reese’s, because I don't really love milk choc but I love the PB (it’s totally more sugary than normal pb)
They made a whole campaign about people eating Reese’s differently so I'm not alone. Kit Kats fall into wafer category and are much better if you eat it layer by layer.
 Evivova:  yeah, Joe was eating the choc off the Kit Kat and leaving the wafer for last I was like what the heck is happening here?
 Me:  did he split the wafer?
 Evivova:  I couldn't even look.
 Me:  You have to eat the choc around it to split the wafer.
 Evivova:  It took me 2 seconds to eat mine.. and he was still at it like 2 min later.
 Me:  There's just no other way-- see that’s the point---you enjoy it for longer -- it’s a whole project.
 Evivova:  "no other way"  ha-ha  crunch crunch I’m done.
 Me:  no there’s no other way to split the wafer without eating the choc first. also, snickers, I think taste better if you separate the nougat from the caramel / peanuts it’s like TWO candy bars then. I guess you could do it with a knife if you had one handy but I never do.
 Evivova:  omg ha-ha
 Me:  lucky charms, the marshmallows taste better soaked, so it’s just natural you would eat the healthy bits first.
 Evivova:  but then the milk turns pink  "just natural"
 Me:  it will turn green actually no matter how you eat them.
 Evivova:  you are full of info.  are you sure its green? i thought the balloons would make it pink.
 Me:  I'm just trying to enlighten you.   and yes, I had lucky charms for breakfast.
 Evivova:  I guess these are things I never learned.. just eating things blind like I do.

Kelly, despite my weirdness, still wanted me to go to happy hour on Friday with her and a bunch of work people for a farewell to a person I had never met before.  Gotta love those quick “Hi! Bye’s!”  A VP from Pokemon walked in, and I waved wildly at him, (yes he remembered me) but then I remembered I was wearing my “Caught ‘em All Shirt.”  What are the chances?  Also, I met this other guy on one of my first days here, and after the meeting, I asked him if he was from the east coast.  When he asked how I knew that, I said it was because he was wearing a watch.  At the bar, months later, he showed me his wrist, watch free.  Who knew I could get someone to abandon their roots so easily!  On our way back to the car, Kelly unwrapped a mint and announced that she was just going to throw it on the ground. (When we were little, Evivova would do this to me all the time.  She would announce that she was leaving her trash in a park, KNOWING that I run back and pick it up.)  Before I had a chance to go pick up Kelly’s trash, a father turned to the 2 year old in his arms and said, “Do you see that?  That’s LITTERING. Only bad people litter.”  Then at he looked at me and laughed – which made me laugh… the entire time that I was walking around the car to pick up the wrapper (and yes, it had fallen under my car—which only made the guy laugh harder.)

After Happy Hour, Becky came over and we totally had a midnight swim.  Okay, it wasn’t midnight when she came over, but it definitely was by the time she left. 

Saturday morning, Uncle Ray asked Lucas how his night was, but he was almost giggling (if Uncle Ray giggled) when he asked.
Lucas: Fine…why?
Uncle Ray:  You came into our room from the outside door, asking where your mom was. Grandma said you were sleep walking, but I didn’t think you were.
Lucas: Def. sleep walking.  I don’t remember that at all. At least I had clothes on, right?
Me and Jordan simultaneously: RIGHT!?

Then Luke and I took the dog to the dog park, where Nala (the 3 pound Yorkie) got stepped on by a Great Dane.  I honestly don’t know how she survived, but when I picked her up, the Great Dane came over to me, and I swear, if he could talk, he would have said, “I’m real sorry, ma’am.  I didn’t even know they made living things that small until I heard her yelp.  Forgive me?” 

Frita called me also to tell me that when he was on the boat with Sean and Stacey and the girls (on the Hudson) the girls were asking to swim and Stacey said, “You have to wait until we get to the nuclear power plant.”  And she was dead serious.  My dad was laughing, but it really is warmer and calmer over there… plus, as my dad mentioned, it’s easier to see the kids because they glow. 

Shane, Cathy, & Matty came over to hang out in the pool/lake later that afternoon which was pretty sweet (really that we were finally getting a couple summer days.)  But I had to jump ship early to meet people for dinner and Conan the Barbarian.  Before I left Jordan said, “Say Hi! to Thunder chest for me.” And I had to pause because the first thing I thought of was, “Is that a new nick name for one of my friends? Because Shana isn’t going tonight.”

When we were buying the tickets a kid was clutching an iPhone.
Crying kid: I dropped it!
Dad: But I told you not to drop it.
And obviously, that always prevents accidents.

Conan, was of course, very bloody.  So, when my roommate from college, who passes out at the idea of blood, told me yesterday that she has shingles, I told her it would be to her advantage to see the movie and get two hours of unconscious bliss. 

 Speaking of accidents, on Sunday, when I was getting ready to go to the dog park for round two, I put sunglasses on top of my head.  Then I went to put the dog in the back seat, and I guess I have good judgment of where my head is without sunglasses but not with, because I totally rammed the sunglasses into my head.  I am telling you this story, because 24 hours later, it still hurts.  Right now.  Without touching it.  Very unfortunate.  And I can’t even see the damage (maybe that’s better?)

That might be it for my stories (though you did get to learn a lot more about the inner workings of me today—not sure if that’s a good thing.)  Sunday was pretty lazy.  Laundry, Boat, Reading – kind of perfect actually.  J   

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