Jen Sure Knows How to Ruin a Baby Shower...

We were all scheduled to go to a “Sing it for me, Baby” shower for Jen on Sunday (I was going to sing a beautiful rendition of “Papa Don’t Preach”) when we got a call telling us that Jen decided to have a baby 5 weeks early instead.  Juniper Amelia was born last night at 8:08, at 6 lbs 3.7 oz and 18 Inches long.   I can’t wait for her to see what I got her.  J

Me: Jen had her baby last night.

Lucas: Already!?

Me: Well that's why we had to cancel the shower.

Lucas: I know, but that was REALLY quick.

Me: I don't think Jen thought so. Her name is Juniper Amelia.

Lucas: Like Benny and Joon. NICE!

Rach: Here is something that might cheer you up.  As part of the unending saga of Rachel doing ridiculous outlandish things…I honked at a police officer today because he was driving like a jerk.  Then I pointed at him and gave him a stern look.   Then I got nervous that he’d pull me over for it.  So I smiled at him as a passed by. 

I saw a post from a friend from HS last week, who has 1 year old twins and is pregnant with another set of twins. “My original goal to get to 32 weeks and still be working out was accomplished. Currently 34.5 weeks and still doing 20 mins of cardio and light weight training daily. I've had to modify along the way but feeling healthy and happy! New goal is 36 weeks!”  Dude.  I worked out once this week and was so proud of myself; I took the rest of the week off. 

Alright, so I went to class on Wednesday (nothing too exciting.  I did write a story with, “Whore’d herself up” in it and decided it wasn’t quite “Children Story” worthy.)  Thursday, Dawne threw Jordan a Toy Story themed party (complete with themed goodie bags, decorations and cake) in which we had a game-a-thon of games from when we were younger including Sorry, Kerplunk, Operation and Pin the Sheriff Badge on Woody.  It was around 10, we were all still hanging out around the table when Zach said, “Man, I can’t believe Nate didn’t come down from his room for this.”  (Nate is in Chicago.) 

I don’t know if you remember when Zach slept in his parent’s bed and proclaimed that their sheets were like Unicorn Skin.  Well, my friends, I invested in some Unicorn Skin and it is all that he promised and more.  I blew off Rach on Friday night (she gave me an out… never give me any reason to stay home, especially when I’ve just put Unicorn Skin on my bed.) As I was nestled snuggly swaddled by the finest Unicorn Skin in the land, I texted Rach to tell her how happy I was to not to be hanging out with her –I’m sure she loved that.)   I was discussing my Unicorn Skin when I went over to hang out with Shane and Cathy, and Dawne told me that 1600 thread count wasn’t the finest in the land.   That in fact what I had was essentially old decrepit Unicorn Skin, and that she had baby Unicorns that were made of 2000 thread count.  WANT.  We told Cathy that Unicorns come in all different colors and patterns (it’s not a wildly known fact.)  Cathy asked us if we owned Snuggies .  I actually do, but I think I might be the only one.  She was disappointed because she imagines us all sitting around in our own snuggies in front of the TV.  That’s when I had a brilliant idea.  I’ll make my own Snuggies (improved because they’ll have a little pocket on the bottom to ensure the warmth of your toes).  Also, they will be made of Unicorn Skin™, with some kind of warmer (soft fuzzy Reindeer?) material on the outside so you also have the weight on top of the silkiness.  Cathy suggested a hood with a single horn, but that’s clearly absurd. 

On Saturday night I went over to Rach’s for her roommate Kyle’s birthday.  I met one chick who didn’t have facebook, so we made verbal agreement to be friends.  (I actually said, Do you accept my friend request? and she did.)  I don’t know many of you are familiar with life in Seattle, but I have encountered many openly disapproving judgments when I have let it be known that I’m Catholic.  Rach and I were chatting up Kyle’s friend Chris who was not pleased by how amusing we found one another.  Chris was telling us about one of his friends and dropped in, “He’s Catholic” like it was a bad thing. 

Rach and I simultaneously: We’re Catholic.

Chris: Ugh.  Okay, well he even wears one of those Catholic Medallions.

Me: Like a cross?

Chris: No like, a Medallion.  With a saint and everything. 

Me (showing him my necklace with the virgin Mary medallion on it): Like this?

Chris: What is that? A bumble bee?

Kyle’s Friend: I ain't whipped.

Me to Rach: Where are we?

Rach:  “I also don't know English.”

Me: Let’s just sit back and judge, my friend.

Bryan: What is your website called?

Me: SweetandSarcastic.com, but it’s mostly sarcastic.

Rach: Even the sweet part is sarcastic.

Me (outraged): I can be sweet!

Rach: Oh.  Sure.  But I just figured the name was because your mom wants you to be sweet, but you’re actually sarcastic. 

Me: : ) That honestly never occurred to me.   

As usual, there was a lot of giggling and a lot of jealous stares.  It’s just what Rach and I have learned to live with. 

I have every intention of rewriting Jordan’s Wikipedia page.  As we were reading the current page out loud, and his sons were learning all sorts of things about their father, Lucas paused and said, “I can't believe they let you have a Wikipedia page and not me. I’m not trying to be insulting.  It’s not that I don’t think you should have one, it’s just that I am so overwhelmingly awesome that I can’t believe I don’t also have one.”

Lucas doing vocab: Indolence.  This describes my relationship with school perfectly, and Arda’s relationship with life. 

Seeing as my schedule was completely free on Sunday, Lucas and I decided to go hunt down where the Uwajimaya is located.  We eventually found it (it’s twice as big and twice as awesome.)  On our way back to the car Lucas commented, “This wind is vicious… especially with my cut offs.” 

Me: This baby really messed up my plans for the day.

Zach: I don’t know what you’re complaining about.  You’ve been hanging out with me all day.
Me: And what have you done to entertain me?

Zach: We watched TV.

Me: You didn’t put that on, I did.