Friday, July 20, 2012

I will patronize you anytime.

I had never heard of Chick-Fil-A until college, and I’ve never once pronounced its name properly.  That’s really my one and only Chick- Fill- Aaah story. 

I was walking quickly back to my desk the other day, hit my hand against a table, and now it is completely bruised.  In case anyone was wondering what kind of work week I have been having.  (Actually, that was probably the worst part of my week, but still.  OUCH.)

Naturally, when you first watch Gilmore Girls, you’re going to start rooting for the Girls to end up with certain guys. Granted I know who ends up with who – but I’ve made it half way through the summer without blurting out the truth.  Either way, Colin is a big fan of Rory ending up with Dean (first season, typical.)
Colin: Look at that guy, He has a swagger!
Lucas: I thought it was swagga.
Colin: Swagger is for boys.  Class is for men.
Wait, what?

On Tuesday, I went to see Steel Panther with Laina, Shana, Kyle (Dr. Rach’s roommate) and Glenn (who works with Shana). Actually, I went for drinks and apps with Michael, Shana and Glenn first where we were chummy with the bartender, played “What’s in this drink” and taste tested gins.  Then we met Laina and Kyle across the street from Showbox SoDo.  Now, I knew zero about this band before I arrived at the concert due to my “I’m free and someone I like wants to hang out with me – OF COURSE I’ll go! (and find out what it is later)” Policy. (I should shorten that policy name, to “I’m In!”)   Shana and Laina just kept telling me it would be awesome, Kyle went into a little more detail – but ultimately it was a surprise rollercoaster of rock and profanity.  I’d post a video, but it’s not something I want to share with the parentals.  I thought the funniest thing they said was at the very beginning when they announced that they were among the top 25 metal bands… from Burbank. 

On Thursday evening I came home late from work and got wrangled into watching Singham with Zach and his friends.  This is Zach’s favorite movie.  I thought it would be terrible, but it actually wasn’t the worst movie that I have ever seen. (I know.  I always know how to sugar coat things.) 

On Saturday, I woke up early, took the dogs to the park, called my parents, took Luke to Renton and thought I was meeting people early and then found out I had 4 hours on my hands.  My mom told me, when I called her, that Frita had a 1982 yearbook out to “study” for a reunion at Byram Hills (he was Vice Principal that year.)
Frita: What other people call reminiscing, I call recalling. 
Momela:  I call it memorizing. 
Me: I call it adorable. 

Then, because I had 4 hours of free time, I naturally got distracted and ended up being 45 minutes late meeting up with Laina, Shana and Dr. Rach at Nordstrom’s.  We were having a bit of a shopping spree with Sammy, a personal shopper type person who works at Nordstrom.  I’m not entirely sure how I got to a point in my life that I can describe my day like that, but there it is. 

I wasn’t really sure what to do with myself.  We had been walking around for 30 minutes, and all of my friend’s had armful’s of options to try on.
Me:  Do any of you want help carrying something? My hands are empty. 
Sammy: No, no.  You're here to lift our spirits with your presence.
That’s the only lifting that I want to do from this day forward.

Shana and I got the large fitting room, AKA “The Party Room.”  As soon as we were escorted into our dressing room, however, we heard Rach yell, “My name is Rachel and I also like to party.”  Noted, but I’m not comfortable trying on bras around you Rach.  Sorry.   We shopped for around 5 hours and as we were checking out…

Sammy: Thank you for your patronage
Rach: You’re welcome. I will patronize you anytime.

And then, I started using my Chase bank app to send checks to Laina and Rach. 

Laina: So this check you sent me it'll show up like a regular check.
Rach: And it'll bounce like a regular check!
Shana: We just had a Shane moment.
Rach: I laughed at my own joke?
Shana: No. I said it'll be bad just like a regular check right before you said it would bounce like a regular check, only louder. 
Classic Shane.  Actually, I’ll do it too if I can get away with it.  Who wouldn’t?

No one was talking, when Laina said, “My favorite purchase, thanks for asking, were my Bangles.”   My favorite of Laina’s purchases, thanks for asking, were her neon pink stiletto’s. 

As we were leaving dinner I told my friends, “I'm going to go home and wear my cape, clogs and my bras. No pants though. I didn't find any I liked.”  Like a cape wearing, gangsta.

I got a call, right in the middle of this shopping spree, from none other than Julie, my roommate from college. 
Julie: Nick (her husband) is stomping plums in the basement (of their new house.)
Me: Is he wearing plastic over his feet?  Can you make an alcoholic beverage out of Plums?
Julie: He has covered his feet so they are sanitary.  We have a plum tree in the back yard, and he talked to someone at work about making plum “wine”, so he gathered some plums and now he’s stomping them.
Me: How does he have time for this? Doesn’t he have a baby he needs to change?
Nick (from the background): Shut up. 

I can’t wait to get a bottle of home brewed Plum whatever for Christmas!! (Gee, I hope I was supportive enough to warrant such a gift.)

On Sunday, I actually woke up before the dogs.  They spend every morning waking people up, so I decided to show them how it feels by cheerfully waking THEM up.  (I don’t know why this pleased me so much, but it did.) Then I immediately get them fed and we headed out to the dog park, and I was back at the house by 9:30.  I got a text asking how brunch was, and as I was typing, “I don’t have brunch plans…” Shana asked me to join her and Jen for brunch.  Don’t mind if I do!

Jen was cutting a waffle for Lily, and it was a particularly rough job.  We were talking about how Lily was going to start trying to cut her own food – which I totally approved of (as I still have a hard time cutting my own food.) 

As Jen was cutting, her finger started hurting, which I totally empathized with because of that time I got a blister making pea soup.  Anyway… mid-cut:

Jen: You know what they did here? They beat their batter too long.
Shana: Hey o!
Jen: That's what I love you.
Looking at my disapproving face.
Jen/Shana (because they were both laughing at me): Heh, Tiffany.

Me: So Lily, what is going on with you?
Lily: Yesterday, I had this peach drink...
Jen: It's called schnapps.

I’m pretty sure the rest of Sunday was dedicated to finishing Game of Thrones and other TV necessities.  Oh and Nate and Uncle Ray argued about politics, as I tried to explain to our house guests that arguing makes them happy.  Not to mention the fact that they are only allowed to talk about politics when Dawne is out of town and she was getting back from SDCC on Sunday night. 

Zach: Did you know that 100% of the people in Europe are related to Charlemagne?  Isn’t that crazy?
Nate: That guy got around.

Thanks for being patient, ya’ll. Oh! Wait! Who wants to watch Se7en with me this weekend?  Call me! (Roy, I totally just said that in that creepy Family Guy voice.  See, I do miss you. 
J )

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