Monday, May 18, 2020

I Miss Your Face

5/11 – 5/17

Hi Friend!

First, I have to share something from today, b/c it’s hilarious.  I got this in the mail, and I’m still giggling:

We had lots of fun birthday’s last week!  Frita, Mo, Kyle, Uncle Jack, Debina, Becky to mention a few. 😊

Mo was grocery shopping when she saw a cake covered in sprinkles that contained blue and white frosting, and thought “It’ll be like eating a unicorn!,” and she decided to buy it for herself.

Patrick: What’s the cake for?
Mo: Me
Patrick: You already have a cake.
Mo: There are two of us! If you want two cakes you can have two cakes.
Patrick: You’re having three cakes!
Mo: There are multiple birthdays!
--enter Kevin---
Kevin: What’s the cake for?
Mo: Me
Kevin: You already have a cake.
Mo: There are two of us! If you want two cakes you can have two cakes.
Kevin: You’re having three cakes!
Mo: There are multiple birthdays!
Kyle: Can we have one today then?

Sean had gotten Mo this huge cast iron skillet, and they made steaks, with sides from Ruths Chris’ and then a former student, (now the mom of someone who Mo is tutoring), dropped off a bottle of wine to make the evening perfect.  When I called at the end of the evening, Mo told me that for the first time ever, she drank a whole bottle of wine on her own (I wish I could say I’ve only done that once) and then decided to try two different shots from her Nipyata (Piñata filled with booze).  When I saw Kyle in the background of the call, I told him he needed to run next door to my parents house and get the emergen-c for his mom because she had school the next day, and I love her. 

It’s been two and half months of Teams meetings without incident, so I guess I was due.  First, I thought I had muted a meeting with a partner (it was still early before all 15 people joined), so I listened to a voicemail from a cousin asking help joining the video party I was throwing for my Uncle Jack’s 80th birthday … only to realize I did not mute my mic, just shut the volume off on my speakers. (I didn’t admit it was me so I think I got away with it.) Then, less than 24 hours later, it was a round 6PM and I decided to shut my computer off, close my phone and pee.  Only, while I was peeing I heard something in the living room -  where I left my phone and computer.  I ran out to find that inexplicably I HAD CALLED A CO-WORKER, and they could definitely hear me peeing (I know because the next time I needed to pee, I tried to record it from the same spot, and it was audible.) 

Let’s see, what other fun, embarrassing stories do I have for you?  Ah, yes, I was ghosted! Mo suggested I e-meet her BFF’s brother-in-law, Pete.  He was pre-vetted, which is always nice, and after chatting with him every day for 3 weeks, I could confirm that he was genuinely a decent and amusing human – which makes for a lovely distraction during a pandemic.  That is until I was abruptly ghosted.  I’ve had some time since to remind myself that I am a joy and a delight, and not completely pathetic, which is why I am able to now say:  “There wasn’t a Tiff, it just Petered out.” *ba dum tss*

I signed Frita up for Hello Fresh for his birthday.  I thought it might be a good activity while we’re all home (and maybe better than trying to find recipes to go with the pre-existing, possibly expired, ingredients in the pantry.)  I think my mom was most dubious, but after a bit of anxiety from Frita, (and a brief bout of panic when he couldn’t open a jar of balsamic vinegar) it sounds like he was totally successful with three meals!  Win!  

On Saturday, I finally admitted I would be working from home for a while and picked up my work chair and monitor and xbox and properly set up my desk at home.  Then, I stood in the street and recorded Becky taking a swing at her Nipyata.  I also brought her the Christmas present that had been on my desk since December!  I’m including the directions for the Nipyata below because they really were hilarious.

About a week ago, I was telling the fam that I really don’t like being told what to do.  If someone asks me to do something, it is highly likely that I will say yes, but if you tell me to do something, I totally don’t want to do it.  I guess I just like people recognizing that I don’t have to do anything for you.  It’s a fine line, but imperative for me. 

Me: Hey Zach, Sooooo I am starting to read HP.  Was there a reason you wanted me to read it again? 
Zach: When we were talking about work, you said as soon as someone told you to do something you automatically hated it.  So, I was testing your hypothesis… so are you hating the books?

Ugh… Jerk tried to ruin reading and HP for me! He is so lucky it didn’t work.

I was telling some friends this on Sunday, and then we were talking about when we all moved out here, and that Dr. Rach arrived in 2005.
Me: I told you before then, though, that we were going to be best friends.  Did me telling you that make you not want to be BFF’s?
Rach: No, I liked it.
Me: So, it was more like a prophecy. 

Then I sent her this.  Which is pretty much exactly how things went down. 

Tried to go back in time, but not much happened….

May 2019
Clearly, I was going on a first date this week a year ago because this exchange happened:
Him: Not far but I’m not familiar with it.  I know of some around my area/place.  So I guess you gotta come here.
Me: Where are you thinking?  Ideally some where really public and busy in case you’re a murderer.

(I remember this exchange and the date not going well.)

May 2017

Sean picked up Kyle from practice and brought him shopping for his birthday present.  This is the text Maureen got:
Sean: Can Kyle have a hunting knife?
Mo: God NO!!
Sean: Lol

And here are my amusements from this week:

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