Monday, May 4, 2020

I Will

4/27 – 5/3

On Tuesday, I had to suddenly turn my camera off during a meeting so I could run Percy outside before he started getting sick.. and sick.. and sick for 45 minutes.  I tried to rinse him off before jumping in the car to the vet (yes, it was that bad.)  At the vet, you basically wait in the car and then they call you with updates so the doctor calls me to say, “You’re girl is doing great.  She’s real pretty.  I had a little trouble finding her ears under all this fur, oh wait, she’s a boy!” Off to a great start, they pumped him full of drugs and sent me home with a bag of meds.  It’s a week later, and he’s still not really himself, but hoping when he’s off the meds he’ll get his appetite back.  Definitely falls under the category of the “Wrong kind of excitement.”

Becky hit her own personal wall earlier in the week, and took a personal day – part of which she spent by coming over and sitting in the parking lot chatting with me at a safe distance.  I told her how I’ve been hoarding Mike’s Hard Lemonade and Gin & Tonic.  She told me I sounded like I was confused on whether or not I was a 19 year old kid or a 90 year old.  #accurate.

Back to the subject of dating during these crazy times, Becky and I decided what the world needs are some good pick-up lines on top of strategies like, ”Whoops!  I spilled my beer on your hand!” before holding hands.  It was a group effort, but we have these for you: "Did you just take my breath away, or is that Covid 19 in my lungs?" and "If Covid 19 doesn't take you out, can I?" 

Friday, I decided/was highly encouraged to create a will.  Later in the day, I was talking to Bailey when I heard her mom in the background and asked to speak with Stacey.

Me: You’ve had to deal with wills lately. Do you have to tell someone beforehand that you’ve put them down as your person in your will, or do you just wait for when you die and let it be a surprise that they will have a lot of work to do?
Stacey: You don’t have to, but generally people give a heads up, especially if there are kids involved.
Me: Hmmm, okay… Can I talk to Sean, then?

I told Maureen that she’s getting my car.
Momela: Did you specify which car?
Me: Nope just “car.”
Patrick: You’re going to just end up with a driveway full of 20 year old cars from when people die. 
Me: I sure hope she doesn’t get it for at least another 20 years!

So, I have been FaceTiming with the NY fam a lot and on Friday, I was like a fly on the wall while they played Canasta.  Earlier in the week, I got groceries delivered, and once again I was completely surprised by what arrived – including Past Me thinking that I had the energy and inclination to make some stir fry (I also had a lime delivery, so maybe I was drunk when I filled my digital cart?) Either way, I managed to cook stir fry while chatting, and I stopped to show how convenient it was that I didn’t have to cook the rice, and that the red, green and yellow peppers were already finely cut for me.  My mother’s only comment was that I would not wear poverty well.  #accurate.

By the time Saturday rolled around, I was getting pretty stressed that Percy hadn’t eaten in so long, so I brought Percy over to Dawne’s to see if he might be enticed to eat if Nala was around.  (Dawne sat down to hand feed them, and tried to be really encouraging, to which Percy responded by coming up to her, kissing her nose and then walked a couple of feet away and sat down to look at her as if to say, “I really love you, but I’m not into eating right now.”  (Eventually, with some meds, Dawne got him to eat, so yay!)

Me: What are you doing today?
Dawne: I really want to be happy.
Me: Maybe we should lower your expectations.

I brought over a puzzle and a game in an effort to help in the effort.  We had lunch, then sat down to try to do some craft melty beads (I don’t know what they are called, and started the puzzle.)

Jordan: I’m just saying, technically, female dogs are called bitches
Dawne: I’m just saying, stop saying mean things about my dog.
Lucas: Technically divorced men are called…
Jordan: …Rarely

After Jordan, repeatedly tried to yell at Alexa to get her to play a specific radio station…
Lucas: I have never been less confident about androids taking over the world.

The puzzle was seriously awful.   It was a 3D lenticular. None of the pieces actual fit together, the picture changed so you couldn’t tell what was on the piece or if it matched, and you had to tape them together.  Jordan gave up doing the edges about 20 min in, and even when we got to a point where there were three pieces left, neither of us cared enough to finish.  And when we did finish, it still looked terrible.  I’m fairly certain that my mom was getting back at me for the mini-puzzle I got her – and we did, for half a second – thought about wrapping it up for Christmas next year.

Dawne: I’m going to turn the lights off, I think that’s the only way we’re going to get a good picture.
Dawne: This is the worst puzzle we have ever done.  Ever. ever. ever.
Me: Glad I could make you happy!
Lucas: Remember when you came in saying you had all these things to make her happy?
Me: That was a different time.
Dawne: I always keep puzzles, but this one…
Me: yeah, let’s throw it in the trash as soon as possible.

And we all helped Lucas try to build this cool album cover with the melty beads, which also took hours and hours.  And when he went to iron it to melt the beads, it was a disaster.  It was too big, and the design warped and fell apart, refused to melt together properly. 

Lucas: Have you ever had a less rewarding day?

It should be noted that I thought all of it was hilarious, and honestly the day was better than most.  When I got home, as I was walking to my door and pulling out my keys, it had been so long since I left and locked my door that I had to think really hard because … I had actually forgotten which key opens my house.

Sunday was pretty chill.  I didn’t do anything productive, and that was nice – although I did get up at 7 am, like a maniac.  And the day ended with Dr. Rach calling and we lolled real hard. 

Not a super crazy week, even if I jump through  time for the last two years – but it is the anniversary of the disappointing box of broken glass I got, when I thought I was getting a super cool Quidditch piece from someone on Etsy.  Luckily, this DIY home project was much more rewarding than this past weekend.  Before and after shots of one of my favorite HP wall accessories…

And finally here are some things I found funny this week!

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