Monday, December 7, 2009

Knotty Bodies


I’m headed home to New York this weekend for the Christmas Party (I sure hope you are coming!), which gives me an ever so slight opportunity to insert the latest craze—according to Shana and the New Yorker:
In other chest related news… I went to the Nutcracker yesterday (bare (bear?) with me, the chest part doesn’t come in until the end, and I don’t want this to sound creepy) and I was telling Nate how completely jealous I am of all of the pretty holiday dresses available for little girls and how I wanted them to be my size.  I continuously pointed out dresses that I wanted only to be shut down repeatedly as Nate told me that under no circumstances could I have any of the dresses.  I thought this was particularly harsh and asked him why he was slaying my fashion dreams.  And then he hit me with “Little girl dresses are designed for little girls.  You and your chest would never be accommodated.”  Saaaaaaad face.   I suppose I’m off to Nordstrom’s tonight for a dress that will compete with all that man cleavage. 


Okay fine, not too much cleavage of course… I do want those gents at the speed dating on Wednesday to also notice my pretty blue or green or gray eyes. 


Some people from Chicago were in town over the weekend.  We hit up the Seattle Urban Craft Uprising—which was, to me, the epitome of what Seattle is.  Although Tina warned me that it sounded like just recycled crap made into a hat or fancy handbag, I personally thought the “trash” bags were rather chic.  We also went to Urban Outfitters and got some outfits for the young lady visiting and I kept wondering if I had it in me to be that “hip” seeing as I had never been “hip” before.  Can you just wake up one day and pull off a whole new look?  I figure though, now that we’re in that weird fashion phase that is basically a spin-off of an old lady look, I think I might be time to jump on board.  I should do it quick though… Luke was merciless in his mockery of my cowboy boots yesterday.


In this miserable economy, Janette still seems to be a hot commodity (I know, I can’t even pretend that I am shocked) so I went over to help make a pro-con list on whether or not she should take a job in SF.  I walked into her apartment and explained that “I know when I was making these big life altering, job taking, moving decisions you were an amazing, selfless and supportive friend.  I, however, am NOT a good friend, and I am extremely selfish—but I’ll help you make the list anyway.”  I am nothing, if not forthcoming. 


Kevin was having his birthday party yesterday.  I had already spoken to Mo about it before I spoke to Kevin, so our phone conversation went like this:
K: Guess what we’re doing at my party?
T: I don’t know… what?
K: No… Guess!
T: Oh.. okay… hmmm Musical Chairs?
K: YES!!! Guess what else?
T: hmmm Scavenger Hunt?
K:YES!! WOW!  Can you guess what else??
(you can see where this is going… )

Sean’s Surprise Party was on Friday (Happy Belated AND Early Birthday, Birthday Boy!)


Bailey discovered the video on MSN on Friday… so before Sean’s surprise party started, she put us on video and brought us around to say hi.  My whole office was drinking some homemade Bailey’s… to which Stacey said “It’s only 2 o’clock there.” And we all yelled “Cheers!”


The girls were told to stay in the basement.  Remember when parents used to tell you to stay in the basement during parties… and even though you had everything you could want you spent the whole night trying to figure out how to get yourself upstairs?  Well, I provided that ticket of momentary freedom later when she took Dawne and I upstairs for a tour.  Happy to oblige. J

I can’t believe I can’t remember anything that happened to be before Friday of last week… but wasn’t it AIDS awareness something or other last week? 


I’m hooked on Caramel Brulee Lattes.  I’m inwardly sighing at my bad behavior… thank goodness it’s not going to be a lasting offering. So Bellevue got its first “Knotty Bodies” coffee place two weeks ago.  The drive through bodega down the street was torn down and rebuilt to include heat so that young women could adorn themselves with pushup bras and g-strings and serve the locals hot tasty beverages.  And, for two whole weeks, men would park their cars and line up at the drive thru for more oogling time until the community had an uprising and shut the place down.  I am thoroughly let down—not because I wanted to see the ladies make steamy lattes as men got hot and bothered… I just liked the idea of living in a place that thought “Knotty Bodies” was a cool establishment.  How is it that Seattle can have hundreds of naked bikers out in the summer sun, while 15 miles away we can’t have hottie bodies selling hot drinks? Bellevue, you are a disappointment.  (Remember, Janette, you live in Cool Seattle, not lame Bellevue, so this cannot go on the con list.)

Oddly enough I can’t find a card about serving coffee naked… or riding bikes naked… will this do?


And on that note… Happy Monday folks! 

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