Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Classic Girl With Classic Needs

Luke had a Halloween party Friday night in which a bunch of us were called upon to chaperone.  One parent walked right passed Diana and I and asked Dawne why there weren’t any chaperone’s there.  Dawne kindly explained to the mom that she was a ½ hour early and she had just passed two of the chaperones.  The mom didn’t believe Dawne and went up to the other house to see for herself exactly how many adults were in attendance. 

Jason and I were all too happy to yell at the kids in the pool, especially b/c we got flashlights to shine in their faces.  And when they asked “Why?” I just said, “Because I’m a jerk.  That’s why.”

Me: Do you think calling them “Bro” makes you cooler when you are yelling at them?
Jason: It was either “Bro” or “Hey pre-pubescent boy!”

At one point Jordan had his friend (who is a professional pyrotechnic) set off a full-on fireworks display.  Jason asked “Did Jordan just give instructions to put on such a spectacular show that the kids eventually got bored and started texting?” 

Marc asked if there was cake.  I told him that this was a Halloween party not a Birthday Party.  Jason said, “So after the live band, projector playing movies so you can watch them in the pool, fireworks, the pool itself, and s’mores by the lake what’s after this?  A roller derby in the back?” 

The entire 9th grade class was invited, I think around 75 kids showed up.  When a mom asked me about the attendance I just told them that Luke’s older brother used to have combined parties summing up to 400 kids so this was drop in the bucket (hey, I never count!)   One mom asked me if we were the parents.  I said yes thinking that parents=chaperones.  She thought I was Luke’s mom and I just went with it.  When she left, Jason said, “Did you tell her that yea, I’m Luke’s mom.  I conceived him when I was 14 at a party JUST LIKE THIS and I thought I would spread the joy to the next generation.”

As Jordan was talking to a parent at the end of the party and exchanging something… Jason asked “Is this the part of the night when Jordan pays off the parents for bringing their kids to his son’s party?”
Lynn and Marianna were standing guard at the “locker rooms” but at one point Lynn said “excuse me, where are you going?” only to find out the kid really was a girl she just LOOKED like a boy.  Whoops. 

Mark found great pleasure in flashing the flashlight into the kids faces while they were in the pool.  When I asked if they were misbehaving he replied, “Naw.  I just like annoying them b/c I’m an adult and they can’t do anything about it.”  At the end of the night, Marc did a walk around the house.  When he got back to us I asked if he found anything and he said “No.  Not really.  Just 2 syringes and a used condom.”

Luke’s band was playing but periodically the mic was given to a kid who wanted to just say things like “Amanda? Amanda? I love you.  I do. I love you.  Amanda.” Or just heavily breathe into the mic.  It was when someone was drumming their fingers absentmindedly on the mic that I couldn’t take it anymore.  

Despite the fact that Jason and Diana thought I was a stick in the mud, I walked up and said, “Hey you! With the tappy tap.  Ya you.  Sing or don’t sing.  But that tappy tap nonsense is just annoying.”  I deemed that kid “Tappy Tap” for the rest of the evening, and it turns out I was not the only one to reprimand him for annoying behavior.  I heart being a chaperone. 

Dawne proved her dislike for authority figures once again when the fire marshal arrived and asked about an illegal firework complaint to which Dawne said, “Fireworks. Really?  Hmm.” And walked away—and then surprisingly, so did the fire marshal. 

Over all, it was a pretty good 60’s beach party in October.  Though, naturally, all the girls showed up in tank tops and shorts, again to a pool party in October.  A couple kids didn’t bring suits (which I was happy to overhear other kids say to these select few “Dude, who doesn’t bring a swim suit to a pool party?” and I don’t think a single one of them brought towels.  Of course not.  Why would you?

We went to the Rally to Restore Sanity (Seattle) on Saturday despite the fact that all I wanted to do was sleep in.  At one point when they decided to have us listen to a boring Politian rather than the live feed of the DC Rally Jen decided to say, true to the spirit of the and in a sensible tone, “I am reasonably upset by this.” I’m glad that I went, but honestly I was not protesting when after 2 hours in the rain brunch was suggested.  Jen decided to get a “Magnolia” which was Champagne, OJ, Ice and Grand Marnier.  I passed and ordered a Mimosa stating clearly that “I am a classic girl with classic needs.”  I’m thinking about making this my motto.

Jamie and Patrick had a ghoulish party on Saturday night.  At the last minute, I forwent taking a nap, and made a new costume using only supplied in the house.  I really truly believed that my costume idea was brilliant and hilarious as I had decided to go as ghost of Paul the Psychic Octopus complete with “I predicted this” sign.  Dawne asked if my friends were worldly enough to get the reference.  Turns out I was wrong and she was right.

Jen came as a Baker and dressed 4 year old Lily as a cute cupcake.  Apparently her mother had suggested the costumes and told her to go door to door on Halloween night handing out Cake Envy business cards.  Jen said “Other than conceiving me out of wedlock this was the most brilliant idea my mother has ever had.” 

(PS Jen made more cool cakes for the party and hopefully she’ll update her cite in time for you to see them  Many people were oohing and ahhing saying that the cakes looked “Too good to cut” when Rach jumped in and said, “I’ll do it!” Thank you and it was delicious.)
In response to a picture of Zombie Patrick eating 5 year old Piper, Jeramy said, “Oh good you’re eating my child’s head.”

We played some Halloween themed Pictionary.  I tried to cherry pick my teammates by calling Dawne.  Then I realized she didn’t have her glasses with her so she wasn’t even going to able to read the clues. But she was extremely flattered which I guess is all that matters.  Laina drew the following and was thrilled when we got that it was plural. 

In case you didn’t guess what it was either, these were demons.  Laina thought about how demons sounds like lemons but couldn’t remember how to draw a lemon.  Ultimately she decided what was wrong was that she forgot arms.  Obviously, that’s what was missing. 

In other Laina news, today at Brunch Laina was telling us that after listening to her mother complaining about her sister for quite some time Laina finally interjected with “You should have worn a condom.”   

(As soon as I find my ballot that is…)

And thus brings us to the conclusion of part 2.  I am sure I missed a bunch b/c I had a really rockin’ good weekend but sometimes you just can’t capture it all in one place. 
Much love,
T O’B 

No comments:

Post a Comment