Monday, November 1, 2010

Exhibit A

I didn’t go to the Halloween Party last night and I felt really guilty about it.  I realize now that part of the reason why I don’t like to say no is b/c I don’t like to miss out on things.  And part of the reason is b/c I can hear my mother say “Why aren’t you going? Why don’t you want to be social?”  In high school, I would let slip that there was a party I was not attending and she would immediately jump into her “You should really go.  Just stop by and say hello.”  Me, “Mom, I just don’t want to go.  There will be drugs and alcohol and it’s just not my thing okay?” Momela, “You don’t have to participate in the drugs and alcohol just go and be social.”  I’m going to put “not attending every party I’m invited to” as exhibit A of disappointing my mother.  Becky was quick to reassure me by saying “You don’t need to go to every party but I bet that one on Sunday was super fun.” 

I also forgot to mention that I am finding more and more that people tell me their fears and then I, accidently forget that they have told me their deepest darkest fear, and then bring up said scary thing, and ultimately feel terrible about it.  Exhibit A, Michael told me he’s afraid of balloons.  I heard this fact, I registered it, asked him how he attends any of our parties when we always get at least 100 helium balloons to decorate (to which he said, “I know and it’s terrifying.” And then what did I go and do?  Have 6, 3 foot long, balloons taped to my costume on Saturday.  I suck and I’m sorry. 

Becky told me a ton of stories about her brother that I forgot to add b/c my email had already been split into 2 parts b/c I thought I was so entertaining that I thought you needed two doses.  Exhibit A, Becky’s brother is dating a scientist.  They have been dating for a while and they have recently been in quite a row over Plate Tectonics.  I was reminded of Ross and Pheobe’s argument over Evolution. I told Becky to send this very apropos video to her brother and his scientist and it failed to amuse.  Her brother said, “I hate that show” without watching it and Scientist said, Uh that doesn’t make sense.  We’re arguing about Plate Tectonics not Evolution!”

And Exhibit B, Becky, when she was 16 and just starting to drive told her brother he was annoying and she wasn’t driving him to school.  As he was walking down the driveway to the bus, she revved the engine and pretended like she was going to hit him.  Only, she was a new driver and she was on a gravel driveway, and didn’t realize it would take longer for her car to stop when she slammed on the brakes and her brother had to back up several steps and was still ultimately “hit by a car.”  She immediately yelled her apology and said, “Get in the car. I’ll drive you to school.” 

And Exhibit C, Becky’s brother has been kind of MIA when it comes to answering calls from his mother.  Finally, her mother called Becky and asked for Scientist’s phone number (I keep saying Scientist b/c her brother and his girlfriend are both named “Chris” and while that’s adorable, it’s incredibly annoying to a story-teller such as myself).  Becky, without hesitation, provided her mother with the Scientist’s phone number.  When later that evening her brother called, she thought it was about the information given so she immediately said, oh Mom called Chris huh?  Only Becky’s mom is shifty and was saving her prized information for when she could really use it to her advantage and thus Becky was able to anger her brother, freak out the Scientist and feel self-satisfied that she was the good kid who helps her mom whenever possible.  

When I sent out that picture of the Merlotte’s mug last week and mentioned it was given by Jordan, that was mostly b/c he wanted people to know that he loved his wife (in case we weren’t sure).  I was introduced to a VP last week who happened to be a huge Jordan fan—for the last 25 years.  He asked if I knew Jordan and I said “I kinda know him.”  Becky asked me if I then followed that with, “I don’t know much, but I do know that he got his wife a Merlotte’s mug, so he must really love his wife.”  Later that evening Jordan’s Wikipedia page came up (totally in a joking manner) and b/c Lucas has been banned from updating Wikipedia, I offered to help.  I also promised that I would add the gift mug as Exhibit A of the fact that he loves his wife but none of his other exhibits nor would I actually put anything factual or about his actual accomplishments.  Becky said she would confirm that I was credible source.  And done. 

Seriously.  Done for today.  I promise.  

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