Monday, January 24, 2011

I’m dying but whatevs

Becky: If you are able to say “I’m dying but whatevs.” You shouldn’t be using WebMD.
T O’B: On the contrary, I think I am the ideal demographic.

(Ten minutes later in my inbox I found)

Here’s the filter:
When you say “I think I’m dying…” you would also follow up with which phrase:
a)      “…please call 911.”
b)      “…what do you think of this rash?”
c)       “…because I can’t feel my legs.”
d)      “…but whatev.”

If you answer any of the following except “d,” then you’re allowed to surf WebMD.
Another good filter question would be:
If you thought your liver was not functioning correctly, would you:
a)      Go to the hospital.
b)      Take the day off work.
c)       Have a friend come stay with you.
d)      Attend a distillery crawl.

Again, if you answer any of the following except “d,” then you’re allowed to surf WebMD.
I don’t know if you can hear it, but I’m silently giggling so hard I think I’m going to hurt myself.

While this is hilarious—I still think I am the ideal demographic.  Seriously, if I am able to dismiss the result that I am dying with a “Whatevs” then clearly I still have some semblance of sanity intact.  Wait.  Or maybe what I meant was, if I can still say “whatevs” then clearly I am waiting to panic until I see a physician instead of running to the emergency room.  I believe that if someone can’t feel their legs and decide to check WebMD first, they are nutso (official medical term.) 

Also, this is coming from the girl who told me to call in "Sour Milked." 

PS My dad called and said I should read the Plague because it’s right up my alley these days. 
Really Post-Script: Apparently, when Becky is done giggling she’s going to respond here at  I can’t wait to hear more of her loving concern… 


  1. I'm so glad the source of your hypochondria is revealed: it's genetic.

    Also, I'm still giggling so hard I could barely type that sentence.

  2. This entry has made me realize that I love Becky even more due to her proper grammar! Thank you, Becky!