Thursday, September 8, 2011

Goofy Bastard

Now, where was I? Oh yes.  We were just leaving Universal, headed towards Disney.  As we drove onto the property Stacey admitted that she felt dirty as if she had cheated on Mickey himself.  I had no such feelings of remorse.  We arrived at the Contemporary, which not only looked like a big cruise ship, but was also very ironically named.  We were in the new building though, and our room was OFF. THE. HOOK.  Two floors of amazing.  Stacey made sure that we didn’t touch anything until she could take pictures… and aren’t you glad she did?

After dropping our stuff off, we ran over to Epcot.  We got on the Nemo Ride and the announcement of “No Flashing!” came over the loud speaker followed by my brother’s comment, “Tiffany!”  The Mission to Mars (or whatever it’s called) ride was epic – and they gave out free vomit bags!  I’ll take two, please!  Then we traveled back into time for Michael Jackson’s Captain EO 3D adventure,

 Crush was hilarious, and I couldn’t help thinking that the most retro thing in all of Epcot was Tomorrowland.  We got a text at some point that announced “The sh*t show had arrived” right before we saw Michelle, Doug, and their two little ones Nate & Kate.  (Nate, at 2 ½ was calling me Aunt Tiffany, and I don’t care how confusing it will be later, I was not going to correct him.)

Monday, we went to the Animal Kingdom. After proclaiming for 12 hours that I had never been there, I walked into the Lion King Show and re-negged my previous claims entirely. 

Stacey (After watching her 2 1/2 year old nephew go from laughing to screaming): He could be bi-polar.

Sean: Look at this goofy bastard.
I look around and see the one and only, Goofy. 

Sean (In response to waiting for small children and their parents to get it together): If we were taking the bus I'd be furious right now.

I also spent the day talking about how I wanted to see a Muntjac (as advertised in the brochure) only we couldn’t find one.  I googled it though, so that’s the same. 

We headed back to jump in the pool but after ten minutes it started to thunder.  Sean was thrilled.  Then it was Stacey’s turn to be “Thrilled” when we got to the boardwalk/epcot and it was pouring out.  PONCHO TIME! (I think I was just lucky that Stacey didn’t make it PUNCH “T” TIME! (Sometimes my enthusiasm just isn’t appreciated. :P )  We had a fine meal of chicken nuggets before we left the girls with Michelle and Doug and headed to Mexico, followed by Germany and France. 

Sean: Worst case scenario, we’ll meet you at 9 at the bridge.
Stacey: You can’t just dump our kids on them until 9.
Sean: I did say “worst case scenario.”  Come on! Let’s go hit the Donald Duck ride. 

At night, outside of our hotel, there was a magical, boat of lights and song that looked a little bit like a sea serpent but then would change as the “show” went on. The first night, we all went out on the balcony and marveled at the night lights.  Three days later…

Me: What is that?
Sean: Oh, it's that musical crap outside.
Stace: People pay good money for that crap.

In addition to the musical crap, our room also allowed us access to the rooftop & bar where you could view the fireworks and they even piped in the when you wish upon a star music.  There was also a map of what we were looking at.  I made a comment that the map should have been labeled “Obvious” until days later, Stace asked, “What is that big white building right in front of us.”  Space Mountain, Stace.  Check out the map. 

We came down from the bar one night (or maybe Doug and Sean we’re going up to the rooftop?  IDK) anyway, before they left, Doug spilled beer all over the couch.  I jokingly told him to flip the cushion – only I meant when it was dry.  He flipped it immediately, and it wasn’t a flippable cushion, so when he walked away I flipped it back to dry.

Sean, unaware of the situation, “What did Doug spill over there? My ass is all wet.”
Doug: I flipped it over!
Me: You can't, dumb dumb.

Wednesday was Hollywood Studios – where we hit Aerosmith twice and the Tower of Terror all in the first ¾ hour.  Rockin’ it.   We also did the new Toy Story Ride, and all of the other essentials, fun fun fun.  Followed by another ten minute attempt at the pool and a game of bocce – dinner at Wolf Gang Pucks – and then we were back at Hollywood for round two. 

Walking through the parking lot
Sean: All those people would be dead.
Me: What?
Sean:  All of those people would be dead.  That's what Darwin says. Now we give them front row seats.
(I looked over, and yes.  I saw the Handicapped Parking area.)

On the movie ride at Hollywood Studios:
Morgan: It's not scary. Unless you don't like musicals…
Sean: Then it’s terrifying.

Bails: Let's just go on this ride 5 more times until the park closes.
(5 Minutes later)
Actor(to Bails): Hey doll face, can you drive the getaway car?
Bails (to me): I don't want to go on this ride ever again.

Walking behind a mass of people on our way to the show
Sean: Can we fast pass Fantasmic?
Morgan: Yea. The fast pass is if we run right now.

Thursday we took full advantage of having a 7 minute walk to the Magic Kingdom.  We also continued our habit of not eating lunch and sometimes dinner – because honestly if it’s a choice between eating and another ride, ALWAYS go for another ride.  

Me: Did you eat today?
Stace: I had some soft serve, you?
Me: I had a Corona.
Stace: Did it have a lime?
Me: Yes.
Stace: Well, that’s nutrition. 

Stacey: My grandmother bought me one of those leather bracelets every year, and every year it was spelled S-T-A-C-Y.

We came back in between the Magic Kingdom and then used the monorail to hit up Epcot and then back to the Magic Kingdom for the parade.  On our way to Epcot, we were stopped for a bit. 

Announcement: Monorail maintenance
Stace: Is that like when there is interference on the tracks (in NY)?
Sean: Suicide on the rails!

Doug: Stay away from the pole, Katie!
(Did I mention that Katie is 14 months old?)
Stace: Bailey has been asking for a (stripper) pole to be installed in her room because, as she keeps telling me, she has incredible upper body strength.  Jackie, however, has asked for a Fireman’s pole that goes from her room to the living room.  I told her I would consider it if it means she comes downstairs when I ask her to. 

Epcot consisted of us trying to drink ourselves through the countries (note to self, I did NOT care for their Margarita’s), sharing a pretzel with Jackie and Bails for dinner, followed by more drinking. 

(Sean suddenly started sprinting ahead) Stace: Where is he going? I am going to KILL him. 
Sean running back: I wanted to run ahead and get more beer before we left.
This was followed by me hanging back to help carry/ID for the beer, followed by us running with tops that didn’t actually fit the cups, to catch up with everyone.  Here’s Bails in the Monorail, holding her cousin’s sippy cup and newly acquired Viking gear, all while helping me with my beer:

While we were heading to the MK, the monorail stopped again.  While Stace wouldn’t let me start a sing-a-long the first time we were stopped, Michelle had no problem encouraging me to get everyone to sing ZIPPADEEDOODA! Weird, as soon as I started singing the monorail decided to start working again.  You’re welcome, Stacey. 

Friday we had another magical day on super speed.

Morgan before the Haunted Mansion: Aunt Tiffany, will you sit next to me? But no one in the middle because that's where the ghost sits.

In the time that I was on Thunder Mountain, due to the lack of lock on my phone, I sent 4 messages via FB, Composed 5 emails, and Texted a picture of Bailey 10 times.  It really IS a smart phone. 

Bailey (13) got me to go on the Teacups several times because it is her absolute favorite ride. See?

I also discovered that Bailey is now a teenager.  I don’t mean because I just noticed 5 months late that she turned 13, but because she now cares about how she looks.  I think my barometer is for girls, if its 98 degrees out with 100% humidity and you still have your hair down, wearing layers of clothing because it looks better and/or are wearing high heels in a park, you are a teenager.  For boys, naturally, the opposite is true, you are wearing a tank top, shorts and sandals and there is snow on the ground, congratulations, you are a teenager.  

Why was Cinderella terrible at playing Soccer? Because her coach was a pumpkin!  (Leave me in stiches)

We actually got a lot of good sun/pool time, which is also where we lost Sean, Jackie and Morgan – but Bails, Stace and I persevered as we headed back to see the 3 o’clock parade.   (I know Stacey told Morgan that “Water and soap need to touch your skin every other day” but every time I showered I questioned WHY I would waste my time.  95+ degrees and heavy humidity will do that.  On Saturday, as we were walking out of the hotel, Nate asked, “What happened to the sticky stuff, Mommy?” and I realized that’s what he was calling the humidity.  J )

Oh! Okay, so this isn’t funny, but I wanted to tell you anyway.  On one of the days where there was thunder so we had to leave the pool, I came inside, played go-fish for 5 minutes and then, went upstairs for a nap.  Two seconds later, Morgan, my bed buddy, was up in the room with me.  She said, “I’m just changing out of my suit.” However, what she did was close the curtains and crawl into bed with me.  Such a snuggle bug! 

Friday night we hit the Floridian for dinner which was divine (and not just because we were actually eating dinner.) Saturday morning, Sean and Stacey left wicked early (they had a 1pm soccer tournament to go to for Jackie O.)  With the entire day open to me, I did what any girl would do; I went back to Universal and spent the majority of the day in Hogsmeade. 

Here is my lame attempt at capturing the ride I went on 7 times (that’s right. 7 times.  There was a 90 minute wait time, but *I* was a single rider:

And here is the Sorting Hat:

Also, they had Moaning Myrtle in the bathrooms. Nice work, Universal. 

Over all, a pretty epic trip/Christmas present.  I hope you had as much fun hearing about it!

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