I hope you are all holding up, whatever that might look like to you in your world. Hopefully, you’ll find something chuckle worthy here…
Mo had some excitement in her world early last week.
Mo: Tell dad he can check out the rabid skunk in the backyard.
Momela: Does the skunk have the rabbit or does the rabbit have the skunk?
Frita is working on his “Pandemic Pantry Challenge” (as I like to call it), to get through everything in the pantry, no matter the expiration date. We can only hope he doesn’t end up in the ER at the end of all of this. This week, we had two updates. The first was finishing a hazelnut coffee mate creamer (PS – he doesn’t even like hazelnut coffee mate) which expired in 2010. (reminiscent of the 2014 creamer story) and later in the week the second update was Mashed Potatoes from ’98!
He also found an old Monday email that he had printed out. “It’s the one where you took the kids out, and Kyle fell asleep. Do you know which one I’m talking about?” I asked for a little more info, but I did think it might be time that I let Morgan have coffee ice cream after 10PM. And after he read it out loud to me, it was indeed that time!
I was chatting with Aunt Audrye, my mother’s eldest sister, who I just adore. And we were chatting about politics and the pandemic and other cheery subjects.
Aunt Audrye: These days people talk about everything - even their sex life! Isn’t anything sacred?
Me: I know! Let’s go back to talking about politics and religion!
She also told me if I know of any available old men, I should send them on over. And when we were saying our good-bye’s she promised to call as soon as she had anything to report on the sex-life front!
Sharon: that is so freaky.
Sharon: I just said your name, but didn't get to finish the statement.
Me: What were you going to say after that?
Sharon: I was just thinking about how you said you weren’t cooking and how sad that is because it’s one of the great joys of being home right now.
Me: Sounds like a lot of dishes but I guess it’s nice that you were thinking about me. I’ll take all the pity I can get.
Speaking of phone calls… if anyone wanted to know what dating is like these days:
TPat: We can do phone chat or whats app or…
Date: Is phone chat an app?
Claire introduced her children to the VHS tape this week. Her daughter got upset because she was interrupted, and her little brother wanted to use the TV.
Daughter: Wait! I was watching that!
Claire: Girl, let me show you the beauty of the VHS. (And then showed her that the VHS tape would be in the exact same place if you took it and played it on a different device.)
Claire has also been struggling with her own infestations at her house during this pandemic, but hers required an exterminator. This reminded me of the story of Mo putting insecticide in the house and then remembering to yell, “Don’t eat anything on the floor!” and immediately heard Kevin spitting something out.
Claire: My kid will go under the table at a restaurant and have food in his mouth and I’m like, “We did not order that!”
Zach shared this funny video with us:
And then Dawne responded with: I love fashion!
Oh, big news! I got my license in the mail so the alcohol scare is over (and also it’s probably good to have valid ID for other reasons.) Ryan and TPat sent me Harry Potter themed Minnie Mouse ears (they took the chance here that my inner brand manager would hate these, but nope, I love love love the mash up!) Becky brought over a unicorn mask for me and I spent 30 minutes in the rain talking to her (best part of that day!) I also cleared out a corner of my house filled with 3 years of Halo Legendary Crates, and went through some holiday cards, finding this gem from Kathi and Hendrick. It was complete with actual pictures with little notes on the back of each one. I read it all over again and it did indeed fill me with joy. Definitely a keeper.
That actually leads us nicely into the "Flashback" portion of this weeks update.
Kevin asked me to be his sponsor for his Confirmation. Love that kid! And while I don’t remember much about the party, I did have these two random notes in my files:
Aiden: Kyle gave me some crackers
Mo: I’m so glad to hear that he shares!
I really wish I could remember the context to this one…
What should I do with these towels of blood?
You should save that for Halloween
And when I got back from NY, the weekend had a fun road-trip to Walla Walla with Becky in store for me! Becky is a huge fan of Stephen Amell from Arrow, and he co-owns a winery in Walla Walla – and she got VIP tickets for the opening party. COUNT ME IN. It was a super good time, and honestly, as you would expect at an open bar wine tasting event that happened two years ago, the details are fuzzy. Luckily I took notes, unluckily, I don’t have a ton of back story to help you out…
Barista: Do you want a copy?
Tiffany: Yes. Definitely.
Barista hands Tiffany her receipt.
Tiffany: Oh, no receipt. I thought you asked if I wanted a cup, and I thought, "Yes. I definitely want one of those."
“I don’t know how you do things in Walla Walla but I like my coffee in a cup, weirdos.”
Best line ever: I’ve been roofied
You are wearing a lot of my makeup
Yeah, but I feel like I earned it.
And in 2019, as I was driving home, Stella Adorable, my Fiat, announced that there was something wrong with the engine and went into limp-home mode. I was very close to the dealer, so I brought her safely there. The same dude was there who tried to man-splain to me about how headlights work. I told him the situation and he was like, welp, I can’t help you right now because it was 5:45 and they close at 6. I was like, alright then, and went back to my car. The other dude, got off the phone and ran out to me and said I could leave the car there and he gave me a loaner. The following day, I found out there was about $4k dollars in work that needed to be done. As you all know, I’m a little bit like Lorelai when it comes to cars, so I immediately looked to see if I could just get the same one. Only now, they don’t make that car in a convertible with the same color scheme, and if you want the same colors, it cost extra for a special edition. I gave it a solid 24 hours to scour cars, and decide for the first time since I started driving, I might be okay with 4 doors and for the first time since college, I would not be driving a convertible and got myself a Jeep Renegade. TBH, I didn’t love it right away, but now that I have put custom white and blue leather seats, and put some Penn State license plate frames on her, she’s pretty cool.
I’ll wrap this up with my favorite haha’s from the week.