Monday, January 23, 2012

Medulla Oblongata

Last week was a bit of an anomaly in that I only went into the office for 4 hours total with the rest of the week working from home while we were stranded during “Snow-travesty 2012.”   There is something about not being able to leave the house that leaves you guilt free to lie about on the couch all day, and it is glorious.  Complete with cheese and chocolate fondue, wine, steak, cookies, breads of every variety really anything that wasn’t on the diet was made last week. 

I opted not to swim and get some work done (I don’t have to say that either, no one from work reads this).  When the rest of the fam came back in after their swim:
Jordan: This pool stuff is dangerous work.
Me (looking at Jordan in a robe): Why do you have a helmet on your head?
Jordan: I told you, it’s ROUGH out there. 

I got up every morning, showered, got dressed and stepped outside to see if I could make it to work.  At one point I actually searched for a shovel, but before I did, I announced that I was going to look for one and Jordan helpfully told me that if I could find one that there was an extra Spatula in the kitchen.  Thanks, Bro.


At one point I did get a work email from Kelly and at the bottom of the message it said: PS: I miss you.  It might have been directed to my boss, who was also on the email, but I like to think she was talking directly to me.   I also received many emails from co-workers to confirm that emails were received AKA “Proving I’m still working from home” emails.  I complained about these to my boss, only to get a “Hey did you get my email” email from him the following day and I swear for half a minute a panicked, thinking “I’ve been sitting here for an hour watching Gilmore Girls, and not a single email… oh, you… kidder.”  

At one point, because everyone was messing around with their iPad’s anyway, Lucas put on a skateboarding game.  Mind you, earlier in the day/week, Dawne had this mini-series on the BBC “Lillie” which was 13 episodes of horrendous.  But obviously we were going to watch it because Dawne wanted to.  There were a couple moments in which people actively did not tell her how the remote worked so she couldn’t get to the next episode, but ultimately, all of it was watched.  So, when Lucas started the game:

Dawne: Is watching this skateboarding game better than watching my movie?
Me: Yes. 
Dawne: Let’s take a vote.
Me: Jordan doesn’t get to weigh in.
Jordan: I watched 10 episodes!
Me: Watched? Or had them on while you were around? B/c I saw you put on several and leave the room.  Plus, you have to agree with Dawne.  You’re vote doesn’t count.
Dawne: Fine.  Lucas?
Lucas: Do the letters R-A-D mean anything to you?
Dawne: Zach?
Zach:  This [Skateboarding] is a step above.
Me: I told you!

(also while playing game)
Lucas: Is this how a ship is built?  Like, could you really skate board in a half built boat?
Me: “And could you buy me one daddy?”
Jordan: I hear there is one going for cheap in Italy. 

After watching “Office Space”:
Lucas: He should have taken the money and run.
Me: I couldn’t live with the guilt.
Lucas:  You know, there are scientific ways to deal with your morals.  They hook up electrodes to your medulla oblongata.
Me: Stay away from me at night while I’m sleeping. 
Lucas: Just be careful of your medulla oblongata.  

While watching a British movie that had a briefcase full of cash, Lucas said, “That’s not real money. It’s not green. “

Dawne: Let's watch a movie we have to pay for.
Jordan: Where do you want to watch this movie?
Dawne: Well, I'm already sitting here. 
Jordan: There are lots of free ones...but wait I'll find one we have to pay for. 

Lucas: Chili is the skinniest country in South America.  When people clap they have to clap like this (tiny pats on the sides of his legs.)

Dawne and I thought it would be fun to take a picture of all of us in our “Snow” outfits just to emphasize that Zach wore shorts and a T-Shirt every day.  When we went down to meet someone at the brown house on Friday, he was wearing flannel pants (b/c we made him put pants on to shovel) and sandals.  When we got down there, I asked Zach if he brought the keys down with him.  His reply?  “Look at me?  Do I look like someone who comes prepared?”  I ran back up and got keys. 

Saturday morning I finally got out of the house - first to my photoshop class, and then to meet Jen for a “Bachelorette” day.  We got pedicures, lunch (where Rach joined us), saw The Descendants (apparently it’s not a movie her 6 year old would enjoy), then coffee while waiting for Shana and Laina, followed by dinner and shopping.  Kind of an awesome day actually – though I’m afraid to tell her that isn’t how my typical Saturday goes. : )  While shopping we discovered “Moon Boots.” 

Shana: Do they come in size 11?

Why yes they do!

Trying on the Rainbow ones (which she ultimately bought) Laina: The other ones were too subtle. 

She is totally doing the moonwalk in this picture.  (We also found out that there is no left and right with these shoes because they have memory foam inside so you have to mark them.  Hehe.)

In case you wanted to know what it is like to be my friend in real life, I sent out an email to a couple of friends with the title “Meeting Request: High Horse Hunt”

Dear friends,

I find myself at a loss.  There was a time in which I would proudly sit on my high horse and talk about what I want out of life and love, but I have been thrown from my horse into a muddy puddle full of Settle-ment if you will.  I need a meeting with the express purpose of putting together a list of requirements in my life and future love.  And as board members, I feel like you will be able to fine tune the bare essential Non-Settlement.  For example, if you see me putting down, “Must find a man who is practically perfect in every way.” You can suggest “Able to act practically perfect on special occasions.”  I just feel like I am dangerously close to making bad or maybe just drastic decisions, and I need your help.  After we get a good list of standards or a wish list if you will, then maybe you can use it to get me back on a horse (even a medium sized horse will do.)

Some of you are seated firmly on your own high horses of wedded bliss, or simply more confident in your life choices, and some of you might just want to make your own lists (I’ll share my board with you.)  Either way, it might be fun to mock (I mean support) me for the evening.  I was thinking drinks with “How to Marry a Millionaire” in the background? 

-       Me

Surprisingly, no one questioned this ridiculous invitation.  Though, at the last minute, I almost canceled because I realized I’m actually not strong enough to have my friends tell me that I’m not living my life right and how to change it.  We ended up watching “Married in a Year.” 

I’m not entirely sure how helpful this was, but the chatting was quality chatting.  Plus we wrote down our 5 Non-Negotiable’s and a list of fun date ideas so even if the date was bad, at least you got to do something fun.  The most interesting bit of the movie, I thought, was that she suggested making “Bio Cards” which were kind of like baseball cards for yourself – complete with full length photo one side and stats and contact info on the back.  This way, your great aunt sally can meet a nice young man and hand over your bio card.  Would this picture be inappropriate for great aunt sally?

BDug: Fun girl day?
Me: I’m glad I didn’t cancel.
BDug:  That’s going to be written on your tombstone.

I just hope it’s not carved any time soon. 

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