Monday, November 29, 2010

Fez Cent

On Monday Seattle got a bit of snow.  When I say “a bit” I mean about an inch.  Naturally, my office was closed on Tuesday and it was a ghost town on Wednesday. 

Patrick: I wanted to be a fireman but dad doesn’t want me to be a fireman.
Mo: What do you mean? His grandfather was a fireman.  My grandfather was a fireman.  Why wouldn’t he want you to be a fireman?
Patrick: I don’t know.  But do you remember when we were putting up the tents over the summer and I was helping dad? He said, “I hope you don’t want to be a freakin’ fireman because you sure are slow.”
Mo to Pat: This is why you have to watch what you say. 

Thanksgiving brought the regular 45 people worth of fun to the house.  The major complaint about my cooking was that I made 6 pies but none of them were “Tiffetti Pie.”  Dawne outdid herself with preparation—this being the 7th or so Thanksgiving with over 40 people—all the way down to remembering to get extra Tupperware (it’s the little details.)  Bravo! We made snowmen this year for crafttime.  Luke decided to make the Christmas Unicorn snowman and then proceeded to try to convince us all that the real story, the one they don’t talk about, is that the only 2 of the Wiseman had camels. The third Wiseman had a Christmas Unicorn whose horn always pointed north in case it wasn’t a clear night and they needed directions.  

We also played our own version of Thanksgiving Pictionary in which everyone wrote down a clue related to Thanksgiving.  Naturally, there were many Turkey’s and Pumpkin’s.  Zach and I kicked off the game with Pheasant and Bloated.  I drew the following:

While my team did get it eventually, I was frustrated that they got “Fez” so easily and then couldn’t get the rest of it.  Jordan said “This was not our fault.  First you drew a Duck, not a Pheasant.  And then you drew dollar signs on your coins.  What do you think you should have used Tiffany?”   Geez.  When was the last time someone use the ¢ symbol!?  Then there were some turkeys and pilgrims, followed by Paisley getting extremely angry about getting a Miracle (which frankly might be the first time I’ve ever seen that happen.)  Then I got the Donner Party and Zach got Pepto Bismol.  And then finally, my clue was drawn by Michele—Plymouth.  Naturally, she didn’t go for the rock and three ships.  Nope, she spent the whole time trying to remember what the Plymouth Car symbol was.  Mission Accomplished, Team 2. 

Back at my brother’s house, a smaller but just as fun filled Thanksgiving was happening.  I got a text from my sister-in-law’s sister asking me, “Do you think I need to re-evaluate my life when at some point today Jackie (our sweet 10 year old niece) says to me “It’s because you are lonely.  No offense.” 

Last Thanksgiving, Dawne discovered that people actually wake up early the Friday after Thanksgiving and go shopping.  Despite her enthusiasm over participating in this oh-so-very exciting practice, I convinced her we couldn’t do it last year b/c we didn’t do any reconnaissance.  I could not avoid it this year though.  So, just like Jessica Simpson in the Macy’s commercials, I woke up Luke at 3:30 and asked him if he wanted me to sing him awake.  Not having any real idea of what we wanted, our shopping consisted of mostly “That’s a deal so I guess we have to buy it.”  We waited to get into GameStop only to buy three things that weren’t on sale and had come out weeks earlier—but we got to wait in line to get in which is the *fun part*.  Then we got breakfast and took a three hour nap followed by lunch and more shopping… at Value Village—where everyone goes on Black Friday. J

After going to the Apple store and then the Microsoft Store two doors down Luke observed, “The only difference between those two stores are Helvetica and Ariel.  Which is also what I plan to name my daughters.”

Tim and Amada came over on Saturday night and I learned a bunch of stuff about chicken coops that I probably didn’t need to know. Including the fact that with 1.2 million chickens laying eggs they only clean the coop out once a year and that down in Florida they will get so many frogs that it is literally impossible to step or certainly drive without hitting a dozen of them.  And I don’t even want to talk about the Armadillo’s (unless of course we’re talking about the Hanukah Armadillo—then I’m all in.)   

We also got a Christmas tree! A real one! And on our way to pick up the tree with the van, whose window won’t go up, we discussed if it was better to get the window fixed, get a new van or just get some more duct-tape.  I’m voting for duct-tape.  In case anyone wanted to see our Silver, Gold and White themed tree that we put up while watching the SNL Christmas Special DVD:

We also watched Muppet Family Christmas, Miracle on 34ths Street, Holiday’s in Handcuffs, Whoopie Goldberg Santa Something Movie, Elf, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (twice), All three of the The Santa Clause Movies, Christmas with the Cranks, Muppet Christmas Carol, Curious George Christmas, The Christmas Cottage and White Christmas.  And it isn’t even December yet.  In case I haven’t pointed out the funniest moment in the Muppets Christmas Carol… Here it is:

Luke: Do you want to hear a song? It’s called “My Boy Makes Coffins.”  It’s sad.  It’s about death. But it’s catchy!

Nate has declared that Morgan’s cool factor has leapt right off the charts.  You see, last year and then again this year my 7 year old niece asked me for “Fladoodles” for Christmas.  I searched and searched for these fladoodles and just found out this weekend that fladoodles were actually on an episiode of iCarly in which someone asks a girl to go out and get them fladoodles knowing full well that they do not exist.  When I called my sister-in-law to congratulate her on such a cunning child, Stacey told me that Morgan really wanted Fuzzy Bendaroos…. Which, in case anyone wanted to know, are basically pipe-cleaners.  Well done, Morgan, well done.

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