Friday, February 25, 2011

Liquid Courage and a Carcass

Wednesday morning Jordan woke me up at 5:30 am to ask me to drive them to the airport b/c their ride was going to be late.  When I got back home, I tried to go to sleep but ended up just laying there with a pout on my face for an hour.    There was a prediction of snow also on Wednesday, so when I got into the office my cube mates and I joked about the possible need to press my “Winterize” button in my car and gazed longingly outside waiting for snow.  I also checked every 5 minutes for an update instead of looking out the window.  I told Chris to let me know when I should look outside b/c to turn my head was too much effort.  He told me that one of his friends texted his girlfriend saying “Look outside, It’s hailing.”  And she responded with, “Make me.”

I got home and I could smell something not so good.  I checked the kitchen… until I looked over at the mouse cage and said “Mouse? Mooouse? Don’t do this to me mouse.”  I then texted a couple of people saying “I think the mouse is dead (frowny face.)”  and then grabbed a Mike’s for some liquid courage while I tried to figure out a plan.  At one point I got a text back from BDug saying “Stop being such a baby.” And as I grabbed supplies I kept thinking “BUT I AM A BABY!”   I think it might have been dead for a day or two for it to smell as bad as it did.  Add to the fact that the cage hasn’t been cleaned since Dawne left 2 weeks ago… and the fact that this mouse didn’t curl up and die peacefully in its sleep but rather was laid out on its back with its paws all sad and pathetic…and the fact that I don't  touch mice even when they are alive... made this a particularly unfortunate excavation process.  I wrapped my whole face with a big scarf to deaden the smell, then pulled on thick rubber gloves, and grabbed a hefty bag.  (Originally, I thought about just reaching in and putting the mouse in a zip lock bag but I couldn’t do it.  And it was not lost on me that I watched 5 seasons of Dexter, but couldn’t handle seeing a dead mouse.)  After removing the bigger items in the cage, I jimmied the bag around the side and then ran with the 10 gallon tank outside into the snowy fresh air.  After turning it on its side and getting a bunch of the contents out into the bag (I would run away and towards it as much as holding my breath would allow –and at one point when I was away from it, I heard something move—and was afraid maybe it wasn’t really dead.  But then I realized that it was DEFINITIELY dead, and it was just the snow hitting the bag.)  Eventually, I got the glass cage out of the bag and ran the cage contents, dead mouse and all, up to trash on street level.  By the time I got into the house, I was shaking, and therefore headed to the fridge for another Mike’s.

Becky’s response: No one calls Mike’s “Liquid Courage.” 

Jordan: I’m not going to tell Dawne about this yet.

Co-Worker: That’s the thing about death.  It’s a total nuisance… as we’ll find out if Colin doesn’t notice that you’re dead (at your desk.)

(I have a sneaking suspicion that I have had to use this sentiment before. My Bad.)  

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